Teaching Negotiation For Effective Communication And Conflict Resolution Mardi Winder-Adams Positive Communication Systems
Conflict In A Nutshell 1. Incomplete and inaccurate understanding of the problem or concern leads to incomplete and inaccurate resolutions. 2. The most common cause of conflict is misread minds. 3. All conflict provides the opportunity to improve and increase understanding, creating growth.
Conflicts Within Agencies and Community Groups What issues do you face in this area? What specific skills would you consider important in effective communication? What skills are most lacking in your experience? What types of conflict resolution or communication processes do you currently use?
Designing A Communication Skills/Negotiation Training
1. Defining the Needs Who will attend? What are the skills needed? What level of experience do you anticipate? What are the issues that are likely to be “hot button” topics?
2. Identify the Skills Needed What skills would enhance any future discussions between the groups? Listening skills Summarizing Open Questions Reframing Getting to the interests Speaking to be understood
3. Designing the Program Who should facilitate the training? What should be included in the training? Who should attend? How should people be invited? What qualities make an effective experience? How long should the training be? Where should the training occur?
Interest Based Negotiation Basics All people have some common interests Connecting on the common interests helps to build understanding Agreeing to disagree can occur Increasing understanding through communication leads to more effective and complete solutions
Common Interests C ______________________________ H______________________________ E ______________________________ A______________________________ P ______________________________ B______________________________ F ______________________________ V______________________________
Reframes For Effective Communication Captures the emotion, content and a positive resolution to that particular concern Highly effective in eliminating repetitions and moving the process forward Excellent when working with someone that is angry, upset or emotional as it restates both the emotion and the cognitive components
Reframe Examples 1. What do you mean you know what is best? Just who do you think you are. I have worked here longer than you and I know what is right. You have expressed concern about the form of decision making. You have worked here longer than I have and have an understanding of the process. How would you see what is right for everyone being included?
1. No one ever listens to us anyway, we are just the little guys here. Why bother? 2. Just were did you get these so called “facts” from anyway? They are wrong and I want the true facts brought to light. 3. Everyone knows that the project is a bad idea, we don’t need to know any more details. 4. I have had it with your stories and lies. That’s it, if you can’t tell the truth this is over.
What Reframes Do Promote understanding of common issues or concerns Diffuses the emotional level Eliminates defensive comments Gets to what the person wants rather than doesn’t want. Exposes the CHEAP BFVs to build on
Closed and Open Questions Closed questions for confirmation and clarification Open ended questions for information seeking 20 Question Game - Closed 20 Question Game - Open
Neutral Language Deflects conflict Eliminates blame and accusations Allows more options Respects differences Builds towards common interests Develops recognition Encourages empowerment
Choosing A Trainer In-house or outside trainers Train the trainer programs Personality types Reasons for interest in training Ties to the community Background with the issue Cost Who will they represent?
Tips For A Successful Training 1. Location, location, location Comfort, room style, technology Access 2. Time considerations Day, evening, weekend Two hour max 3. Food and drink – the essential element Pot luck or catered?
Positive Communication Systems Mardi Winder-Adams www. poscs.com