Principles of Communication Chapter 8: Relationships

Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 2 SCOPE Chapter 8 Lecture and Discussion: Relationship Types Factors that Affect Relationships Steps Needed to Ensure Effective Relationships Chapter 8 Case Study Instructor Review Student Q&A 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 2

Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 3 Relationships Why have relationships? 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 3 Emotional needs Social needs Physiological needs

Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 4 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page Interpersonal Relationships Intimacy

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Interpersonal Relationships An interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more people that may range from fleeting to enduring. The context can vary from… family or kinship relationsfriendship marriagerelations with associates workclubs neighborhoodsplaces of worship 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 5

Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 6 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 6 What makes a good friendship? Enjoyment Acceptance Respect Mutual assistance Confiding Understanding Spontaneity 8.3 Interpersonal Relationships

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Interpersonal Relationships A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between two individuals. This includes… Romantic or Intimate Relationship Parent–Child Relationship Groups of People (uncle and family, or mayor and town) Nations (international relations between USA and China) What is this relationship type? 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 7

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Interpersonal Relationships Development George Levinger’s (1983) 5 stages of a relationship: 1.Acquaintance – Two people meet and share some common interest to maintain a friendly or cordial relationship. 2.Buildup – During this stage, people begin to trust and care about each other with a need for intimacy, compatibility and common backgrounds. 3.Continuation – This stage follows a mutual commitment to a long-term friendship, romantic relationship, or marriage. 4.Deterioration – Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of trouble, such as boredom, resentment, and dissatisfaction. 5.Termination – The final stage marks the end of the relationship, either by death in the case of a healthy relationship, or by separation. 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 8

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Flourishing Relationships Positive psychologists use the term “flourishing relationships” to describe interpersonal relationships that are not merely happy, but instead characterized by intimacy, growth, and resilience. This is for personal or professional lives, and is considered positive with plans for spending long periods of time together. 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 9

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Communication Theories and Empirical Research Minding Relationships… the mindfulness theory of relationships shows how closeness in relationships may be enhanced. Five components of “minding” include: 1.Knowing and being known: seeking to understand the partner 2.Making relationship-enhancing attributions for behaviors: giving the benefit of the doubt 3.Accepting and respecting: empathy and social skills 4.Maintaining reciprocity: active participation in relationship enhancement 5.Continuity in minding: persisting in mindfulness 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 10

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Communication Theories and Empirical Research After studying married couples for many years, psychologist John Gottman has proposed the theory of the “magic ratio” for successful marriages. Successful couples will average a ratio of five positive interactions to one negative interaction (5:1). A 1:1 ratio usually means divorce. 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 11

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Communication Theories and Empirical Research Eric Berne – EGO States and Transactional Analysis 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 12

3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 13 A transaction is an exchange of strokes. Transactional Analysis A stroke is a “unit of recognition”. We are all desperately seeking strokes from others. A stroke could be a nod of the head, a hand shake, a “hello” or a “get stuffed”. All of these acknowledge that the other person exists.

3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 14 Strokes can be positive (“Hello”) Transactional Analysis or negative (“Get stuffed!”) Conditional (“I hate you when you’re mean like this!”) or Unconditional (“You’re stupid!”) The only thing worse than a negative stroke is no stroke at all…………..

3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 15 Transactions are based on our ‘ego-states’. Complimentary Transactions P P A A C C Parent Behaviours, thoughts and feelings we learn from our parents or parental figures. Adult Behaviours, thoughts and feelings in direct response to the here and now (rational/objective) Child Behaviours, thoughts and feelings replayed from our childhood ( < 6 years old)

3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 16 Person A “Ow! I’ve cut myself.” Person B “Oh dear, come here and let me clean it up”. Complimentary Transactions P P A A C C P P A A C C

3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 17 Person A “I think you need to go and wash your dirty face” Person B “OK, I will go do it now”. Complimentary Transactions P P A A C C P P A A C C

3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 18 Person A “Nice weather for the time of year.” Person B “Yes, great to have a bit of sun”. Complimentary Transactions P P A A C C P P A A C C

3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 19 Person A “Go wash your dirty face!” Person B “Don’t be rude!” Crossed Transactions P P A A C C P P A A C C This can lead to surprise or confusion. Berne says that when transactions are crossed the conversation stops until one or other of the parties changes ego state.

3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 20 Person A “You’re an idiot!” Person B “No! You’re an idiot!” Crossed Transactions P P A A C C P P A A C C

3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 21 Always react as Adult to Adult.

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Other Communication Perspectives One of the biggest problems for couples is the repeated conflict that promotes a negative mind in each person. New methods of therapy move partners to more positive, comfortable exchanges. Expressing gratitude and sharing appreciation for a partner is the primary means for creating a positive relationship. 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 22

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Intimate Relationship An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity. The term is also sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual relationship. 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 23

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Intimate Relationship Intimacy is a familiar and very close affective connection with another and requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity. As an action (verb) “intimate” means to state or make known. As an idea (noun), an “intimate” is a person with whom we have a particularly close relationship. 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 24

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Intimate Relationship Psychologist Desmond Morris found that most new relationships followed 12 predictable steps on the path to sexual intimacy. The 12 steps he identified (in order) are: Step 1: Eye to BodyStep 2: Eye to Eye Step 3: Voice to VoiceStep 4: Hand to Hand Step 5: Arm to ShoulderStep 6: Arm to Waist Step 7: Mouth to MouthStep 8: Hand to Head Step 9: Hand to BodyStep 10: Mouth to Breast Step 11: Hand to GenitalsStep 12: Sexual Intercourse 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 25

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Intimate Relationship There are two types of love; passionate and companionate. Companionate love is friends. Passionate love is boyfriend or girlfriend. A couple refers to a passionate love relationship between two people who have made a commitment to each other. 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 26

Second Semester 2013 Slide No Intimate Relationship Terms for partners in intimate relationships include: Boyfriend/Girlfriend Confidant Family member Friend Spouse Mistress 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 27

Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 28 Summary Chapter 8 Lecture and Discussion: Relationship Types Factors that Affect Relationships Steps Needed to Ensure Effective Relationships 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 28

Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 29 BREAK! Now, take a 30-minute break and then return to the class to work on your term paper focus. Enjoy! Take a break! 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 29

Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 30 The Team 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 30

Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 31 Handout Review You will now be given a handout with comprehension questions. Use the book and the notes you’ve taken to answer the questions as best as possible. You have 45-minutes to complete the handouts and return them to the instructor at the end of class. 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 31

Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 32 Case Study Review Take 15-minutes to compare your case study summaries with a partner and create a revised idea to present. 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 32

Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 33 HOMEWORK! Go to the copy shop next to the canteen and get a copy of Unit 9: Professional Communication, Groups, and Leadership. Read Unit 9 and complete sections 9.1 Key Vocabulary and Chapter 9 Review: Case Study. 3/16/2015 Dusit Thani College Page 33