Attraction & Close Relationships: Lecture #10 topics The initial attraction familiarity, physical attraction, mate selection Close relationships types of relationships, types of love (bleh)
The initial attraction BUILDING FAMILIARITY the _______ effect we’re more likely to befriend, date, & marry people who live close to us the _______ _______ effect the more often we’re exposed to something, the more _______ we evaluate it occurs with novel stimuli (e.g., foreign words, faces)
The initial attraction PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS The Dove Campaign for Beauty
The initial attraction PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS we’re biased toward the beautiful: attractive students are perceived to be smarter & more likely to succeed in school Texan judges give lower fines to attractive criminals beautiful people get paid higher wages
The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?
The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?
The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?
The initial attraction IS BEAUTY OBJECTIVE? high _______ _______ on ratings of attractiveness: universally, men prefer “_______” physique in women; women prefer _______ men with “_______” shape _______ is beautiful: _______ faces are attractive because they’re _______ we seek facial _______ (sign of fitness & fertility)
The initial attraction Shannen Doherty: An example of facial symmetry Shannen, digitally enhanced The real Shannen
The initial attraction
IS BEAUTY OBJECTIVE? babies prefer _______ faces: stare _______ at faces rated by adults as being attractive
The initial attraction IS BEAUTY SUBJECTIVE? _______ _______ in body adornment: scarification, piercing, tooth filing, tattooing are not practised universally we have different _______ body sizes: where food is scarce, _______ women are more attractive beauty _______ change over time: models today are _______ than before
The initial attraction Marilyn Monroe, (5’5”) Eva Herzigova, (5’11”)
The initial attraction IS BEAUTY SUBJECTIVE? judgments of beauty change with the _______ : people become more beautiful if we _______ them men see their wives as _______ attractive after viewing _______ models we feel less attractive after viewing models
The initial attraction WHY ARE WE BLINDED BY BEAUTY? beautiful people are _______ pleasing ______________ stereotype the belief that attractive people also have other _______ qualities attractive people do have more friends & better social skills but don’t score higher on _______ tests of intelligence, personality, or self-esteem
The initial attraction we like others who like us: _______ when someone likes us, we’ll tend to like them back sometimes, we like people more if we have to _______ their affection we like people who are “ _______ ”: social _______ e.g., “The Rules”: men are more charmed by hard-to- get women
The initial attraction _______ when your parents forbid you to date Bill, you _______ your freedom to date who you want consequence: you want to date Bill even more
The initial attraction MATE SELECTION Buss (2003): women seek _______, _______ stable men women are _______ in # of offspring they can have; thus, they seek men with _______ to support their offspring men seek _______, _______, _______ women although sperm is cheap, men are restricted by their ability to attract fertile partners & to ensure _______ of offspring
The initial attraction Marriage #1 Age difference: 3 years Marriage #2 Age difference: 17 years Marriage #3 Age difference: 28 years
Close relationships ATTACHMENT STYLES _______ attached babies _______ when Mom leaves; _______ when she returns _______ attached babies _______ : cry when Mom leaves; mad when she returns _______ : no reaction when Mom leaves/ returns _______ attachment styles influence our _______ romantic attachment styles
Close relationships I find it relatively easy to get close to others & am comfortable depending on them & having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about getting abandoned/ about someone getting to close to me. % of populationAttachment StyleDescription
Close relationships I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely & to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, & often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. % of populationAttachment StyleDescription
Close relationships I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me/ won’t want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, & this desire sometimes scares people away. % of populationAttachment StyleDescription
Close relationships ANXIOUSAVOIDANTSECURE
Close relationships LEE (1988): Different love styles _______ love styles _______ (erotic love) _______ (game-playing, uncommitted love) _______ (friendship love) _______ love styles _______ (demanding, possessive love) _______ (practical love) _______ (other-oriented, altruistic love)
Close relationships STERNBERG (1986): Triangular theory of love 3 components to love: _______ _______ component; liking & feelings of closeness _______ _______ component; attraction, romance, sexual desire _______ _______ component; decision to commit to long- term partner
Close relationships CONSUMMATE LOVE (intimacy + passion + commitment) INTIMACY Liking (intimacy alone) PASSION Infatuation (passion alone) Empty Love (commitment alone) COMMITMENT Romantic Love (intimacy + passion) Companionate Love (intimacy + commitment) Fatuous Love (passion + commitment)
Close relationships HATFIELD (1988) _______ love: intensely _______ ; complete absorption in one’s partner according to Schachter’s ______________, passionate love requires: _______ arousal belief that _______ triggered this arousal e.g., Dutton & Aron’s (1974) “Capilano bridge” study
Close relationships HATFIELD (1988) companionate love: less intense more _______ _______, longer lasting built on _______, caring, & long-term _______ _______ over time