Attraction & Close Relationships: Lecture #10 topics  The initial attraction  familiarity, physical attraction, mate selection  Close relationships  types of relationships, types of love (bleh)

The initial attraction BUILDING FAMILIARITY  the _______ effect  we’re more likely to befriend, date, & marry people who live close to us  the _______ _______ effect  the more often we’re exposed to something, the more _______ we evaluate it  occurs with novel stimuli (e.g., foreign words, faces)

The initial attraction PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS The Dove Campaign for Beauty

The initial attraction PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS  we’re biased toward the beautiful:  attractive students are perceived to be smarter & more likely to succeed in school  Texan judges give lower fines to attractive criminals  beautiful people get paid higher wages

The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?

The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?

The initial attraction WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?

The initial attraction IS BEAUTY OBJECTIVE?  high _______ _______ on ratings of attractiveness:  universally, men prefer “_______” physique in women; women prefer _______ men with “_______” shape  _______ is beautiful:  _______ faces are attractive because they’re _______  we seek facial _______ (sign of fitness & fertility)

The initial attraction Shannen Doherty: An example of facial symmetry Shannen, digitally enhanced The real Shannen

The initial attraction

IS BEAUTY OBJECTIVE?  babies prefer _______ faces:  stare _______ at faces rated by adults as being attractive

The initial attraction IS BEAUTY SUBJECTIVE?  _______ _______ in body adornment:  scarification, piercing, tooth filing, tattooing are not practised universally  we have different _______ body sizes:  where food is scarce, _______ women are more attractive  beauty _______ change over time:  models today are _______ than before

The initial attraction Marilyn Monroe, (5’5”) Eva Herzigova, (5’11”)

The initial attraction IS BEAUTY SUBJECTIVE?  judgments of beauty change with the _______ :  people become more beautiful if we _______ them  men see their wives as _______ attractive after viewing _______ models  we feel less attractive after viewing models

The initial attraction WHY ARE WE BLINDED BY BEAUTY?  beautiful people are _______ pleasing  ______________ stereotype  the belief that attractive people also have other _______ qualities  attractive people do have more friends & better social skills but don’t score higher on _______ tests of intelligence, personality, or self-esteem

The initial attraction we like others who like us:  _______  when someone likes us, we’ll tend to like them back  sometimes, we like people more if we have to _______ their affection we like people who are “ _______ ”:  social _______  e.g., “The Rules”: men are more charmed by hard-to- get women

The initial attraction _______  when your parents forbid you to date Bill, you _______ your freedom to date who you want  consequence: you want to date Bill even more

The initial attraction MATE SELECTION Buss (2003):  women seek _______, _______ stable men  women are _______ in # of offspring they can have; thus, they seek men with _______ to support their offspring  men seek _______, _______, _______ women  although sperm is cheap, men are restricted by their ability to attract fertile partners & to ensure _______ of offspring

The initial attraction Marriage #1 Age difference: 3 years Marriage #2 Age difference: 17 years Marriage #3 Age difference: 28 years

Close relationships ATTACHMENT STYLES  _______ attached babies  _______ when Mom leaves; _______ when she returns  _______ attached babies  _______ : cry when Mom leaves; mad when she returns  _______ : no reaction when Mom leaves/ returns  _______ attachment styles influence our _______ romantic attachment styles

Close relationships I find it relatively easy to get close to others & am comfortable depending on them & having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about getting abandoned/ about someone getting to close to me. % of populationAttachment StyleDescription

Close relationships I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely & to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, & often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. % of populationAttachment StyleDescription

Close relationships I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me/ won’t want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, & this desire sometimes scares people away. % of populationAttachment StyleDescription

Close relationships ANXIOUSAVOIDANTSECURE

Close relationships LEE (1988): Different love styles  _______ love styles  _______ (erotic love)  _______ (game-playing, uncommitted love)  _______ (friendship love)  _______ love styles  _______ (demanding, possessive love)  _______ (practical love)  _______ (other-oriented, altruistic love)

Close relationships STERNBERG (1986): Triangular theory of love 3 components to love:  _______  _______ component; liking & feelings of closeness  _______  _______ component; attraction, romance, sexual desire  _______  _______ component; decision to commit to long- term partner

Close relationships CONSUMMATE LOVE (intimacy + passion + commitment) INTIMACY Liking (intimacy alone) PASSION Infatuation (passion alone) Empty Love (commitment alone) COMMITMENT Romantic Love (intimacy + passion) Companionate Love (intimacy + commitment) Fatuous Love (passion + commitment)

Close relationships HATFIELD (1988) _______ love:  intensely _______ ; complete absorption in one’s partner  according to Schachter’s ______________, passionate love requires:  _______ arousal  belief that _______ triggered this arousal  e.g., Dutton & Aron’s (1974) “Capilano bridge” study

Close relationships HATFIELD (1988) companionate love:  less intense  more _______  _______, longer lasting  built on _______, caring, & long-term _______  _______ over time