The Unexpected Journey from Loss to Renewed Hope H. Norman Wright Presentation by Stephanie Warner

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief ObservedC.S. LewisA Grief Observed

Grief Emotions – Anger, Depression, Pain, Fear Recovery/Renewal

When have you experienced grief? What was the grief experience like for you? Definition Disorderly process You aren’t alone… Isaiah 53:3

Loss in grief is not only physical, but also loss of presence Secondary Losses Examples Word Association Amputation Longing Apathy Yearning Ache

Job asked…16 times Others asked too: Psalm 10:1 Psalm 13:1-2 Matthew 27:45 No answers Importance of remembering who we are and who God is

“crazy” feelings are actually a sane response Distorted thinking patterns “crazy” or irrational thoughts Fearful thoughts Feelings of despair & hopelessness Out of control or numbed emotions Changes in sensory perception Increased irritability Want to talk a lot or not at all Memory lags Inability to concentrate

Obsessive focus on the loved one Losing track of time Increase or decrease of appetite and/or sexual desire Difficulty falling or staying asleep Dreams in which the deceased exist Nightmares with death themes Physical illness Shattered beliefs about life, the world, and God

Read/memorize scripture as you try to close your eyes Prov. 3:24 Prov. 3:24-26 Psalm 63:6-7 Psalm 94:19 Psalm 4:8

We don’t always need reasons! Reasons do not make the situation better or more comfortable Grief has to happen with no boundaries of time or location What do we need to know about our/others time of suffering? Examples

Why do we go through grief? What is the purpose? Through grief you express your feelings about your loss. Express protest at the loss and a desire to change what happened. Express the effects you have experienced from the impact of the loss. Experience God in a new way that will change your life. (Job 42:5)

Common grieving reaction – feeling of displeasure, irritation, and protest To whom is anger directed? Yourself Doctors Hospital Spouse God Dealing with Anger Examples Break apart anger and evaluate your thoughts Psam 13:1-3, 5-6

Loss and Fear go hand in hand How will we survive? Cripples relationships Imagine the worst Lead to total anxiety and dread Identifying fears Freedom from fears 1 Peter 5:7 Isaiah 26:3 Philippians 4:6-9 Isaiah 41:10

Always a temptation to shut down when painful feelings come - can lead to depression Paralyzing sense of helplessness Passive and resigned Everything seems out of focus Seems to be no way out You feel all alone Changes the way you see God

Christians can be depressed (not always brought on by sin) Evaluating your feelings – 3 questions What is it like when you feel depressed? Right now, what type of weather forecast best describes where you are in the process of dealing with your loss? Where on the scale would you place your current grief process? 4 stages

Make amends “Letting Go” letter Communicate with your grief Help others help you Let God surprise you Journal Farewell Letter

To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.” – Erich Fromm