1 Afflictive Emotions and the Job Search Westford Networking Group Dan DeMaioNewton & Christal Dionne April 13, 2011

Thank You! Thank you for your interest in the slides from the Jobseeker’s Guide to Afflictive Emotions delivered at the Westford Job Seeker’s Networking Group Meeting in Westford, MA on April 14, My greatest hope is that it may be helpful to you in getting a better job faster. I’m granting you access to all my slides in their entirety and would ask that if you use them in your own work that you reference Monster. If there is any way I can be of assistance in any way, large or small, please feel free to contact me. Warmest Regards, Dan DeMaioNewton Director of Strategy Monster Worldwide

Afflictive Emotions Associated with the Job Seeker Life Cycle Working Lost Job Reorientation Job Search Hired Worry about losing job Stress of work Relationship challenges Bad boss/culture Am I doing what I’m here for? Maintaining non- work relationships Work/life balance Anger Upset Loss Disorientation Change of routine/habits Blow to Self-esteem Identification issues Loss of social network Loss of resources Stigma of joining the stigmatized Suffering of change New habits New networks & reconnection to untended networks Learning & Adopting New Activities Job Search Strategy Job Search Activities Encouragement Anger Worry Frustration Anxiety Depression Stress Disappointment Failure Low Self Esteem Poor habits Judging self and others Shame Guilt Fear Relief Joy/Pleasure Excitement Change of routine/habits New social network Anxiety Keeping what’s important Loss Suffering of change

Lesson 1: Things are not as they appear.

Lesson 2: Our minds actively create our reality

The Ladder of Inference

The Two World Views of Job Seekers

Exercise 1: This too shall pass.

Exercise 2: Change Your Mind

Exercise 3: Change Your Situation

Lesson 3: The World has already Accepted You.

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. -- Frank Outlaw Exercise 4: Develop Good Habits (and try to avoid bad habits)

Who is the Better Teacher? Lesson 4: Problems are of enormous benefit.

No matter what problem I face I won’t be irritated by them. I won’t see any circumstance as an obstacle. I’ll regard them as positive (Repeat every morning and during the day as necessary) Exercise 5: Set Your Attitude

8 World Views Lead to Suffering PleasureGainFamePraisePainLossDisreputeBlame Exercise 6: Be Like the Mountain and Abandon All World Views.

Exercise: Write Your Obituary Roz Savage ✦ 33 Years Old, Married, Mortgage ✦ Living the Rat Race ✦ 11 Years as Management Consultant ✦ Knew from Day 1 - Not the Career for Her ✦ Stopgap until Figured It All Out Wrote Her Own Obituary – Version 1: One that I Wanted Risk Takers whose lives were filled with spectacular successes and failures – Version 2: One Heading For The type you wouldn’t want to read in the paper

Exercise: Write Your Obituary

Tonglen Taking and Sending

Final Pearls of Wisdom All Happiness comes from thinking of others. All suffering comes from thinking of one’s self. If something can be done, there is no need to worry. If nothing can be done, there is no need to worry. In all circumstances worrying is not helpful. Afflictive emotions are like clouds – they may be strong when upon you, but they too will pass.