DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE? People often think of domestic violence as physical violence, such as hitting However, domestic violence takes other forms, such as psychological, emotional, or sexual abuse

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE? (CONT’D) Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating Children and friends can also be put into this category

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE? (CONT’D) Many people who are being abused do not see themselves as victims Also, abusers do not see themselves as being abusive

WHO CAN BE A VICTIM? ANYONE CAN BE A VICTIM! Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status Although both men and women can be abused, most victims are women

Who Are The Abusers? There is no 'typical' abuser Anyone can be an abuser Abusers have learned to abuse so that they can get what they want Abuse is not an accident

Who Are The Abusers? (CONT’D) Abusers often have low self-esteem They do not take responsibility for their actions They may even blame the victim for causing the violence Abuse does not happen because someone was stressed-out, drinking, or using drugs

Who Are The Abusers? (CONT’D) In public Appear friendly and loving to their partner and family Behind closed doors Often the only time they abuse Try to hide the abuse by causing injuries that can be hidden and do not need a doctor

WHY DOESN’T THE ABUSED PERSON JUST LEAVE? Fear Of being killed Of the abuser committing suicide Of not being believed about the abuse Of being stalked by the abuser Isolation By the abuser often results in a lack of a support system. (Family, friends, co-workers, etc.) Economic Reality May not possess marketable skills may have limited access/ dread government assistance Due to an abuser's control of money may have no access to cash, checks, or important documents

WHY DOESN’T THE ABUSED PERSON JUST LEAVE? (CONT’D) Childhood Experiences of Living in a Home Where There Was Abuse May leave a victim feeling that abuse is unavoidable That it is okay to abuse people you love when they have done something wrong Beliefs About The Abuser Strong feelings of love and emotional connection The belief that the abuser is all-powerful and will be able to find the victim anywhere May feel that s/he is the only one who can help the abuser overcome problems Beliefs About Themselves Acceptance of responsibility for the problems in a relationship Low self-esteem due to repeated acts of abuse A feeling that abusive behavior is all the victim deserves

WHAT ABOUT CHILDREN IN VIOLENT HOMES? Parents often think that their children do not know about the violence within the home However, most of the time the children are fully aware of the violence within the home! Children in homes where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected

WHAT ABOUT CHILDREN IN VIOLENT HOMES? (CONT’D) Even if a child is not physically harmed, they may have emotional and behavior problems They can feel helpless, scared and upset They may also feel like the violence is their fault They are afraid for their parents and themselves Children feel bad that they cannot stop the abuse Children are harmed just by seeing and hearing the violence!

WHAT ABOUT CHILDREN IN VIOLENT HOMES? (CONT’D) Problems that do not go away on their own, even as the children get older They can have trouble sleeping They can have trouble in school and getting along with others They often feel sad and scared all the time They may grow up feeling bad about themselves It is VERY important if you know of children that live in a violent home for you to report it, immediately!

WHAT SPECIAL CONCERNS CAN VICTIMS OF ABUSE HAVE? If you are a person of color... You may be afraid of prejudice You may be afraid of being blamed for going out of your community for help If you are a lesbian, gay, or transgendered person... You may be afraid of having people know about your sexual orientation If your religion makes it hard to get help... You may feel like you have to stay and not break up the family

WHAT SPECIAL CONCERNS CAN VICTIMS OF ABUSE HAVE? (CONT’D) If you are physically or mentally challenged or elderly... You may depend on your abuser to care for you You may not have other people to help you If you are a male victim of abuse... You may be ashamed and scared that no one will believe you If you are from another country... You may be afraid of being deported

WHAT SPECIAL CONCERNS CAN VICTIMS OF ABUSE HAVE? (CONT’D) If you have a teen... They could be a victim of abuse, or at risk if they are dating someone who: is very jealous and/or spies on them will not let them break off the relationship hurts them in any way, is violent, or brags about hurting other people puts them down or makes them feel bad forces them to have sex or makes them afraid to say no to sex abuses drugs or alcohol; pressures them to use drugs or alcohol has a history of bad relationships and blames it on others

Cycle of Violence Incident Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional) Tension Building Abuser starts to get angry Abuse may begin There is a breakdown of communication Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm Tension becomes too much Victim feels like they are 'walking on egg shells '

Cycle of Violence (CONT’D) Making-Up Abuser may apologize for abuse Abuser may promise it will never happen again Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims Calm Abuser acts like the abuse never happened Physical abuse may not be taking place Promises made during 'making-up' may be met Victim may hope that the abuse is over Abuser may give gifts to victim The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship

What Can I Do To Be Safe? Call the police If you feel you are in danger from your abuser at any time, you can call 911 or your local police Get support from friends and family Tell your supportive family, friends and co- workers what has happened

What Can I Do To Be Safe? (CONT’D) Find a safe place It is not fair You should not have to leave your home because of what your abuser has done, sometimes it is the only way you will be safe There are shelters that can help you move to a different city or state

What Can I Do To Be Safe? (CONT’D) Get medical help If you have been victimized, go to the hospital or your doctor Special medical concerns Sometimes you may not even know you are hurt What seems like a small injury could be a big one If you are pregnant and you were hit in your stomach, tell the doctor Domestic violence victims can be in danger of closed head injuries If any of these things happen after a hit to the head, get medical care right away Memory loss Dizziness Problems with eyesight Throwing-up Headache that will not go away

REPORT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! CALL THE MP’S – (334) IF YOU LIVE OF POST CALL 911 TELL YOUR CHAIN OF COMMAND CALL SOCIAL WORK SERVICES REPORT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!

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