1 The Changing Role of Parents: Challenges & Opportunities During Postsecondary Transition October 4, 2006 – ETS, Princeton, NJ Presented by Sheldon H. Horowitz, Ed.D., Director of Professional Services, National Center for Learning Disabilities and Penny Dragonetti, Director of Education & Training, Family Support Center of NJ

2 Parental Role in Special Education Pre-transition  Decision maker/ Team member  Source of information  Source of support  Advocate for student  Teacher of self- advocacy skills

3 Parental Role in Special Education During Transition – Challenges & Opportunities  Passing the gauntlet  Letting go with love  Encouraging independence  Allowing your child to fail  LISTENING

4 Passing the Baton  Get ready to let go!  One step at a time…  Families need: Encouragement Strategies  Build collaborative relationships with families EARLY  Capitalize on those relationships in transition

5 WANTED! AUTHORITATIVE RESEARCH-BASED DATA ON SUCCESSFUL TRANSITION TO POSTSECONDARY SCHOOL AND WORK SETTINGS FOR ADOLESCENTS AND ADULTS WITH LD  Information must apply to all postsecondary students, regardless of location, graduation status, prior school experience, parental expectations and sociocultural factors.  Data must address issues including but not limited to: academic achievement, work-related competencies and family involvement.

6 What REALLY matters is… Curfew, having sex, respect, forgetting things, judgment, worrying, drugs, mood swings, temper, sexual identity, grades and homework, eating, clothes, driving, money, demands and expectations, things that are annoying, not getting caught, being left alone, quirky interests, getting something stuck in your head, war, betraying a friend, ‘step family’ issues, birthdays, getting caught, music, movies, college stuff, computers and TV, being in control, hanging out with older kids, alcohol, not having sex, living at home, cigarettes, piercings and tattoos, falling in love, my room, My Space, sports, pornography, underwear, privacy, laundry, getting a job, weight control, working out, suicide, religion, my baby blanket.

7 Emotions of Adolescence

8 Who’s on First? STUDENTPARENTTEACHERADMINISTRATORSUPPORTOTHER NEEDS EXPECTATIONS FEARS ROLES SKILLS OUTCOMES

9 Letting Go with Love “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find you’ll get what you need” (Rolling Stones, Let It Bleed album, 1969 )  Peer identity and support  Ways to cope with stress  Meaningful models and immediate resources

10 Encouraging Independence Research says….  “Know thy LD”  Don’t wait… anticipate!  A menu of options

11 Allowing for Failure  Defining opportunities  Making choices (taking risks)  Using ‘repair strategies’

12 LISTEN!!!!  Listening is a hard thing to do.  What we say is not always what we mean!

13 Thank You! Sheldon H. Horowitz, Ed.D. Director of Professional Services National Center for Learning Disabilities NCLD Web site: Penny Dragonetti Director of Education and Training Family Support Center of New Jersey FSCNJ Web site: