Healthy Relationships “They’re not just for people ‘in love’”

What different types of relationships are there? With a partner or group of three, brainstorm all the different relationships that you are in. What can we come up with as a class?

What benefits do relationships bring? Now that we have seen all the different relationships that we are a part of let us look at the positive aspects of these relationships. What do you get out of being in these relationships?

What makes a relationship healthy? Mutual Respect Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is and understands — and would never challenge — the other person's boundaries. Trust Jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. Honesty Being open and truthful with others is a key to having healthy relationships

Support Fairness/Equality Good communication Being there for each other through good and bad times Fairness/Equality You need to have give-and-take in your relationship Good communication Often the biggest key to a healthy relationship is being able to communicate It’s important is to ask if you're not sure what someone means, and to speak honestly and openly

Unhealthy relationships What could be some signs of an unhealthy relationship? How do you feel when you are a part of an unhealthy relationship? Make a list on your paper with one column describing how you feel in a healthy relationship and one column describing how you feel in an unhealthy relationship. We will come back to this again later…

Good vs. Bad Communication On a piece of paper, create a list of qualities that allow someone to communicate well in one column and qualities that prevent someone from communicating well in another column. How many of those qualities are verbal? Non-verbal?

Role Playing Scenarios You will be put in groups and given a card that has a unique role-playing scenario described for you. Your task is to come up with a short skit that focuses on the problem that is given and come up with a solution that will help promote or maintain a future healthy relationship You will be acting this out for the class to observe

Follow-up What skills were used to deal with the relationship? What level of commitment is involved in this relationship? Can you suggest other ways the characters may have handled this situation? What were your feelings as you watched this role-play?

More than just friends…

Dating What is a “dating relationship?” Dating usually means that two people are spending time together in a close relationship. These relationships can be complex, and usually develop over time and may consist of friendship, romantic love, and/or intimacy involving sexual activity Do you ever feel pressure to date? What are some sources of this pressure?

Dating expectations There are many male and female stereotypes around dating. Anonymously write on a piece of paper what you think are some expectations that males and females may have about dating. On your piece of paper only identify yourself as male or female. You can turn these slips of paper in at the front of the class.

Safe Dating What does “safe dating” mean to you? Some tips to promote safe dating: Dating should be fun and provide you with an opportunity to get to know the other person. It is important to share decisions around where you will go and what you might do on that date. If it is your first time together you may want to go out with another couple or in a group. Stay in places where other people are around. Be aware of the effects of substance use and the risk of sexual activity as a result

More tips! Know your limits around sexual activity. Being clear about your limits makes it easier to express them to a date and to stick by them. It is important to discuss issues such as abstaining from sexual activity before you find yourself in a sexual situation. Be honest with your date and use assertive communication strategies. If you no longer want to date the other person explain why clearly and simply.

Unhealthy and Abusive Relationships You have been given one or two cards with a statement about a relationship Place these cards on the board under either HEALTHY or UNHEALTHY Let’s discuss why we placed these cards where we did

Unhealthy and Abusive Relationships What makes an unhealthy relationship? Why may it be hard for someone to acknowledge that they are in an unhealthy relationship? Why do people sometimes stay in unhealthy relationships? If someone is in an unhealthy relationship what can he/she do about it?

Identifying an Abusive Relationship

Case Study In groups of two or three, go through the case study that you have been given looking at Jen and Mark’s relationship. You will have 10 minutes to answer the questions and then you may need to share some of your responses with the class

Different types of abuse What could be some examples of these different types of abuse? Brainstorm with a partner. Physical Emotional Psychological Sexual

Warning Signs What could be some signs that a person may be experiencing a violent/abusive relationship? Mood or personality changes. Emotional outbursts or over-reacting to things that see small or unimportant Physical injuries like bruises, sores, scratches or broken bones-especially if the injuries do not match the story they tell you. Withdrawing from friends or family. Difficulty making decisions. Sudden changes in clothes or makeup. Sudden changes in mood or personality (e.g. becoming anxious or depressed, acting out, and being secretive). Failing grades or dropping out of school activities. Changes in eating or sleeping habits, avoiding eye contact.

Keeping a secret What are some reasons teens do not tell their parents or friends about violence? Embarrassed, ashamed, stupid, worthless Alone and afraid of getting hurt Convinced it’s their fault Scared of getting in trouble Parents or friends will blame them or will be disappointed. Confused- they may think this is how people show love.

Final thoughts… Nobody deserves to be abused. Abuse is not a sign of love or affection and builds fear, not love. If you are being abused find someone you trust to talk to. Talk to your partner and explain that you are going to leave if the abuse does not stop. Trust your instincts. If your friend is being abused, talk it out by being a good listener and offering your support. Tell your friend that nobody deserves to be abused. Be patient; it can take time for your friend to make changes.