Copyright © 2009 First Steps Training & Development, Inc. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2008 First Steps Training & Development, Inc. All rights reserved. Conflict Management Part One: Understanding Conflict Presented by: 1

Copyright © 2009 First Steps Training & Development, Inc. All rights reserved. Conflict: Working Definition(s) Difference in approach, interests, and beliefs and/or values coupled with a finite amount of resources... the belief (true or not) that if you get what you want, I won't get what I want... The indication of an unmet need. 2

Relationships Copyright © 2009 First Steps Training & Development, Inc. All rights reserved.

Can be constructive when it... Leads to open dialogue, deeper understanding, and a better "fit" between desires and reality Can be destructive when... It involves accusations and threats One issue snowballs into many What was about self-concern is now about getting even Others get dragged into the dispute Sooner Later 4 Conflict …

5 Copyright © 2009 First Steps Training & Development, Inc. All rights reserved. Conflict is … A fact of life because of human difference

Conflict Strategies COMPETINGCOLLABORATING COMPROMISING AVOIDINGACCOMMODATING Cooperation Assertiveness 6 High Low

7 Copyright © 2009 First Steps Training & Development, Inc. All rights reserved. If the End goal is to have the most positive and productive relationships, the strategy must be Collaboration

Speaking Up Use “I” Statements to communicate what you want Benefit: –Clearer –More direct –Less residue –Increases likelihood of understanding

Examples Instead of: You never have anything to say. You always come to meetings unprepared. Try: I am concerned when you don’t participate because I think you have a lot to contribute. I feel frustrated when you aren’t prepared for the meeting because we need your information.

Cooperation Seek FIRST to understand, then to be understood Active Listening –Relies on the “Listening Check” –Paraphrase of the speaker’s verbal AND emotional content (NOT “parroting”)

Active Listening Re-statement of the speaker’s message Used to verify understanding and communicate care/interest Examples –“Let me make sure I understand...” –“It sounds to me like...” –“If I understand you correctly, you... “

Distinguish Interests From Positions Position – the stance you take; what you want to happen Interest – the desire behind your position; why you want what you want. -- Adapted from Fisher and Ury’s Getting to Yes 1978

13 Copyright © 2009 First Steps Training & Development, Inc. All rights reserved. If the End goal is to have the most positive and productive relationships, the strategy must be Collaboration

Events You Don’t Want to Miss On the radio: –Next week: Call Center Customer Service –Conflict Management, part 2: Conflict Management Process or How to Fight Fair Open Enrollment Trouble Shooting Logic Workshops –February 17-19, 2009 –March 23-25, 2009 Open Enrollment Experiential Expertise T3 –May 27-31, 2009

Copyright © 2009 First Steps Training & Development, Inc. All rights reserved. 15 For more information, or to schedule a workshop, contact: Toll Free: (800) Conflict Management Part 1