1 Negotiating Leadership: A Better Life through Conflict Jeff Hoffman Mary Kluz February 28, 2013

2 Session purposes and objectives Raise awareness  Self-awareness (skills and assumptions)  Awareness of ways to deal with conflict Provide concepts to help you deal with conflict  Framework for negotiation Develop practical ideas for managing conflict  Time to practice some negotiation skills  Opportunity to learn from colleagues

3 Conflict and Negotiation I’ve been doing it all my life!

Let’s make a deal… 4

5 A Seven Element Framework Interests Options Criteria Communication Relationship Alternatives Commitments If “YES” If “NO” Copyright © 2001 Robert Ricigliano. All rights reserved

6 Relationship Use “people” techniques, like listening, to deal with people Use problem-solving techniques, like identifying interests and options, on substance Attack the problem, not the people Separate the people from the problem/substance people issues emotions trust respect substantive issues money schedules terms and conditions Deal with each on its own merits

7 Communication Facilitate Communication that fosters mutual learning We each have a part of the complete picture in our heads. A learning conversation helps us put the pieces together.

8 Communication Use communication techniques that foster learning  Listen actively  Balance advocacy with inquiry  Explain your reasoning, inquire into theirs  Acknowledge and deal with partisan perceptions

9 Interests Dig for the interests that lie behind the demands. Fears Hopes Needs Concerns People often present their position, favorable to their interests, without giving the feelings or reasoning behind that position.

10 Interests Ask: Why is that? What do you hope for? What would be wrong with…? Are you afraid something will happen? Solicit their advice, “what would you do?” to start the conversation Consider starting with a joint exploration of interests Dig for the interests that lie behind the demands. Fears Hopes Needs Concerns

11 Options Try brainstorming:  No ideas rejected or criticized  No commitments  All ideas are recorded, but NOT who suggested them  Generate as many creative ideas as possible Instead of just one idea… You first want to invent lots of creative ideas to choose from.

12 Criteria Criteria are used to ensure that we are treated fairly, and we are treating others fairly.  Use criteria to persuade – they are the means by which any agreement can be justified to constituents.  Try the test of reciprocity  Use criteria to reconcile conflicting interests  Look for fair standards, precedents, procedures or principles to help resolve disagreements People want to feel they’re being treated fairly.

13 It’s decision time! Alternatives  An option you pursue WITHOUT the agreement of the other party Commitments  An option you pursue WITH the agreement of the other party

14 Alternatives Reality-test their BATNA if you think it is worse than they think Disclose your BATNA if it is better than they think Warn, don’t threaten  “if we don’t reach agreement, then it’s in my best interest to…  VS. “unless you give in, I’ll hurt you by… Know your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement BATNA X

15 Commitments Talk first, decide later  To start, make a joint commitment to the process  Explore interests, options, etc before committing to substance Wise commitments are  Operational, implementable and mutually understood Give the other party a stake in the outcome by including them in the process  Commitment grows by being involved in the who process Make wise commitments at the end of the process

16 A Seven Element Framework Interests Options Criteria Communication Relationship Alternatives Commitments If “YES” If “NO” Copyright © 2001 Robert Ricigliano. All rights reserved

17 Negotiation Review What did your partner do or say that worked well in this negotiation?  (each person share observations with partner) Joint Discussion  What caused us difficulty?  What helped us make progress?  What might we do differently in the future?

18 Follow-up Reflections for Group How did my preparation impact on the negotiation? Insights for future? What hindered or helped establish a working relationship? How did I handle the other 6 elements in the negotiation? Did we achieve a good outcome? How, and how do you know?

19 References Fisher, Roger, William Ury, and Bruce Patton. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. New York, N.Y.: Penguin Books, Stone, Douglas, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. New York, N.Y: Penguin Books, 2000.