Intimate Relationships and Aspects of Love

What is the difference between LOVE and INFATUATION?

IMPORTANCE OF LOVE: Our culture is obsessed with Love! What are some examples you can think of? LOVE: Essential to life Binds us as partner, parents, friends Creates bonds that enable us to endure hardship Gives us meaning

COMMON WAYS TO DESCRIBE LOVE: Trust Caring Honesty Friendship Respect Concern for the other’s well being Loyalty Commitment Acceptance Supportiveness Wanting to be with the other Interest in the other

Intimate Relationships *** All intimate relationships have one thing in common: They include at least SOME of the 15 Aspects of Love we are about to discuss! ***

1. Intellectual Intimacy There is a high level of understanding when together When together you can talk about anything and everything

2. Emotional Intimacy You feel at peace with this person and they make you feel good Just being in his or her presence makes you feel better

3. Social Intimacy You would seek out this person because you are proud to be with them and they make you feel good You know he or she will not betray you in front of others or alone

4. Recreational Intimacy You have fun with this person, even when you are not doing anything particularly exciting You enjoy doing many of the same things, both alone and together

5. Conflict Resolution Intimacy You are not afraid to disagree with this person (nicely!) You know you can work though any problems that you may have because it is worth it!

6. Affection You like to hug, kiss and be affectionate with this person This involves sexual feelings

7. Cohesion You feel a sense of contentment with him or her When problems occur (not enough money to pay bills, problems raising kids) you want to stay and work it out no matter what it takes!

8. Identity You are neither “too good” for each other, or “not good enough” You can be yourself without any false pretences You are able to keep your own identity while still having an intimate relationship- you do not spend all your free time with this person

9. Compatibility You enjoy the same kinds of activities You tend to like the same friends Your personalities compleiment each other’s You “get” each other

10. Autonomy You can be yourself around this person You feel like an independent human being, and you are able to balance your relationship with other aspects of your life This person allows you space and “your own life” without feelings of mistrust or guilt

11. Expressiveness You say what you want to say You can express anything and be accepted and not judged When you talk to this person, he or she does not use body language or words to put you down You can enjoy silence without feeling uncomfortable

12. Self- Disclosure You can tell this person a secret knowing he or she will not tell You can talk with this person about issues important to you and your well-being and know that they have your best interest at heart

13. Empathy They understand how you feel and they support you when you are feeling down They try to make you feel better if you are having a bad day and share your joy if you are having a good one

14. Mutuality They feel the same way you do about them You feel that you have similar goals and “dreams” for the future

15. Trust You do not fear this person in any way You know he or she is on your side You truly believe his person has your best interest at heart and he or she would not hurt you.

What Else do you think? What other aspects of relationships are important? What aspects have you found important in your own relationships?