LIKING & LOVING RUBIN (70) put forward: The love scale which measures: 1. Desire to help the other person 2. Dependent needs of the other person 3. Feelings of exclusiveness and absorption The liking scale which measures: 1. Respect for the other person’s abilities 2. Similarity in attitudes However, STERNBERG & GRAJEK (84) found that the liking and loving scales are highly correlated, suggesting they do not discriminate well between the two e.g. Scores for a lover = Scores for a best friend = Scores for one’s mother = Scores for one’s father = +0.81

ROMANTIC & COMPANIONATE LOVE BERSCHEID & WALSTER (78) developed Rubin’s work to form a distinction between: Companionate love – liking that involves more depth of feeling and involvement. Romantic Love - develops over time through mutual rewards, familiarity, positive emotions Passionate love - based on intense emotions, which become diluted over time.

THE LOVE QUIZ HAZAN & SHAVER (87) argue the reason adults experience different kinds of love is because of attachment experiences as infants. Devised LOVE QUIZ (questionnaire to assess style of love and attachment type), printed in the ‘Rocky Mountain News’. Found a consistent relationship between attachment ‘type’ and adult style of love: Securely attached Love experiences are happy, friendly, trusting. Accepts partner’s faults. Enduring. Resistant Love is obsession. Desires reciprocation, emotional highs and lows. Extreme sexual attraction and jealousy. Worried partners might abandon them. Avoidant Fear intimacy, emotional highs and lows, Jealousy. Believe do not need love to be happy.

STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR THEORY STERNBERG (86) argued types of love are determined by 3 points of a triangle: Liking/ friendship Intimacy Romantic Intimacy + Passion Companionate Intimacy + Commitment EmptyCommitment Fatuous Commitment + Passion InfatuatedPassion Consummate Commitment + Passion + Intimacy Passion Intimacy Commitment Combinations of the 3 points lead to different types of love. The most ideal type is consummate, but its difficult to achieve. rg/wiki/Triangular_th eory_of_love

Triangular Theory of Love  Intimacy: Feelings of closeness, being connected and bonded in a loving relationship.  Passion: That which drives us to romance and physical attraction, sexual consummation.  Commitment/Decision: Being in love with someone else in the short term & the commitment to maintain that love in the long term.

Evaluation   - Problems arise when one person feels romantic love for a person, whilst they only feel companionate love  - Theories of love remain very objective – they only describe love, but not actually explain it, may be impossible to test scientifically  - Different theories/studies – no consensus over a definitive explanation, if at all one?  - Ignores cultural differences – Is there a universalistic view of love?  - Provide nomothetic views – yet there are individual + cultural differences.  - Contemporary relevance – can’t explain homosexual or electronic relationships

Cultural exposure Physiological Arousal Appropriate Love Object Romantic Love THREE FACTOR THEORY OF LOVE HATFIELD & WALSTER (81) argued all emotional experiences are the outcome of: (1) being in a state of emotional arousal (2) providing an appropriate label for the arousal.

But does love even exist? SSSSociobiological theories would suggest that we only mate for survival. TTTTask: Fill in the sheet to include sociobiological ideas as well as these ideas. You will need to look back in your notes on attraction.