Chap Clark Fuller Seminary Youthworkers Guide to Family Ministry

Many claim it’s getting tougher to work with, much less parent, a kid today…

Cultural and Developmental Context A.History of youth ministry Even in the CHURCH C. The structure of the church B. Philosophy of Discipleship

THE State of the CONTEMPORARY CHURCH LIFE

THE Church’s ministry to families today… Where are we now and why does it matter to “Family Ministry”?

The State of Contemporary Church Life A.Change in child and adolescent development

The State of Postmodern kids: skills needed for successful adulthood

ongoing adult support and guidance offered The State of Postmodern kids:

skills needed adult support The State of Postmodern kids:

“…These two trends have created a serious problem in our country, indeed a crisis.” Dr. James Comer, Yale University Carnegie Corporation’s Commission on Youth Development and Community Programs, 1989 The State of Postmodern kids:

skills needed adult support The State of Postmodern kids:

The State of Contemporary Church Life A.Change in child and adolescent development

Yet one thing is certain…it’s hard to be a kid today

Our preparation starts young…

Part 1: The BACKGROUND Sticky Faith:

The overall process Understanding growing up…

A Brief History of Childhood and Adolescence

Spiritual development cannot be separated from human development When it comes to STICKY FAITH…

The overall process Timing and duration Understanding growing up…

Why this matters… When is someone an “adult”? Understanding growing up…

Timing and Duration PubertyCulture Pre s Today 13 18/20 11/12 mid-20s

Teenage brain “If you think of the teenage brain as a car, today's adolescents acquire an accelerator a long time before they can steer and brake.” - WSJ, What’s wrong with the teenage mind?“ Alison Gopnik, January 28, 2012

The overall process Timing and duration Changing Stages Understanding growing up…

Changing Stages DependentInterdependent s-1990s Independent

Changing Stages DependentInterdependent s-2000s Independent mid-20s

Changing Stages DependentInterdependent mid 2000-Today Independent mid-20s early-30s? Emerging Adulthood J. J. Arnett

The overall process Timing and duration Changing Stages Society’s response to kids Understanding growing up…

ParenTeen: An exponential loss of Social Capital from those who are necessary in the lives of our kids

Social Capital: Robert Putnam (Harvard): Social capital refers to the “connections among individuals, [including the] social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness…it is the idea that social networks matter.”

The loss of Social Capital… Adults used to believe that all kids were their kids Adults used to see their primary role as facilitating children becoming adults Adults once saw kids as assets, not liabilities (they were worth the effort) Adults used to “be there” for kids

How kids have been treated by adults…

The loss of Social Capital… The rapidly increasing reality of “systemic abandonment” Even in the church…

The State of Contemporary Church Life A.Change in child and adolescent development B. The fragmentation of the church

The Fragmentation of the Church Church Y.M. Cultural and Developmental Context

Church Y.M. The Fragmentation of the Church Cultural and Developmental Context

Church Y.M. C.M. M.M. W.M. C.M. F.M. “Church” Cultural and Developmental Context The Fragmentation of the Church

The State of Contemporary Church Life A.Change in child and adolescent development B. The fragmentation of the church C. Contemporary approach to people in the church… Individual discipleship…

Cultural and Developmental Context STRUCTURE of the CHURCH 4 th grader 7 th grader 10 th grader MomStepda d

"If we preach a gospel that neglects the welfare of the whole in exchange for the happiness of the individual, then the Church as a living, pulsing body is weakened as is the welfare of the family. We must recover the priority of interrelationships.” - Dennis Guernsey, A New Design for Family Ministry (99) Church as FAMILY:

DEFINITION: “Christ and kids…that’s youth ministry, Jesus and kids” - Mike Yaconelli, Address at NYWC, 2003 The “Youth Ministry Movement” has a history GOOD: Focused, compelling, prophetic PROBLEM: What does it MEAN?

Safety and Gentleness (1 Th 2:7- 8) “Love one another” (John 15) Family Support and Stability “Do not embitter” (Col 3:21) Social Capital What we’re learning about lifelong faith Comfort, encourage, and urging as a fan (1 Th 2:11-12)

WHERE FROM HERE? We need a ROBUST THEOLOGICALCHURCH-BASED Commitment to ADOPT kids INTO the Body of Christ Commitment to ADOPT kids INTO the Body of Christ

1. Model authentic faith Developing Adolescent Faith 2. Encourage provocative conversation 3. Lead with understand & compassion 4. Comfort, encourage and “be a fan” 5. Introduce them to Jesus (the real Jesus) 6. Talk about, wrestle with justice

“Sticky Faith” Response to HURTing Kids Connecting “self” to “Justice” Kids are taught to recognize… … that they have gifts/talents to make a difference …that they have much to learn from others …that they are a lot like others IN SHORT… grow up believing they have a place in the world

Where from here? 1. Allow kids to be kids 3-stage adolescents desperate to know: –Who they are (Identity) –What gifts they have (autonomy) –They are cherished (belonging) The life-giving need for “Social Capital” The need for developing power and voice

Where from here? 2. Encourage all adults to “own” every kid As pastors and leaders, it is our job to: –Equip other adults to “proactively care” for kids –Ensure that every kid is valued and respected –Help the kid know that they are capable and powerful, and to FLEX their “gifts and callings” Programmatically remind staff that every kid needs to be seen as a viable, valuable member of the body

Where from here? 3. Partnering adults helping kids move toward the kingdom As pastors and leaders, it is our job to: –Make sure adults are taught how to love a student –HOLD adults responsible for encouraging adolescents –ALL PROGRAMS MUST see adoption as the goal

Where from here? Implications for the church… (Or, “Hey, Chap, what does this LOOK LIKE?)” –Share vulnerably, but do not make kids “save” you –Regularly, intentionally expose kids social justice –Start slowly, take “Baby Steps,” BUT DO SOMETHING!

Model a Kingdom Trajectory What we can do…