Etiquette Lunch Presented by: Dr. Keegan N. Nichols

Why Manners Matter General Social and Dining Etiquette Rules The formal table setting Serving Food, Passing Dishes Table Manners Eating Tipping “Good manners have much to do with emotions. To make them ring true, one must feel them, not merely exhibit them.” Amy Vanderbilt. Agenda 2

3 Video “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot…”Clarence Thomas

“Manners are kindness. And people respond to kindness.” Audrey Hepburn Why Manners Matter 4

When meeting someone… – rise if you are seated – smile and extend your hand – repeat the other person’s name in your greeting Name Tag should be placed on the right hand side of your front shoulder area. “Don’t tell your friends about your indigestion. ‘How are you?’ is a greeting, not a question.” Arthur Guiterman General Etiquette Rules: Greeting 5

General Etiquette Rules: Seating 6 Keep up-to-date on current events in your industry Tables are for food and utensils Turn off your cell phone “Respect for ourselves guides our morals/ respect for others guides our manners.” Lawerence Sterne

General Etiquette Rules: Seating 7 Keep elbows off the table. Keep your left hand in your lap unless you are using it. Guests should do their best to mingle and make light conversation with everyone. Talk about cheerful, pleasant things at the table. “Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” Eric Hoffer

8

Silverware should not touch the tablecloth once used. Place knife at the top of the dinner plate, facing in, after use. Do not "play with" your food or utensils. 9 General Etiquette Rules: Utensils Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were. ~Author Unknown

10 General Etiquette Rules: Using Utensils

Pass food from the left to the right. If another diner asks for the salt or pepper, pass both together, even if a table mate asks for only one of them. 11 General Etiquette Rules: Passing Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. ~Author Unknown

Set any passed item directly on the table instead of passing hand-to-hand. Never intercept a pass. Snagging a roll out of the breadbasket or taking a shake of salt when it is en route to someone else is a no-no. Always use serving utensils to serve yourself, not your personal silverware. Butter, spreads, or dips should be transferred from the serving dish to your plate before spreading or eating. 12 General Etiquette Rules: Passing Courtesies cannot be borrowed like snow shovels; you must have some of your own. ~John Wanamaker

Do NOT talk with food in your mouth ! Loud eating noises such as slurping and burping are very impolite. Always taste your food before seasoning it. Always scoop food, using the proper utensil, away from you. 13 General Etiquette Rules: Eating

Cut only enough food for the next mouthful (cut no more than two bites of food at a time). Don't make an issue if you don't like something or can't eat it – keep silent. Break your bread into small bites and then butter it. 14 General Etiquette Rules: Eating Continued

When you are finished eating do not push your plate away from you. When dining with others, everyone should start and finish at the same time. To signal that your are done with the course, rest your fork, tines up, and knife blade in, with the handles resting at five o'clock and tips pointing to ten o'clock on your plate 15 General Etiquette Rules: Finished Eating Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential. Will Cuppy

Sit straight and try not to lean on the table. Don't clean up spills with your own napkin. Say "Excuse me," or "I'll be right back," before leaving the table. Do not say that you are going to the restroom. Whenever a woman leaves the table or returns to sit, all men seated with her should stand up. 16 General Etiquette Rules: General Tips "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." - Mark Twain

Be discrete if you have problem with the food. Remove food the same way it went in-on silverware. Excuse yourself, if you have to leave the table. Turn your head from the table when you cough or sneeze. If someone uses your bread plate; Do not use the bread plate on your right as a replacement. 17 General Etiquette Rules: Common Problems

Practice what you have learned and discuss with your group about the learned material. Tipping and dinner party etiquette when we return. Write your questions. Nothing is less important than which fork you use. Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces everything. It is ethics. It is honor. Emily Post 18 Time to Practice

At a restaurant, always leave a tip. Tips can vary from 15% to 25%. – Waiter: 15% to 20% of the bill; 25% for extraordinary service – Wine steward: 15% of wine bill – Bartender: 10% to 15% of bar bill – Coat check: $1.00 per coat – Car attendant: $2.00 to $5.00 Buffets Cafes and coffeehouses – 10 to 15 percent to the countertop tip jar. 19 Tipping

Dress Code: Follow whatever dress code is requested on the invitation or suggested by the host/hostess. Arrival: Arrive at least 10 minutes early Hostess Gift: It is proper to bring a small hostess gift, one that the hostess is not obliged to use that evening. 20 General Etiquette Rules: Dinner Party

Seating: At a dinner party, wait until the host or hostess sits down before taking your seat. If the host/hostess asks you to sit, then do. Thank You Note: After a formal dinner party, a thank you note should be sent to the hostess. Depending on how well you know your hosts, a telephone call is also acceptable. 21 General Etiquette Rules: Dinner Party “A little "thank you" that you will say to someone for a "little favour" shown to you is a key to unlock the doors that hide unseen "greater favours". Learn to say "thank you" and why not?” –Israelmore Ayivor

Keegan N. Nichols, Ed.D. Assistant Vice President for Student Affairs Fort Hays State University Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you’re a hermit on a mountain, you don’t have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you’ve got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities. Judith Martin 22 Questions