Cycle of Violence Calm Romantic Phase Escalating Tension Explosive Event Violence Apologies Promises to Do Better UnknownTrigger Acceptance

Psycho-dynamics Victim Experiences: Fear Anxiety Panic Self-doubt Guilt Shame Despair Low self-esteem May feel trapped Variety of health issues Abuser Characteristics: Controlling/Manipulative Need for power Aggressive Obsessive Intimidating Explosive temper Regressive behaviours Borderline personality Sociopathic personality Variety of other psychological issues Any person who abuses another is mentally unwell.

Violence Family violence is widespread and global. It affects: All races All socio-economic classes All ethnic groups All religions All sexual orientations Women and children and men 90+% of victims are women and children % of victims are male One in three women in Canada are likely to experience abuse of some kind from an intimate partner In Ontario, rates of homicide, homicide-suicide have been rising yearly: e.g. 44 murders in 2006 (26 women; 12 children; 6 men) Past five years average 39 per year

Intimate Relationships Let your partner know from the get go that any abusive behaviour will not be tolerated Take lots of time before committing to living together/marrying: get to know your partner’s conflict style Watch for signs of an “external locus of control” Do not hesitate to take action If abuse occurs, get out of the relationship -- “wait and see” attitudes often lead to painful repercussions Do not blame yourself Healthy relationships focus on the elements described in “The Equality Wheel” on non-violence Professor Miskin’s Cardinal Rules