Reward Theory of Attraction Most good relationships can be seen as an exchange of benefits Reward theory of attraction (Aronson, 2004): We like people best who give us maximum rewards at minimum cost 4 powerful sources of reward that predict interpersonal attraction: Proximity, similarity, self-disclosure, physical attractiveness

Proximity “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” or “Out of sight, out of mind”? Principle of proximity (nearness): when two individuals are equally attractive, you are more likely to become friends with the nearest one Why? The rewards are equal, but the the cost is less in time and convenience Increased contact often increases people’s liking for each other

Similarity The similarity principle: people are attracted to people who are most similar to themselves If two people discover that they have the same tastes in lots of things, they have just exchanged compliments that reward each other for their tastes and attitudes! So…opposites do not attract!

Self-Disclosure Good friends and lovers share intimate details about themselves The more we share, the more attached we become It takes time to reach this, as self-disclosure usually comes after a sense of trust has been established

Physical Attractiveness Is beauty only skin deep? Good looks are a social asset Ex: potential employers, children rating What people say and do are often two different things Men seem to be slightly more influenced by looks than women Disadvantages to being a “hottie” include being seen as more vain and materialistic and cold if they are good looking and shy

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love Love can have 3 components: Passion, intimacy, commitment Various forms of love are combinations of the 3 components

Types of Love Suggested By Sternberg Romantic Love: high on passion and intimacy but low on commitment Liking and Friendship: intimacy but not passion and commitment Infatuation: high on passion, not yet developed intimacy or commitment Complete Love: involves all 3: passion, intimacy, commitment

Your Task: Identify at least one song that you think characterizes each type of love as identified by Sternberg: Romantic love Liking and Friendship Infatuation Complete Love