Tips & Techniques for ACCEPTABLE Conversations To move forward, backward or to a Contents page, move your cursor over the arrows in the bottom left corner of each page and make a selection. You can also use your space bar (forward); or your PageUp/PageDn keys (backward/forward). “People do not want to be less informed. They want to be more informed with less information!”

Orientation Speaking Styles Four Paths for Communications Table of Contents Click on any colored bullet found on the Content pages to jump to a specific section.

Orientation This material was developed to help you plan for successful face-to-face and telephone business conversations. As you work through the slides, you will gain new insight and skills that will help you improve how you give information to others and how you receive it. Barriers to Communication Focused Communicators Return to main Table of Contents

Barriers to Communication Do you find some people easier to talk to or persuade than others? Have you ever wondered why? Often it is because of external or internal barriers. External barriersInternal barriers Although you can’t control all the barriers, you can use communication tools to help minimize the effects. But before we explore these tools, let’s take a quick look at Sender and Receiver-Focused Communicators. Orientation noise deadlines distractions time pressure corporate culture language pre-conceived ideas individual styles emotions/ego different values poor communication skills personalities

Focused Communicators All communicators have a focus. When communicators are Sender- Focused, they often fail. When they are Receiver-Focused, they have a much greater chance of conveying the message successfully. Sender-FocusedReceiver-Focused Orientation Use “I” a lot Don’t listen well Drive their own agenda Do most of the talking Present information the way they like to receive it Tell you what they want to say Use “you” or “we” a lot Listen actively Agree on an agenda Engage in two-way dialogue Present information the way the receiver likes to receive it Provide the information the receiver needs

Orientation Consider how the behaviors of others influence how you speak or listen. Think of the worst communicators you know. Write down the behaviors they display that make your job: Seven Common Mistakes Communicators Make 1. Speaker focused 2. Unprepared 3. Poor questioning 4. Poor listening 5. Low Impact Style 6. Monotone voice 7. Inappropriate body language Exercise 1. as a listener more difficult 2. as a speaker more difficult

Orientation To be an effective communicator, you need to be Listener-Focused, and skilled at both speaking and listening. How to Help Your Listener 1. Attend to your listener’s needs 2. Organize your message 3. Ask questions skillfully 4. Listen actively 5. Choose high impact words 6. Use your voice and tone to enhance your message 7. Use body language that supports your message

Four Paths for Communications In this section, you will look at how you can meet your listener’s needs by understanding their behavioral style. You will gain tips and techniques to help you identify and communicate with each of the four styles. Return to main Table of Contents Understanding Behavioral Styles Observable Behaviors Specific Likes/Needs of Each Style

Understanding Behavioral Styles Let’s look at the four behavioral styles. Four Paths for Communications AMIABLE (Open & Indirect) Strengths: considerate, helpful, supportive, cooperative, shares responsibility Key Questions: How can we keep harmony? How do we look doing it? ANALYTICAL (Self-contained & Indirect) Strengths: systematic, detail-oriented, cautious, precise, logical, organized Key Questions: Where has it been done before? How does it work? EXPRESSIVE (Open & Direct) Strengths: energetic, intuitive, personable, entertaining, works quickly, creative Key Questions: How much good does it do? For whom? DRIVER (Self-contained & Direct) Strengths: decision-maker, leader, results- oriented, doer, problem solver, driving force Key Questions: What’s the advantage to us? Who is in charge? Open/Responsive Self-Contained/Less Responsive Indirect/ Less Assertive Direct/ Assertive

The Behavioral Styles typology of human behavior is a powerful tool for helping you improve your business conversations. However, in using this tool, you need to keep some points in mind: Four Paths for Communications Each style has a range of potential strengths and weaknesses Weaknesses usually stem from excessive use of strengths No individual is 100% one style; everyone pulls some behaviors from other styles Each person has a dominant style plus one or more back-up styles Each person has a “least preferred” style Each person is more than his/her style. People’s beliefs, values, goals, experiences and relationships modify their behaviors

Now let’s consider how you can recognize each style. Amiable WordsToneBody Language Asks more than states Listens patiently Reserves opinions Uses protective language (maybe, I think, etc.) Avoids argumentative statements Says things are “okay” even when they’re not Tactful not blunt Speaks in an even- tempered manner Uses less forceful tones of expression Speaks at a lower, quieter volume Uses a slow rate of speech Has a steady quality to speech Shakes hands gently Uses less animated facial expressions Makes intermittent eye contact Exhibits patience Uses slow-moving body language Observable Behaviors of Each Style Four Paths for Communications

