HOW TO TURN YOUR IMPULSIVE YES’S INTO CONFIDENT NO’S! By Lynn Mendelsohn

SIGNS YOU’RE A PEOPLE PLEASER  You avoid conflict or disapproval by acquiescing to the wishes of others.  You frequently say “yes” when you mean “no” and vice versa.  You never want to hurt anyone’s feelings even at your own expense.  You would rather your life appear perfect and nice even if you are unhappy.  You only feel loved and accepted when you are pleasing others.  You feel like a “good” person when you please others and a “bad” person when you don’t.  You haven’t defined your own goals and dreams.  You don’t have a “personal operating system” of your own beliefs, values, and integrity.  You have a hard to being authentic or even knowing who the “real” you is.

WHY WE TEND TO SAY YES SO FREQUENTLY  For so many People Pleaser’s YES is a way out of feeling guilt but it often leads to resentment and unhappiness because we can’t stop the impulse!  For many of us YES is so wired into our brains since we want to please everyone, we often forget about the most important person…US!

PRE-STEPS  The first step is to set up your boundaries and establish goals that work for YOU. Write them out so you remember them and try to look at them daily or at least once a week!

A LOOK INTO WAYS TO STOP THE YES SPIRAL  Next time someone asks you a question you’d normally say yes to too quickly, try having a list of your goals in mind and go through if this really helps you reach them.  Also most people will understand if you say you have to think about it and sometimes just delaying yourself from the initial YES will be enough to help you say a CONFIDENT NO.

BE INTUNE WITH YOU  The first step to really being able to say NO more confidently is being INTUNE with your EMOTIONS!  Knowing what makes you feel good and what doesn’t is HUGELY important!  If it doesn’t make you feel good and is going to make you resent them (because we know this happens when we say yes so often) then just don’t do it!

WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET  Once you become more aware of your worthiness, your ability to say NO will be a lot EASIER.  Make up a gratitude Journal that you enter 1-2 entries a day will help change your mindset and make you more aware!

REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT  Repeat after me I am worthy of saying no when I mean NO, and I am worthy of knowing when it should be a YES!  When you truly know your worth it will come a lot easier to say NO when you mean no! <3

HOW WILL THEY REACT?  More often than not, the other person will accept and respect your request. They won’t be disappointed because they respect you as a person.  If they get upset let it go because they probably aren’t getting upset with you, it is with themselves and their expectations!  Plus sometimes it just takes time for them to learn about your and your new found CONFIDENCE!

ASSIGNMENT  Take out a piece of paper and write down a time you said yes but wish you had said no. How did this make you feel, why did you say YES instead of saying no? Lets share!!

MY 8 WEEK PROGRAM  If you have found the information we went over tonight to be useful, check out my 8 week program which will help you truly BREAK those People Pleasing Habits for GOOD! We will work through a system I have developed to help you make out a way to be more YOU and really SHINE Full-Circle! We will develop a blueprint so you aren’t doing it alone! For full details check out: circle-exclusively-for-people-pleasers.htmlwww.lynnmendelsohn.com/shine-full- circle-exclusively-for-people-pleasers.html  Special just for those listening in on this call until Sunday evening 9pm EST! Just $500 for my 8 week Group Coaching program!  We will have a private Facebook group, weekly challenges, weekly calls, and so much more!