Healthy Relationships Objectives: To understand components of a healthy relationship State what is important to YOU in a relationship – values and opinions Articulate concrete ways to improve upon negative situations and improve relationships.

Relationships

When I am with someone else I need to feel: ________________. A relationship is a bond or connection you have with other people.

Evaluating a Relationship Activity The purpose of this activity is to heighten awareness of what constitutes a good relationship and to help you learn how to evaluate your own relationships. Use this worksheet to evaluate any type of relationship including a romantic relationship, friendship, or family relationship. Think of a relationship, past or present, that is important to you and use this worksheet to evaluate that relationship.

Scoring Your Worksheet One point for each “yes” response to questions 2, 3, 4, 6, 9, 11, 12, 13 and 14. One point for each “no” response to questions 1, 5, 7, 8 and 10.

What does the score mean? 1-3: There are few constructive elements in this relationship. You may want to think about your reasons for continuing the relationship, or work toward improving it. 4-6: This relationship has problems that might be resolved by working on honesty and communication. 7-10: There is the basis for a good relationship. Focus on the positive elements and work on improving the destructive ones. 10-14: You're doing well and have what it takes to build a successful and satisfying relationship.

Traits of a healthy relationship Mutual respect Caring Honesty Commitment

Three C’s of healthy relationships Communication Cooperation Compromise

Codependent Relationships Codependency – making the relationship more important to you than you are to yourself Trying to make the relationship work with someone else who’s not trying Behaviors of codependent people: Low self esteem Fixers People pleasers Fear abandonment

Relationships Healthful Harmful Promotes mutual respect, productivity, and health (physical, emotional, mental and social) Free of violence, harmful behaviors, and drug use Harmful Harms self respect, interferes with productivity and health (physical, emotional, mental, and social) Includes violence and/or drug abuse, harmful behaviors

Harmful Relationship Profiles People Pleaser Seeks approval Does anything to be liked Acts like a “doormat” The Enabler Supports harmful behavior of others Makes excuses for behavior of others Takes over other peoples responsibilities

Harmful Relationship Profiles The Clinger Needy and dependent Chases and clings Suffocates others The Fixer Fixes other peoples problems Quick to give advice Takes over other peoples responsibilities

Harmful Relationship Profiles The Distancer Emotionally unavailable Avoids sharing feelings Keeps people at an arms length away The Controller Possessive, jealous, and domineering Does not respect the will of others Demands one way The Center Self centered Talks but does not listen Ignores the needs of others

Harmful Relationship Profiles The Abuser Abusive Puts down others Threatens and harms others The Liar Does not tell the truth Builds relationships on lies Manipulates others into responses they want The Promise Breaker Unreliable Makes plans and cancels them Agrees to change behavior and does not do so