Reading Body Language Non verbal communication, or body language

“First Impressions” “A picture is worth a thousand words.” “A picture is worth a thousand words.” The picture “you” create will have great influence. Most impressions are formed within the first 7 seconds of meeting someone. Early judgment is based strictly on appearance. Furthermore, studies reveal that employers consistently ask the question, “does the individual look right for the job?”

“Psychology Today” 7% is conveyed by words 7% is conveyed by words 38% by vocal tones 38% by vocal tones 55% by facial and body expression 55% by facial and body expression Reading body language is an important skill!

First Impressions Positive gestures create impressions.

“Acceptance” Hand to chest Hand to chest Open arms and hands Open arms and hands Touching gestures Touching gestures Moving closer, one to another Moving closer, one to another Preening Preening

“Confidence” Steepling Steepling Hand behind back authority position Hand behind back authority position Back stiffened Back stiffened Hands in coat pockets with thumbs out Hands in coat pockets with thumbs out Hands on lapels of coat Hands on lapels of coat

“Expectancy” Rubbing palms Rubbing palms Jingling money openly Jingling money openly Crossed fingers Crossed fingers Moving closer Moving closer

Cooperation, readiness, openness Open hands Open hands Hands on hips Hands on hips Sitting on edge of chair Sitting on edge of chair Arms spread, gripping edge of table or desk Arms spread, gripping edge of table or desk Moving closer Moving closer Hand to face gestures Hand to face gestures

“Evaluation” Head tilted Head tilted Stroking chin Stroking chin Peering over glasses Peering over glasses Taking glasses off and, and cleaning Taking glasses off and, and cleaning Putting eye glass ear piece in mouth Putting eye glass ear piece in mouth Getting up from table and walking around Getting up from table and walking around Putting hand to bridge of nose Putting hand to bridge of nose

“Reassurance” Touching Touching Chewing pen or pencil Chewing pen or pencil Rubbing over thumb Rubbing over thumb Hands in pockets Hands in pockets

Key Factors/Favorable First Impressions

“Your Appearance” Good personal hygiene Good personal hygiene Tasteful clothing Tasteful clothing Clean, sharp, and ironed Clean, sharp, and ironed Coordinated Coordinated Limited accessories Limited accessories

“Eye Contact” Steady Steady Relaxed Relaxed About 5 seconds About 5 seconds

“Your Smile” Relaxed and sincere Relaxed and sincere Slightly open Slightly open Use all facial muscles Use all facial muscles

“Eyes” Communicate more than any other part of the human anatomy. Staring or gazing can create pressure and tension. Maintained eye contact can show if a person is trustworthy, sincere or caring. Communicate more than any other part of the human anatomy. Staring or gazing can create pressure and tension. Maintained eye contact can show if a person is trustworthy, sincere or caring.

“Your handshake” Dry Dry Firm Firm Maintain eye contact Maintain eye contact

“What to Avoid” Playing with your hair Playing with your hair Crossing your arms Crossing your arms Fidgeting, foot tapping Fidgeting, foot tapping Touching your face Touching your face

“The Secret Language of Success” David Lewis, author and psychologist

It only takes a few seconds to make lasting first impressions.

“Manage your impression” Practice good posture Practice good posture Shape up Shape up Demonstrate self-control Demonstrate self-control Banish negative thoughts Banish negative thoughts Be conscious of your body language Be conscious of your body language (look alert, interested, pleasant) (look alert, interested, pleasant)

Non-Verbal Behavior Let’s observe…… What “impression” do you formulate?

A brisk, erect walk?

The answer? Confidence!

Sitting with legs crossed, foot kicking slightly?

The answer? Boredom!

Arms crossed on chest?

The answer? Defensiveness

Walking with hands in pockets, shoulders hunched

The answer? Dejection

Touching, slightly rubbing nose?

The answer? Rejection, doubt, lying

Hands clasped behind back?

The answer? Anger, frustration, apprehension

Rubbing hands? The answer…… Anticipation

Sitting with hands clasped behind head?

The answer? Confidence, superiority

Tapping or drumming fingers?

The answer? Impatience

Tilted head?

The answer? Interest!

Social Skills Work on vocal cues, space, and gestures. When you interact socially you develop listening and observation skills. Work on vocal cues, space, and gestures. When you interact socially you develop listening and observation skills. This is a great opportunity to practice “first impressions” and good body language. This is a great opportunity to practice “first impressions” and good body language.

If you want to win someone over a good rule of thumb is to mirror his or her body language.

Communication Begins with a First Impression

Every relationship whether personal or business starts with a first impression. Remember, the right body language and conversation takes just seconds to set the stage for a winning impression.

What do YOU see? Dogs communicate with nearly every part of their bodies. Can you read these dogs' body language? Look at eyes, ears, lips, posture, etc.

What do YOU see? Did you know that a nose lick is a "calming signal" or appeasement gesture?

READING DOG BODY LANGUAGE This dog is under extreme stress. Looking to handler for reassurance. Ears back and down, pinned flat against neck. Wide open mouth, lips drawn back, rapid respiration. Center of gravity forward, shoulders lowered, hunched forward. Tail tucked, tension in haunches, probably trembling. How to greet this dog: Stand sideways, using calming signals - yawn, deep sigh, pick at the floor (imitates sniffing) will help her relax and feel safer. Avoid stroking and cooing "it's ok, it's alright." Excess adrenalin results in suppressed appetite; the dog will be able to take food when her stress level comes down.

Calming signals, appeasement Body curved in C-shape Head lowered and turned away, nose down Ears lowered but relaxed Tenseness over eyebrows Eyes squinted but soft, blinking Lips soft Nose, lip lick Body weight shifted, paw probably raised

Avoidance - aggressive response likely if approached too quickly or cornered. Dog is in C-shape, looking away, but head is lifted slightly, pupils dilated in a frozen stare, watching with peripheral vision. Center of gravity is toward oncoming"threat" Ears back and lowered, tail low. Lips are forward and in tense line. Tenseness over muzzle, whiskers erect. Tenseness in the haunches.

"La-la-la-la I don't see you." Note: this dog is not looking to a person for reassurance, he's looking at the wall - trying to be invisible. Nose up, ears back. Whale eye stare. Lips drawn back. (fear) Flight would be his first choice, but he is cornered by being on leash and against a wall.

.. Beware the cornered dog. Always leave an escape route! Beware the cornered dog. Always leave an escape route!

Relaxed, confident and well-socialized. Lips, ears, facial muscles, eyes are relaxed, respiration normal. For more information on body language and calming signals, Turrid Rugaas' Calming Signals booklet and video, available through Dogwise! Dogwise

This handout may be reprinted in its entirety for distribution free of charge and with full credit given: CAROL A. BYRNES "DIAMONDS IN THE RUFF" Training for Dogs & Their People - hotmail.com -

For more information contact Colleen Pate, Career Development Coordinator Angela Jeffrey, Academically and Intellectually Gifted Coordinator (Pender County Schools)