WRITING BODY PARAGRAPHS

THESIS Everything begins with your thesis ; without a clear thesis, you don’t really know what you are trying to prove. Each body paragraph should effectively prove one aspect of your thesis.

BASIC PATTERN One basic, highly effective pattern for a body paragraph is as follows: Topic sentence. Evidence Analysis Further Evidence Analysis Concluding sentence or transition

FROM THESIS TO TOPIC SENTENCE Let’s say your thesis is: “Some animals should not be kept in captivity.” Why? Because they are too intelligent to be treated in such a way Because they are emotionally sophisticated and captivity can damage them Each of these reasons should be its own paragraph, with evidence and analysis.

TOPIC SENTENCE “Many animals are highly emotional and keeping them in captivity causes them undue stress and suffering.” Clear statement. Now, prove it. Use evidence and explain how it shows that.

EVIDENCE “Many animals are highly emotional and keeping them in captivity causes them undue stress and suffering. In Jeremy Rifkin’s article, “A Change of Heart about Animals,” he offers several examples of animals who experience complex emotions. For example, he cites examples of elephants who mourn their dead. Include the full name and full title the first time you cite a source. All info from that source must be cited, even if it isn’t a direct quote.

REPEAT You could end your paragraph there, or you could do the same thing again if you have time and really want to drive home your point: For further evidence of the emotional sophistication of certain animals, consider the deep grief experienced by the gorilla Koko, when her kitten was taken from her (youtube clip). When she discovered that her kitten, “All Ball”, had been hit by a car, she wept and howled in a way that virtually any human could recognize as sheer anguish. Since these animals experience grief in such personal, intense ways, it stands to reason that other aspects of their emotional lives are likewise sophisticated, in which case keeping them in captivity will inflict deep emotional wounds.

ANALYSIS This should be the bulk of your paragraph. It explains how your evidence proves your topic sentence, which, in turn proves your thesis. In Jeremy Rifkin’s article, “A Change of Heart about Animals,” he offers several examples of animals who experience complex emotions. For example, he cites examples of elephants who mourn their dead. This deeply emotional response sets elephants apart from many other animals. It would be unthinkable to keep a human in captivity (prisons excepted) because of the emotional suffering that isolation and lack of freedom inflict upon them. The emotional sophistication of these animals may even rival that of humans, and if that is the case, then keeping an elephant in captivity against its will is similar to holding a human in captivity, which would undoubtedly cause emotional trauma.

CONCLUDING/TRANSITION Since these animals experience grief in such personal, intense ways, it stands to reason that other aspects of their emotional lives are likewise sophisticated, in which case keeping them in captivity will inflict deep emotional wounds. For these animals, and other similarly emotional animals, captivity is simply unethical. States the gist of the paragraph clearly and simply.

FINISHED PRODUCT (Topic) “Many animals are highly emotional and keeping them in captivity causes them undue stress and suffering. (Evidence)In Jeremy Rifkin’s article, “A Change of Heart about Animals,” he offers several examples of animals who experience complex emotions. For example, he cites examples of elephants who mourn their dead. (Analysis) This deeply emotional response sets elephants apart from many other animals. It would be unthinkable to keep a human in captivity (prisons excepted) because of the emotional suffering that isolation and lack of freedom inflict upon them. The emotional sophistication of these animals may even rival that of humans, and if that is the case, then keeping an elephant in captivity against its will is similar to holding a human in captivity, which would undoubtedly cause emotional trauma. (Evidence)For further evidence of the emotional sophistication of certain animals, consider the deep grief experienced by the gorilla Koko, when her kitten was taken from her (youtube clip). When she discovered that her kitten, “All Ball”, had been hit by a car, she wept and howled in a way that virtually any human could recognize as sheer anguish. (Analysis) Since these animals experience grief in such personal, intense ways, it stands to reason that other aspects of their emotional lives are likewise sophisticated, in which case keeping them in captivity will inflict deep emotional wounds. (Concluding) For these animals, and other similarly emotional animals, captivity is simply unethical. This would be one hell of a body paragraph for a timed write. It is acceptable to use only one source in a body paragraph, especially during a timed write.

REPEAT This pattern can be repeated for each body paragraph: One clear point Evidence Analysis Concluding sentence

TRY IT Using a piece of evidence from the 6 th paragraph on page 14, write a body paragraph that explains one clear reason why people should go to college. Topic sentence (be specific) Evidence, including author, title Explain the significance of the evidence. How does it prove your point? This should take a few sentences. Try to apply it to real life. Concluding sentence.