Changing Our Self- Talk Sue Bohlin suebohlin.com

Changing Our Self-Talk §Self talk: the old, destructive tapes that run in our heads §Where do they come from? l Parents l Classmates l Shaping forces of the media l What we tell ourselves

Changing Our Self-Talk §Not psycho-babble §“As a man thinks within his heart, so is he.” Prov. 23:7 §Spiritual warfare l Satan is the accuser of the brethren l Lies and schemes

Changing Our Self-Talk §What to do: §Identify your tapes. “Lord, show me where I’m being deceived.” §Stop the tape player in your head. §Replace the lies with the truth from the Word. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind – Rom. 12:2 Biblical change: put off/put on -- Eph. 4:22-24

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “I am a failure. I can’t do anything right.” §Phil. 4:13 -- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. §Gal. 2:20 -- Christ lives in me; I trust Him to do this through me.

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “I am unloved.” “You are precious and honored in My sight, and I love you.” --Isaiah 43:4

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth l “My parents’ problems were my fault.” l “I am responsible for my parents (or my children’s) happiness.” §I don’t have that kind of power. §Each one bears his own load – Gal. 6:5 §Ezek. 18 – Each one is responsible for his own choices

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “I was not wanted.” §There is no such thing as an unwanted child from God’s perspective. §Isaiah 49:1 §Jeremiah 1:4

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “ If I mess up, that would be the end of the world. I have to be perfect.” §Only God is perfect §He has promised to hold my hand when I stumble. l Psalm 18:35 l Psalm 73:23 §I am longing for Eden

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “If I don’t do things right I can be abandoned.” §Heb. 13:5 -- God will never leave me.

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “ The sexual abuse I experienced was my fault.” §3x in Song of Solomon: “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” §Hebrew word for incest is “confusion.”

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “If people really knew who I am or what I did they wouldn’t like me.” §Every single person is a messed-up sinner who desperately needs Jesus as much as I do. §Jesus became my sin on the cross, and exchanged my sin for His righteousness. ( 2 Cor. 5:21 )

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “I’m nobody special.” §Ps. 139:14 -- I am fearfully and wonderfully made. §Gen. 1:26 -- I am made in God’s image, and that makes me infinitely valuable. §Eph. 2:10 -- I am God’s masterpiece, His workmanship--His poem!

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “God doesn’t like me, let alone love me.” §Zeph. 3:17 – He will take great delight in me, He will quiet me with His love, He will rejoice over me with singing. §Is. 43:4 –I am precious and honored in His sight, and He loves me.

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “God will speak and do things for others, but not for me.” §John 10:27 – My sheep hear My voice §Acts 10:34 – God is no respecter of persons. He doesn’t play favorites. §Eph. 6:9 – There is no partiality with God

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “I just cannot resist temptation— it’s too hard.” §1 Cor. 10:13 -- God is faithful to provide a way of escape. §Eph. 2:6 -- I am seated in the heavenlies. What a great place from which to let Jesus battle my temptations!

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “Because I have __________, or because __________ happened to me, I am unacceptable.” §Eph. 1:6 -- I am accepted in the Beloved. §Rom. 14:3 -- The Father has accepted me. §Rom. 15:7 -- Christ has accepted me. §Not only am I accepted AND acceptable, but God delights to use the very thing I am ashamed of! (The Cracked Pot)

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “I am such a disappointment to God, to my family, and to myself.” §I cannot disappoint a God who knows everything and has no expectations about me. §I can accept myself as a work in progress, accepted and love by God. §Jesus was a disappointment to His family too, because of unrealistic expectations.

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “I am damaged goods--I have scars.” §My scars are trophies of God’s grace! §Jacob’s limp §We will worship Jesus’ scars in heaven. Scars will be beautiful in heaven!

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “Everybody has to approve of me. It’s essential that everyone like me.” §God’s approval is all that matters, and He approves of me. He not only loves me, He LIKES me! §Jesus wasn’t liked and approved of by everybody--and He was perfect!

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “I am not good enough.” §My adequacy is from God. §“Not that we are adequate in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our adequacy comes from God.” 2 Cor. 2:5

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “I am ugly.” §1 Pet. 2:4 – I can adorn myself with a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in God’s sight. §Ps. 45:11 – The King is enthralled by your beauty.

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “I’m too old to change.” 2 Cor. 4:16 -- God is renewing me on the inside, day by day.

Lies/Misbeliefs Truth “This pain will never go away. I will be hounded forever.” I have a finite number of tears inside me, which God is collecting in a bottle as I cry. (Ps. 56:8)