Expressive WordsToneBody Language Tells stories, anecdotes Shares personal feelings and opinions Uses informal speech patterns Has a flexible time perspective Digresses during conversations Uses lots of inflection Varies pitch of speech Varies vocal quality Uses high-volume, rapid speech Has a dramatic quality to speech Shakes hands firmly Uses animated facial expressions Is contact oriented Tends to act spontaneously Uses many hand and body movements Four Paths for Communications

Analytical WordsToneBody Language Asks precise questions Thinks things through before sharing opinion Presents information logically Uses more written than verbal communication Speaks with little inflection Uses few pitch variations Uses less variety in vocal quality Delivers words in a steady monotone Has low-volume, slower speech Uses few facial expressions Tends to be non- contact oriented Gestures infrequently Moves deliberately Uses slow-moving body language Four Paths for Communications

Driver WordsToneBody Language States versus asks Tells more than listens Relies on verbal, not written, communications Makes strong statements Tends to be blunt and to the point Uses a great deal of vocal variety Speaks in forceful tones Communicates readily Uses high-volume, rapid speech Uses challenging voice intonations Shakes hands firmly Makes steady eye contact Gestures to emphasize points Displays impatience Uses fast-moving body language Four Paths for Communications

Use the chart on the next page to identify the likes and needs of each style. Consider how you can adjust your style to improve the way you give and receive information. Four Paths for Communications We each have a favored behavioral style which impacts our communication style. No style is better than the other, just different. Now that you’ve had a look at the four styles, consider the following questions and write down your responses. Exercise 1.How do you like people to communicate with you? 2.What gets in the way? 3.What style do you consider your own predominant style?

AmiableExpressiveAnalyticalDriver Need to know: How it affects their personal circumstances How it enhances their image How they can justify it logically or how it works What it does, by when and what it costs Act: FriendlyDynamicallyPreciselyRapidly Save them from: ConflictEffortEmbarrassmentTime Like you to be: PleasantStimulatingPreciseTo the point Support their: FeelingsIdeasProceduresGoals Create an environment that is: PersonalEnthusiasticSeriousBusinesslike Maintain a pace that is: Slow and relaxedFast and spontaneousSlow and systematicFast and decisive Put a priority on: Relationship and communication Relationship and interaction Task and processTask and results Use time to: Develop the relationshipEnjoy the interactionEnsure accuracyAct efficiently Write in a way that is: Warm and friendlyInformal and dramaticDetailed and preciseShort and to the point On the telephone be: Warm and pleasant Conversational and playful Businesslike and preciseShort and to the point Specific Likes/Needs of Each Style Four Paths for Communications

Speaking Styles In this section, you will look at the concept of speaking from the center and speaking from the edge. You will explore strategies that make both speaking styles effective. Return to main Table of Contents Looking at Speaking Styles Strategies for Speaking from the Center Strategies for Speaking from the Edge

Looking at Speaking Styles Now that you have explored the behavioral style preferences, let’s look inward at speaking styles. Linguistic researchers have identified two styles of speaking: Speaking Styles 1.Speaking from the Center* (suggests competence, confidence and control) 2.Speaking from the Edge* (suggests approachability, curiosity and inclusion) * Concept adapted from Power Talk by Sarah McGinty.

Both speaking styles can be effective. However, you need to consider which style is most appropriate for your specific situation. (Note: When used to excess, either style becomes ineffective.) On the next two slides, you will find strategies for speaking from the center and speaking from the edge. The strategies and examples will help you identify which style will work best for your situation. Speaking Styles Influencing Problem solving Getting approval Strategic planning Generating ideas

StrategyExamples Directs rather than responds “I need you to…” “We should make a decision on this issue before…” Makes declarative statements “The major indexes will increase by 20% over the next three years.” Draws authority from past experience “When I handled a similar project for the IT Department…” “Studies have shown…” Challenges and debates “You’re wrong about…” “I would argue…” Stays impersonal and unemotional “When people do deals without a legal contract, they usually end up in a legal battle.” Strategies for Speaking from the Center Speaking Styles

StrategyExamples Responds rather than directs “That’s a great idea. I wonder if we could expand on…” Asks questions “What would we have to do to feel that the project was successful?” “How can we convince the Executive Committee to…?” Employs protective strategies “I hate to mention this, but…” “This may be a crazy idea, but…” “I guess I’m being paranoid here…” Avoids argument “I don’t know – you’re probably right – I can live with…” Practices conversation maintenance “As Fred just said…” “It sounds like what you’re saying is…” “Tell me more about…” Strategies for Speaking from the Edge Speaking Styles

By applying the tips and techniques you have learned in this course, you will be well on your way to: Improving how you give information to others and how you receive it. Meeting your listener’s needs. “People do not want to be less informed. They want to be more informed with less information!”