Building Rapport Ron Finklestein Business Growth Experience Sales Rainmaker Program Copyright © 2012 RPF GROUP INC and The Business Growth Experience

Building Rapport Language Pacing Matching Mirroring Indications of Rapport Favored Representational Systems Using What You Learned

Language Verbal 7% Tonality (how you sound) 38% Physiology (How you look) 55%

Verbal (7%) Predicates – to proclaim; declare; affirm; assert. – to affirm or assert (something) – to connote; imply Key Words – a word that serves as a key, as to the meaning of another word, a sentence, passage, or the like Common Experiences (stories) Content Chunks (communication style)

Tonality (38%) Tone (pitch) – a particular quality, way of sounding, modulation, or intonation of the voice as expressive of some meaning, feeling, spirit, etc. Tempo (Speed) Timbre (quality) – the characteristic quality of a sound, independent of pitch and loudness, from which its source or manner of production can be inferred. Volume (loudness)

Physiology Posture Gestures Facial Expressions Blinking Breathing

Pacing How fast the move How fast they talk

Matching Their Actions (sit, hold pencil, hold cup, etc) The way they dress (tie, causal, business casual)

Mirroring Same a matching – Except …

Indications of Rapport Kinesthetic - Internal Feeling (feeling of warmth, usually along the midline of the torso (aka butterflies) Visual - Color Shift (Might be a change in color in both people usually from the neck up.) Auditory – Word they use: “Do I know you?”, “Have we met before?”, “I feel like we have know each other for years!” Leading – Rapport is state of responsiveness (both people responding to each other)

Exercise

Favored Representational Systems Visual (see images) Auditory (hear discussions) Kinesthetic (feeling things in the body) Auditory Digital (combines all three Styles)

Favored Representational Systems Visual (see images) – Sit & Stand with Head & Body Erect – Breath from top of the lungs – Move their eye up – Well organized – Well groomed – Memorize by seeing picture – Noise does not both them – Have trouble remembering verbal instruction – Interested in how your product or service look to them – Appearance is very important to them

Favored Representational Systems Auditory (hear discussions) – Move eye side to side – Breath from the middle of the chest – Talk to themselves (some will even move their lips) – Easily distracted by noise – Learn by listening – Like music and talking on the phone – Repeat conversation back to you easily – Memorize by steps – Like to be told how they are doing – Respond to tone of voice or set of words – Interested in what you “have to say.”

Favored Representational Systems Kinesthetic (feeling things in the body) – Breath from bottom of their lungs – Move & talk very slow – Like physical rewards and touching – Stand closer to people than visual people – Memorize by doing (walking though) – It needs to feel right

Favored Representational Systems Auditory Digital (combines all three Styles) – Spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves – Does product or service make sense

Predicate Word – Visual See Look View Appear Show Dawn Envision Clear Foggy Focused

Predicate Word – Auditory Hear Listen Sounds Make music I am all ears Be heard Deaf

Predicate Word – Kinesthetic Feel Touch Grasp Get hold of Sit through Catch on Tap into Hard Concrete Get a handle

Predicate Word – Auditory Digital Sense Experience Understand Think Learn Motivate Consider Change Perceive Know Insensitive

How Do You Build Rapport Use the words they use Match and mirror (Tonality, Speed, Pitch) Test for rapport (Leading)