Suggestions for Teaching Elaboration Session 2  Asking Questions  Recognizing Elaboration  Show, Don’t Tell Adapted by Kristine Gooding from : OSPI Instructional Support Materials for Writing

ASKING QUESTIONS THAT LEAD TO ELABORATION

Elaboration answers questions for the reader. Kids like to play. I wonder what kind of games they like to play?

Elaboration answers questions for the reader. Kids like to play. For example, kids really like to play games. I wonder what kind of games they like to play?

Elaboration answers questions for the reader. Kids like to play. For example, kids really like to play games on the computer, games with their friends, as well as different sports. Now I understand, kids like to play a lot of different games.

Elaboration answers questions for the reader- your turn. Turn to a partner and add even more elaboration to the previous slide. Discuss what kinds of games and sports kids like to play. Think about who will read what you write. What information will help them understand you idea more clearly?

Practice with a Partner Read the prompt and the paragraphs on the next slides. Write questions you would need answered to better understand what the writer is telling you. What do you want to know more about? What do you wish the writer would have told you? Discuss your questions with your partner.

Practice with a Partner Writing Prompt: Think about special people in your life. Write multiple paragraphs to your teacher telling about the special people in your life.

I need to know more…. The Special People in Oregon I have three special people in Oregon. One of them is my cousin. He plays huge water baloon fights with me. His name is Aaron. Aaron and I play terrific games together like tag, hide and go seek, and basketball. He lives in Oregon. My Grandma also lives in Oregon. She has a Super Nintendo that we play together and she has movies to watch too. My aunt lives in Oregon and she takes me places like Enchanted Village. Her name is Cindy. I love the people in Oregon. I wonder if the writer lives in Oregon? What games does his grandmother play on a Super Nintendo? Is his aunt his cousin Aaron’s mom? I wonder what Enchanted Village is?

Answer Questions - your turn Think about the questions you discussed on the previous slide. Rewrite the paragraphs using elaboration strategies. Include information the reader wants to know. –Make up any information you need in order to elaborate effectively.

RECOGNIZING ELABORATION

Where is the elaboration? The main reason I love Halloween is the candy. Oh my gosh, it’s like heaven—even for big kids. What I’m trying to say is that my mom lets me collect and eat all the mini candy bars, fruity treats, and sour chewies that I can. When I get to heaven, it will have all those kinds of candy. Last year, I was running out the door at 5:30, pillowcase in hand, hitting the houses in my neighborhood with my friend Steven. You might not believe it, but I got 237 individual servings of candy, and it was my highest record yet. I figure at 20 pieces a day it will take me 12 days to polish it all off. There’s nothing better than candy if you’re a kid.

Where is the elaboration? What I’m trying to say is that my mom lets me collect and eat all the mini candy bars, fruity treats, and sour chewies that I can. –DEFINE The writer is attempting to define how getting candy on Halloween is like heaven.

Where is the elaboration? Last year, I was running out the door at 5:30, pillowcase in hand, hitting the houses in my neighborhood with my friend Steven. - ANECDOTE The writer is including a bit of a narrative story with personal experience to make his point about how he was going to get candy.

Where is the elaboration? You might not believe it but I got 237 individual servings of candy, and it was my highest record yet. I figure at 20 pieces a day it will take me 12 days to polish it all off. – STATISTICS The writer is making up or remembering statistics that make his point about getting a large amount of candy.

Recognizing Elaboration - your turn Read the following paragraph and mark the types of elaboration you find. Discuss what kinds of elaboration are effective. Easy to recognize.

SHOW, DON’T TELL

Show, don’t tell What is the difference between these two samples? Which one is better and why? My room was a mess. I open the door a crack and I smell crackers and toast. I see my toys and trucks and transformers. I step on rocks and dirt and squished bananas.

Definition of Telling and Showing Telling is the use of broad generalizations. Showing is the use of details, facts, statistics, examples, anecdotes, quotations, dialogue – elaboration – to develop, persuade, explain, or enliven a story.

Telling vs. Showing Sample My room was a mess. There were clothes that my brother left on his bed and there were papers all around the room. Toys, crayons, robots, and my big robot were taken apart and bargain hunter cards scattered everywhere. I didn’t make up my bed. You think that was all? There was some food around the room.

Show, Don’t Tell - your turn With a partner, discuss how to make these sentences show, rather than tell. The child in the hall was sad. I am tired. Lunch was delicious. The car was filthy. Pick two of the sentences and rewrite them to share with the group. I knew I needed to see the situation in my head first and then try to describe it for the reader.

Before the next meeting, I agree to try the following with my students… I will teach my students to ask questions, recognize elaboration, and show not tell. Students will practice elaborating using the techniques. I will bring three student samples to share at our next meeting.