Through Her Eyes Tina Vredenburg NYIT Fall 2006 Susan Silverman Midterm Project

Family My closest friends are my brothers. I cannot imagine disliking my family. Our roots run deep in this family, from Big Ma’s stories of our grandfather to Papa hiring Mr. Morrison to take care of us while he’s away. I guess the reason I have a hard time understanding Jeremy not liking his siblings is because how much our family means to each of us. We would not, cannot, be what we are without each other. “Lonely?” I asked. “With all them brothers and sisters you got?” Jeremy frowned. “The little ones, they too young to play with, and the older ones…Lillian Jean and R.W. and Melvin, I guess I don’t like them very much.” “What you saying?” asked Stacey. “You can’t not like your own sister and brothers.” (page 196-7)

“I ain’t never had no children of my own. I think sometimes if I had, I’d’ve wanted a son and daughter just like you and Mr. Logan…and grandbabies like these babies of yours…”- Mr. Morrison (p. 226)

The Land I think I have heard the phrase “We won’t lose the land” my entire life. I may not help pay the taxes on this land that my grandfather worked so hard to buy, but I sure know that it doesn’t matter what Logan name is on the deed, it will always be Logan land. We grow our own food and do not have to share it with anyone like the Grangers. This land is our roots. Our family stories, heritage, hard work, pride and courage all stem from this land. “If you remember nothing else in your whole life, Cassie girl, remember this: We ain’t never gonna lose this land. You believe that?” “ Yessir, Papa.” (page 152) “Y’all got it better’n most the folks ‘round here ‘cause y’all gots your own place and y’all ain’t gotta cowtail to a lot of this stuff.”-Mr. Turner (p.100)

“They’s blood is in this land,” -Big Ma (page 94) “Papa never divided the land in his mind; it was simply Logan land.”- Papa (p.7)

Injustice My whole life has been spent wondering why white folks think they are so much better than black folks. Why do the whites give us the textbooks they deem to soiled and torn? Why do we walk miles in the rain only to be chased down by the public school bus? Why does Big Ma have to park so far back at the market no one knows she’s there?

“All I can say, Cassie girl…is that it shouldn’t be.” -Papa page 275 What Was Jim Crow?

Self-Respect Mama and Papa taught us many things, including self- respect. I remember watching Mama continue teaching a lesson on slavery even though she was being observed by two men who prospered from slavery. I can remember Little Man refusing to accept the book the whites considered should be ours because it was too dirty and soiled for them. Thank goodness Mama understood and covered the books for us all. Uncle Hammer may not always be in control of his temper, but even he has self- respect. He respects himself and his family enough to sell his car when we really needed the money. If he hadn’t sold that car he loved so much, a car he bought because it was exactly the same as a white man’s, we surely would have lost the land.

Racism I always knew Negro people weren’t treated an equal to whites, but in our family, we never once thought of ourselves as inferior. We had to hold our tongues and tempers, especially Uncle Hammer. We weren’t silent just out of fear, but because the consequences of an irrational act could cost lives. That was a not a chance we were willing to take. We endured the name calling, the dirty looks, being waited on last, segregated schools. We saw first hand how the law is on the white man’s side. Bless any Negro in trouble with the law, a fair trial will never happen. The list goes on and on as to what we endured. No matter what we were called or how we were treated, we still knew the truth in our hearts.

“I ain’t nobody’s little nigger!” -Cassie page 110

“It’s…it’s them again. They’s ridin’ t’night.”- Mr. Avery (p.60) “You big black nigger”- K. Wallace (p.224) “Ain’t no need to waste good time and money trying’ no thievin’ nigger”-(p.254) “I got me three new ropes!”-K. Wallace (p. 255) “It happened and you have to accept the fact that in the world outside this house, things are not always as we would have them be.”- Mama (p.126)

“Everybody born on this earth is something and nobody, no matter what color, is better than anybody else.”- Mama (p.127) Central High School Arkansas, 1957

Coming of Age The year I was nine years old was the year I began to grow up. I found myself in situations that opened my eyes as to how the world really was outside safety of our home. I witnessed injustice words cannot express. I saw how unfair the world really was to minorities. Not only did I watch my family and neighbors suffer humiliation, but I became its victim. That year will always signify the end of one chapter and the beginning of another in my life.

“I cried for T.J. For T.J. and the land.” -Cassie (p.276)