TOTALLY FORGIVING OURSELVES Talk 4 Youth conference Oct 2012

S UMMARY OF THE T ALK 1) Definitions 2) Why should I have to forgive myself 3) What accepting yourself IS NOT 4) What accepting yourself IS

D EFINITION :  It is accepting God’s forgiveness of all my past sins and failures (after repentance, confession and Eucharist) completely that I equally let myself off the hook for my past as God himself has done. It also means that since I must forgive others totally, I must equally forgive myself totally. ( And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbour as yourself. Matt 22:39). Also, If I am not to judge or condemn others, it follows I should not judge or condemn myself ( after repentance, confession and Eucharist )

F ALSE GUILT = PSEUDO - GUILT  It is a sense of shame in our hearts that God did not put there. Freud, taught that pseudo-guilt is an unconscious need for self- punishment, self-torment or self sabotage

T RUE G UILT  Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. 10 For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. 2 Cor 7:9,10

W HY WE SHOULD FORGIVE ? 1) It is precisely what God wants us to do. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Eph 4:30-32 ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘ You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ” Matt 19:19

2. S ATAN DOES NOT WANT YOU TO FORGIVE YOURSELF  Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, 11 lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices. 2 Cor 2:10,11  Our lack of total forgiveness is an open invitation for the devil to move in

3. Y OU WILL HAVE INNER PEACE AND FREEDOM FROM THE BONDAGE OF GUILT  Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty 2 Cor 3:17

4. T HE DEGREE TO WHICH YOU FORGIVE YOURSELF MAY DIRECTLY RELATES TO YOUR USEFULNESS.  Now therefore, arise, go out and speak comfort to your servants. For I swear by the LORD, if you do not go out, not one will stay with you this night. And that will be worse for you than all the evil that has befallen you from your youth until now. ” 8 Then the king arose and sat in the gate. And they told all the people, saying, “There is the king, sitting in the gate.” So all the people came before the king. For everyone of Israel had fled to his tent. 2 Sam 19:7,8

5. T OTALLY FORGIVING YOURSELF WILL HELP YOU LOVE PEOPLE MORE  ‘ Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘ You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ” Matt 19:19

6. P EOPLE WILL LIKE YOU MORE WHEN YOU HAVE FORGIVEN YOURSELF  A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Prov. 18:24

7. I T WILL ENABLE YOU TO FULFIL ALL WHAT G OD HAS IN MIND FOR YOU AND THUS KEEP YOU FROM BEING PARALYSED BY THE PAST  Peter Denies and wept ( Matt 26:69-75)  Peter Preaching fearless and in confidence (acts 2)

8. I T AFFECT YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH  Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit that is why we need to care about our temples

9. It affects our mental and emotional health 10. It affects our Spiritual state

W HAT ACCEPTING YOURSELF IS NOT 1) It does not mean accepting that you are a finished product as you are now. 2) It does not mean accepting your continued sinning. 3) It is not mean accepting your present spiritual progress as final 4) It is not mean accepting your present knowledge as final 5) It is not meanaccepting your present situation as final

W HAT ACCEPTING YOURSELF IS 1) Accepting your parents. 2) Accepting the hard things you endured as you grew up but also since. 3) Accepting your calling 4) Accepting your intellectual limitations 5) Accepting the truth about your faults 6) Accepting yourself with any illness or disability. 7) Accepting yourself in the light of the mistakes you have made