Girlfriends for Christ Abundant Life Christian Center May 11, 2013

 Self-esteem is the way we view and think about ourselves. Beliefs about ourselves are learned in early life experiences from childhood, adolescents, and adulthood.

 What others say (parents, friends, teachers)  Observing others  Facebook or other social media  What we read  What we watch on television  What we listen to

 Poor performance at school  Avoidance of trying something new because of the fear of failure  Avoids social contact  More likelihood of being bullied  Less likely to participate in enjoyable activities  Sadness

 Poor sleep  Decreased/Increased appetite  Little to no energy  Negative attitude  Problems with relationships (ex. friends, family)  Anger  Frustration

 Low self-esteem causes us to pull back our God given talents and pull away from opportunities to glorify Him.  For example, Casey may not invite Ally to church because she fears Ally will say “No” since she is not in the popular crowd. Or, Ashley may not testify as to how God changed her life because she is overweight and feels people with judge her. These are examples of opportunities to glorify God; however, if we have low self-esteem we may miss out on these opportunities.  Low self-esteem is like saying to God, “I don’t believe what you made in me, you can’t use me. You haven’t done a good job with me.”  Would anyone actually say this to God?  Don’t insult God’s creation!

 How can you tell others about how great living for God is if you’re sad, angry, frustrated, tired, and have a poor attitude all the time? (Remember low self-esteem can have this impact.)  If you tell others about God and appear miserable, do you think others would be interested in turning their lives’ over to God?  What do you think they might do instead?

 On a scale from 1-10 (10 being the highest level), what would you rate your self- esteem?  Is your self-esteem level high or low?

 God values EVERY human being.  He loves you just the way you are.  You are important to God.  In Isaiah 43:1-4 God says: “I love you. I redeemed you. I call you by name.” Why? “Because you are precious and honored in my sight.”

 He sent his only son to die on the cross for you….

 “It is better to trust the Lord than to put confidence in people.” Psalm 118:8  God has a plan and a purpose for your life. Don’t waste away time hating yourself!

 The world’s view of beauty and God’s view of beauty are different.  The world views beauty based on one’s outward appearance.  God views beauty based on one’s heart.  1 Samuel 16:7 - "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'

 The MIRROR  Your weight, height, eye color, facial features, etc.  The house you live in.  The type of cell phone you own.  The car your parents drive.  The clothes or shoes you wear.  Having lots of money or no money.  Hanging with the popular crowd.  Having a boyfriend.  The number of friends you have on Facebook.

 Stop comparing yourself to others. God loves you no matter what. This means God loves you regardless of what you have said or done in the past.  Be mindful of what you listen to, read, and watch on television.  Focus on the positives  Do something good for someone else.  Smile and Laugh (scientifically proven to make you feel better)  Do something you are good at…everyone has strengths!

 Love yourself  Hang out with positive peers and other believers. (The Bible says: “As an iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17).  Be a good friend  Love one another

 Take control of your thoughts, don’t let your thoughts control you  Make a list of all your strengths  When you have a negative thought about yourself, replace it with a positive thought.  Practice this daily.  It may feel uncomfortable and unnatural at first, but with practice you will find it gets easier.  After lots of practice, you will begin to believe these thoughts and will feel better about yourself.

 On a piece of paper, write down one negative thing about yourself.  Don’t let anyone else see what you have written.

 Definition of trash- “worthless material”  Negative thoughts hinder our ability to be something great. Negative thoughts are like “worthless material” (aka trash)  What do we do with trash? We throw it away!  After you write down the negative thought, I want you to tear it up, stomp on it, and throw it away.

 On the sticky note, I want you to write one positive statement about yourself.  For example, “I am a good friend.” “I am a good listener.” “I am beautiful.”  Put this on your shirt and wear it proud!  Don’t think about the trash you just threw out. The trash can is where it belongs!

 You are special to God  You are unique and beautiful  You have the power to make a difference  You can be whoever you want to be  You can control your thoughts  Don’t let others define you  Get in agreement with God. Believe what he says about YOU.  Accept God’s definition of BEAUTY  Most importantly, love yourself.