Managing Difficult Emotions at Work Neely R. Conner, LCSW, LSATP, CEAP Carilion Employee Assistance (540) or

Objectives n Participants will review basic tenets of stress. n Participants will discuss current challenges in the workplace that lead to emotions as well as importance of managing those emotions. n Participants will learn basic functions of the brain and operations of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. n Participants will increase self awareness of habits. n Participants will develop an expanded ability to manage thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

A Brief Overview of Stress n A physiological response to a perceived or actual threat. n An applied force. n The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of someone who desperately deserves it.

Stress Equation n Stress = Pressure You You

The Brain Seat of Reason Seat of Emotion The Secretary of the Brain

Thoughts-Feelings-Behaviors Oh My

The Cycle ThoughtsFeelingsBehaviors Consequences Precipitating Event

Thoughts

Our Thoughts are based on our life experience and the beliefs and values we attribute to those experiences.

Thought Habits n Siloed Thinking n Thinkaholism n Dependenthink n Thinklessness n Stinkin’ Thinkin’

Points of Control Managing Thoughts n Thought restructuring (changing distorted thoughts) u Generalizations: All or nothing thinking. u Judging: Shoulda, woulda, coulda. u Assumptions: Jumping to conclusions u Labeling: You’re a __________. I’m just a ____________. u Poor Me u Negativism

Feelings Nervous Sad Overwhelmed Joyous Frustrated Angry Afraid Happy

Points of Control Managing Emotions n Feelings are Feelings u Everyone Has Them u They are Normal u They are Useful n Feelings don’t cause physical harm n Feelings are not thoughts or behaviors

Points of Control Managing Emotions n Acknowledge and Normalize your emotions. n Ask this Question n Use supports to help normalize feelings u Let listeners know what you need ahead of time. What are my feelings telling me?

Behaviors n Action or Non-Action n Internal Physiological Responses n External Observable Responses u Aggressive, Passive, Passive Aggressive

Points of Control Managing Behaviors n Develop your Pause Button n Manage internal responses n Establish a goal and plan n Consider your communication n Implement

Points of Control Managing Behaviors Establish healthy habits Lifestyle Quiz Exercise as little as possible Eat a healthy diet Drink a lot of alcohol Smoke cigarettes Sleep as little as possible Think before you act Engage in really chaotic relationships Always put others before yourself Be flexible and adaptive Reframe positively Jump to conclusions/assumptions Take everything personally Avoid your emotions Attempt to control all aspects of your environment

u When appropriate, can defuse an angry, tense situation. u Helps you get a more balanced perspective on the situation. u Promotes spontaneity. u Be careful as Too much and/or too soon can be damaging. HUMOR