מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Peace of mind Life without anger by Joseph Shalev Ph.D.

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute "Attitude is the mind’s paint brush, it can color any situation". Alexander lockhart. + ( )X Attitude = Individual Human Potential InbornAttributesAcquiredAttributes

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute 1.Don’t be too nice Being nice is a form of hostility. Being strong is being loving.

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute 2.Forgive and Forget The Pleasure Pain Principle Pain 0 I Pleasure Yourself first, your parents and everybody else

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Positive emotions Negative emotions Love Passion Enthusiasm Freedom Happiness Joy Hope Romance Fear, Doubt, Envy, Jealousy, Resentment, Guilt, Hatred, Anxiety, Anxiety, Self pity Each one of these can lead to Anger 54

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Thought Emotion Action Brain Operating System We are thinking creatures Why count to 10?

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute 3.Anger = Dis-Ease = Disease “You are not being punished for your anger. You will be punished by your Anger”. Buddha The Punishment: Ulcer, high blood pressure - Hypertension, cholesterol, Heart-attack, Diabetes, Psoriasis Cancer and many many more….. cholesterol, Heart-attack, Diabetes, Psoriasis Cancer and many many more…..

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute 4.Don’t accept the Anger gift Anger is a “gift” that passed on, mainly to your loved ones General Manager Sales Manager Secretary Receptionist Her Son

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute The “Boomerang effect” The “gift” of anger may return to you General Manager An Employee Employee's Son The Son’s Teacher

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute The Law of control (mental Law) control freedomHappiness Responsible Positive Emotions Negative Emotions Irresponsible You feel good about yourself to the degree to which you feel you are in control of your own life

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Locus of control Inner Outer People with low self esteem Blame others for their failures people with high Self-Esteem Irresponsible Responsiblecontrol freedomHappiness The Law of control

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Self Image How you see yourself

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Self Image What kind of professional you are. Skills, abilities and competencies. Jobs and job titles held. How you look like physically. What kind a person you think you are Social skills, academic accomplishments Roles played in life at school, home, work. Goals and aspirations for the future. How you see yourself In your eyes & and in other’s eyes

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute 5.Develop a high Self-Esteem If it’s to be, it’s up to me. How you FEEL about yourself How much you RESPECT yourself How much you LOVE yourself 1.Self-confidence, a sense of security, the experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute A cat with a high Self-Esteem

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Self-Esteem Part II How much you FEEL GOOD about yourself 2.Inner feeling, Belief, that I am worthy of happiness. It is my birthright, to be happy. A sense of security that you deserve happiness and success, that you are a valuable human being. and have the right to enjoy the fruits of your efforts.

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute High self-esteem "The experience of being capable of meeting life's challenges and being worthy of happiness." Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D.

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute  You are unique  You are unique You are special, there is no one else like you on this earth.  Accepts yourself Love yourself first, then love your neighbor. Say To yourself: “I Like Myself, I Like Myself,…..” How to developed high Self-esteem

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute INTROVERTPersonalityEXTROVERTPersonality A person with High Self-Esteem Gets along with everyone Self-esteem and Human Relations Self-Esteem 100 0

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute  Develop other’s self-esteem  Develop other’s self-esteem Give praise, support, Help, Encourage, Motivate, Don’t grudge.  Integrity - Give 100% of yourself  Integrity - Give 100% of yourself at home, at work, with your kids. It develops Character.  Be Brave follow your vision  Be Brave follow your vision Follow your goals and dreams, Do what you believe-in, Don’t scare yourself, don’t be afraid.  Positive thinking, positive mental attitude  Positive thinking, positive mental attitude Instead of a problem see a new challenge. Instead of a problem see a new opportunity. Instead of a problem think of it as a new trial. developed high Self-esteem III

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Worry Doubt Guilt failure Self pity Anxiety Fear Hatred Jealousy Go to a Mediator 6.Don’t Argue The Anger tree A man convinced against his will, he is of the same opinion still.

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Worry Doubt Guilt failure Self pity Anxiety Fear Hatred Jealousy Be Responsible 7.Don’t Blame The Anger tree If you blame, you get stuck in the past. Take responsibility, and you are preparing for a better future.

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Being responsible is Goals Setting If you don’t have Goals of your own, you are doom forever to work for those who do have Goals

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute 8.Avoid Criticism Never ever criticize yourself You are not guilty of anything, Don’t let others make you feel guilty. Don’t criticize others There is no such a thing as “constructive criticism”, It is the most destructive act that lower Self-Esteem start with a praise or compliment 1.Always start with a praise or compliment 2.Talk about the deed, not the person who did it 3.Talk about future consequences, not the past

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute 9.Do not demand, ASK “Ask and you shall receive” John 16:24b

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute 10.Humor A man in a hot air balloon, realized that he got lost. While descending noticed a man standing below. “Excuse me, can you help me. I promised my friend that I will meet him in an hour, but I got lost, I don’t know where am I”.

מכון שלו -יעוץ והדרכה Shalev Institute Humor The man below answered: “You are in a hot air balloon, 1000 feet above ground. You are between degrees Longitude, and between degrees Latitude”. The man in the balloon answered: “ You are for sure an accountant”! “correct”, answered the man below, “how did you know”? “listen” answered the man in the balloon, “everything you have said is technically correct. But, I have no idea what to do with this information, And in fact, I am still lost, practically, you have not helped me at all”. The man below answered: “Then, You are for sure a Manager”. “Correct”, answered the man in the balloon, “how did you know”? “You don’t know where are you, or, where are you going. You got up there because of a lot of hot air, you have promised something you don’t know how to keep, and you are expecting of me, to solve your problems. Practically, your are in the same position you have been, before we met, but somehow, now, it is all my fault.