The Art of Loving

Philippians 1:9-10 – And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ. There is a love that is full of knowledge and depth of insight. “Smart love” discerns what is best, pure & blameless If there is “smart love”, there must be “dumb love”

Marriage and divorce in the United States (as of 2000) Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 55: Percentage of first marriages that end in divorce: Percentage of remarriages that end in divorce: Number of children in new divorces each year: 95% 50% 60% 900,000+

Broken homes, broken hearts Divorce contributes to as many as 3 in 4 teen suicides 80% of adoclescents in psychiatric hospitals come from broken homes Chilidren of divorces are much more likely to drop out of school, to have premarital sex and to become pregnant outside of marriage than those in intact families Young adults from divorced families are twice as likely to have poor relationships with parents and show high levels of emotional distress as kids in intact families Parents’ remarriage does not protect their children against behavioral and other problems

God’s Design for Human Relationships ► Genesis 1 – God created…  An orderly, reflective, process culminating in the creation of man ► Gen 1:26 – Then God said, “Let us make man in our image”  Created with a “fee will” (right/responsibility for moral choice)  Granted an authority to rule  Created as relational beings (with a proclivity for love) ► 1 John 1:16 “God is love” (love calls for plurality)  The Triunal, relational, God ► Gen 2:7 – The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being ► Gen 2:18 – “It is not good for man to be alone”  We have a deep need for intimate relationships  But what is intimacy?

Genesis 2:18, The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone… so the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was asleep, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” God’s plan for human intimacy

Some reflections… ► What is “intimacy”? How would you describe it? ► What is the environment we need to achieve intimacy? (or what kinds of obstacles hinder human intimacy?) ► What is the relationship between sexuality and intimacy?

A Biblical Perspective on Marriage ► Mark 10: But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. ► John 2:1-11 The wedding at Cana ► Proverbs 5:15 – Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well…let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers…may you rejoice in the wife of your youth…may you ever be captivated by her love. ► Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. ► Romans 7: …by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. It is instituted by God A joyous occasion Exclusive To be honored by all Meant for life

Love, American Style… ► A great deal of moral illiteracy ► Sexuality vs. intimacy ► Promiscuity vs. freedom ► Romance vs. love

A Biblical perspective on Love ► What is love? Is it realistic for one person to promise to love another for a lifetime? ► 1 John 3:16 – This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. ► Another definition: Love is a commitment to extend oneself for the benefit of another

A Biblical perspective on Love 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

A Biblical perspective on Love 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Principles for a Blessed Marriage ► A commitment to fidelity ► A commitment to affirm ► A commitment to communicate ► A commitment to resolve conflicts ► A commitment to honor

Why is it so hard to live a life of love?

Genesis 3:6-10 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.”

Genesis 3:11-14, 21 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” The man said, “The woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me and I ate it.” The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.