Interpersonal Communication also called Dyadic communication between two people the relationship stage of communication What is interpersonal communication?

Discussions about communication Characteristics Discussions about communication Content Dimension Relational Dimension Face to Face Mediated Context: quantity Quality: Impersonal or interpersonal Metacommunication Messages Quality Channel

Types of Interpersonal Relationship Acquaintances Romantic Relationships Work Relationships Family Relationships Friendships

Why do we build relationships with one person over another? Proximity Similarity Complementary = opposites attract Social Exchange (rewards-costs=outcome) Appearance Competence Prefer talented but flawed Exception: Hi or low self-esteem person wants perfect person Reciprocal attraction Other person likes you

How Do Relationships Develop?

Theories of Relational Development _Knapps’s Developmental Model Maintenance Initiating Experimenting Intensifying Integrating Bonding Differentiating Circumscribing Stagnating Avoiding Terminating Forward or Backward Quickly or Slowly May Stabilize Coming Together Coming Apart

Dialectical Model Competing goals (dialectical tensions) Connection vs Autonomy Openness vs Privacy Predictability vs Novelty

How do we build better and deeper relationships? Intimacy Self-Disclosure

Intimacy Physical Intellectual Emotional Shared Activities touching, hugging, holding hands Intellectual Discussing issues of shared inerests and importance Emotional Sharing feelings Shared Activities Doing things together

GENDER and Intimacy

Gender Impacts Intimacy Styles Females Self-disclose Reveal feelings Share (-) and (+) Sex is a way to express intimacy Males Do things together Do things for you to show caring Sex is a way to create (build) intimacy

Culture Impacts Intimacy Styles Rebekah Nathan My Freshmen Year Collectivistic Cultures Japan More in-group vs outsiders Individualistic Cultures USA Cocktail Party Conversationalists

Self-Disclosure: deliberately revealing personal and significant information about oneself that would otherwise be unknown

Social Penetration Model and Self-Disclosure Breadth: # of topics discussed Depth: shift from non-revealing messages to personal messages The greater the depth and breadth the more intimate the relationship.

Johari’s Window Model of Self-disclosure Comprised of four quadrants: Open, Blind, Hidden and Unknown. Quadrants become smaller or larger based on the amount of communication and self-disclosure in a relationship. Generally the larger the open area, the more intimate the relationship.

What is appropriate self-disclosure? Is the other person important to you? Is the amount and type of disclosure appropriate? Is the disclosure relevant? Is the disclosure reciprocated? Will it be constructive? Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?

What is trust? What causes you to lose trust in someone? -To believe that someone is honest and means no harm The Free Dictionary

What can you do if you don’t want to self-disclose? Equivocate Hint (face-saving) Lie

Lying Dating couples lie in about 1/3 of relationships College students tell their mothers lies in 50% of conversations. Average = 3 lies for every 10 minutes of conversation Many lies are altruistic lies or “white lies”