The Purpose-Filled Single Life: Forgiveness, Hope Dr. Sharon Hart May

The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, & say, “O God, Forgive me,” or “Help me.” Billy Graham

Hope for the Future “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call up me & come & pray to me, & I will listen to you. You will seek me & find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29: 11-14

I Thess. 4:3-8 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified that you should avoid sexual immorality, that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy & honorable, not in passionate lust, like the heathen, who do not know God…The Lord will punish men for all such sins…God did not call us to be impure but to live a holy life.”

Forgiven: God’s Grace to Me We have all fallen short of God’s best Sexually or in other areas False Guilt = I am a mistake at my core, I will never be good enough” Godly Sorrow = be honest with what you have done, give it to God, God will restore our lives, we live with the consequences

Rebuilding of our Brokenness 1. Nehemiah – rebuild the broken walls of our lives 2. Joel 2:1,12,13,25 – “The locusts destroyed everything – nothing like this has every happened…Let all the people who live in the land shake with fear, because the Lord’s day of judging is coming. It is near…Even now, come back to me with all your year..let your heart be broken…I will restore the years the locusts have eaten”

Jer 31:3,4 The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving kindness. I will build you up again, and you will be rebuilt.”

God Forgives, Washes Clean God doesn’t want us to hide, keep from Him “I messed up, teach me more about how to have an inside-out perspective of sexuality. Give me courage to live as a Soul-Virgin.”

Lam. 3:19-25 abrev. I remember my affliction & my wandering, the bitterness & the gall. I well remember them, & my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind & therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning great is your faithfulness! I say to myself. “The Lord is my portion therefore I will wait for Him” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.

Disappointment Regret Resentfulness Failure

GOD IS NOT IN THE SUCCESS BUSINESS God is in the REFINING business: Job 23:10 “But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I WILL COME FORTH AS GOLD”. (Ps. 66:10) God is MORE interested in what we are becoming, than in what we are achieving. You cannot get around this to rationalize your other failures!

Purpose of Pain in a Purpose-Filled Life God only values faithfulness Its ALL about our heart. It must be predicated on FAITHFULNESS, nothing else (“well done thou good and FAITHFUL servant” – Mt. 25:21) Define ‘successful’ life ONLY in terms of eternity, NOT temporal Purpose-filled life understands heart-ache, failure

Success in a Purposeful Life God ALWAYS takes into account the WHOLE picture Unless we are ALSO successful in our relationships, in raising our kids, in being a servant, in controlling your temper, lust and ego needs, no amount of success is going to count with God.

GRIEVING YOUR LOSSES All disappointment is ultimately a form of loss, and God has designed us with an important grieving mechanism ALL LOSSES MUST BE GRIEVED, NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE Evangelicals lack a “Theology of grief” outside of bereavement. Need a clear understanding of how to deal with loss.

REACTIVE DEPRESSION The cyclic nature of emotion The purposeful nature of reactive depression (withdrawal for grieving) The “perception” of loss The “Ideal” depression response Short-circuiting of the depressive response The accumulation of perceived losses The “compounding” of ungrieved losses

Grief “rules” 1. The greater the loss the deeper the depression 2. The deeper the depression the longer it takes to resolve it 3. The more we “allow” or “give in” to the depression the faster it resolves 4. Resolution comes when we fully understand the loss, and let it go (Say goodbye, reorganize life around loss)

Jer 31:3,4 The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving kindness. I will build you up again, and you will be rebuilt.”