© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 2 Welcome

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 3 Common People Challenges WHAT’S MOST VEXING FOR YOU? 1. Make a compelling case 2. Gain the agreement of diverse stakeholders 3. Say “no” to a customer 4. Recover from mistakes 5. Transition to a new customer

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 4 Goals for Today AT THE END OF THIS PRESENTATION YOU WILL: 1. Know the four essential elements of trustworthiness 2. Understand the “secret weapon” of influence 3. Appreciate the paradox of trust and be able to put it to work

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 5 Building Blocks

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 6 The Trust Equation WHAT DO YOU LEAD WITH? C + R + I SC + R + I S C + R + I SC + R + I S T trustworthiness C credibility R reliability I intimacy S self-orientation T trustworthiness C credibility R reliability I intimacy S self-orientation T =

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 7 Big “S”/Little “S” IT’S A QUESTION OF FOCUS Rush to solution Make a bad 1 st deal “Hoard” Be really curious Create true win-win Do the right thing Listen without distraction Talk, talk, talk RESULTS NEEDS LOW “S” HIGH “S” Avoid confrontation Compete for attention Speak a hard truth Give them credit

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 8 The Trust Equation WHAT DO YOU LEAD WITH? C + R + I SC + R + I S C + R + I SC + R + I S T trustworthiness C credibility R reliability I intimacy S self-orientation T trustworthiness C credibility R reliability I intimacy S self-orientation T =

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 9 How We Think People Think IT’S A QUESTION OF FOCUS Facts Logic Truth

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 10 Cialdini on Influence THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERSUASION A primary driver of influence is … reciprocity

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 11 Gottman on Long-Term Partnership THE IMPORTANCE OF EMPATHY “Understanding must precede advice.” “You have to let your partner know that you fully understand and empathize … before you suggest a solution.”

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 12 What Empathy Sounds Like “That’s a tough spot to be in.” “Sounds like we haven’t done a good job making our case.” “I’m very sorry to hear that. I’m sure that’s frustrating, to say the least.” “I don’t see value in that.” “We’re just not sure which way to go.” “I’m disappointed by your team’s results.”

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 13 Three-Level Listening PUTTING IT INTO PRACTICE In pairs: Person A shares a project challenge Person B plays consultant/listener 3-minute role-play: Person A—Share Person B—DO NOT solve the problem! 1-minute debrief: What was your experience? Switch roles and repeat

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved TRUST AND INFLUENCE: What Every Successful PM Needs to Know © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 14 Thomas Friedman on Listening “People often ask me how I, an American Jew, have been able to operate in the Arab/Muslim world for 20 years, and my answer to them is always the same. The secret is to be a good listener …” “ … It's not just what you hear by listening that is important. It is what you say by listening that is important...” “ … Never underestimate how much people just want to feel that they have been heard; once you have given them that chance, they will hear you.”

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 15 Key Takeaways 1.Make a compelling case 2.Gain the agreement of diverse stakeholders 3. Say “no” to a customer 4.Recover from mistakes 5.Transition to a new customer

© Trusted Advisor Associates LLC, 2009 all rights reserved © Trusted Advisor Associates LLC. All rights reserved. 16 WITH OUR COMPLIMENTS The Goodie Bag