Chapter 10 Relationships

The Communication Loop Sending

The Communication Loop Sending Receiving

Effective Listening-- Nonverbal listening Be quiet Maintain eye contact Display openness Listen without response Send acknowledgments

Effective Listening-- Verbal Listening Feed back meaning Listen beyond words Take care of yourself Listen for requests and intentions

Effective Sending The “I’s” have it! Example

Effective Sending The “I’s” have it! Example “You must be crazy.”

The “I’s” have it! Effective Sending “You must be crazy.” instead Example “You must be crazy.” instead

The “I’s” have it! Effective Sending “You must be crazy.” instead Example “You must be crazy.” instead “I don’t understand.”

Questions are not always questions Effective Sending Questions are not always questions Example

Questions are not always questions Effective Sending Questions are not always questions Example “Doesn’t it upset you?”

Questions are not always questions Effective Sending Questions are not always questions Example “Doesn’t it upset you?” means

Questions are not always questions Effective Sending Questions are not always questions Example “Doesn’t it upset you?” means “It upsets me.”

Effective Sending Notice nonverbal messages Notice barriers to sending your message

Five ways to say “I”

Five ways to say “I” Observation

Five ways to say “I” Observation Feelings

Five ways to say “I” Observation Feelings Wants

Five ways to say “I” Observation Feelings Thoughts Wants

Five ways to say “I” Observation Intentions Feelings Thoughts Wants

Conflict resolution in a nutshell State the problem Understand all points Brainstorm solutions Evaluate the solutions Choose the solution Implement Re-evaluate

Emotional pain is not sickness There is nothing wrong with feeling bad . . .

Good ways to feel bad . . . Give yourself permission Don’t worry about reasons Set a time limit Tell others

Relationships can work Do tell the truth Do support others Don’t pry Don’t borrow

Relationships can work (cont.) Do divide chores Don’t gripe Do write a letter Seek out alternative views

Relationships can work (cont.) Ask questions Look for at least three answers Be willing to change your mind Don’t brag

Relationships can work (cont.) Do detach Do allow people to be upset Do ask for help Do share yourself Don’t preach

7 steps to effective complaints Go to the source Present the facts without blaming anyone Go up the ladder to people with more responsibility

7 steps to effective complaints Ask for commitments Use available support Take legal action if necessary Don’t give up

Keep the loop closed . . .

Keep the loop closed . . . Communicate!