Friending Stress Introduction to Research ID th April, 2013

How heavy is this?

Demystifying this Fellow! Stress

Demystifying this Fellow! Just to stress you Definitions of stress.. “The adverse reaction people have to excessive pressure or other types of demands placed on them.” (Health and Safety Executive) “Stress is not necessarily something bad – it all depends on how you take it. The stress of exhilarating, creative successful work is beneficial, while that of failure, humiliation or infection is detrimental.” (Selye, 1956) “Stress is a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize.” (Lazarus, )

So what is…??? The greatest obstacle between you and happiness is stress. Comes from the way we relate/react to events or situations.

Need to befriend this Fellow! Anger/Frustration/ Depression / Boredom Sleeplessness Fatigue / Burnout Lack of Appetite / Binging Indigestion / Diarrhea Personality Disorders (diffidence, anxiety, worry, loneliness, moodiness, indecisiveness) Obesity / Weight Loss Alcochol/ Smoking Computer Games / Internet Memory LossSuicidal Tendencies Reduced Productivity BP, Ulcer, Migraine

Here I come….. Does my perception affect me?

The Window

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hang the wash outside..

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.. “That laundry is not very clean. She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap”, she said.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments..

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: Look! She has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this..

The husband said: I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows! The husband said: I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!.

And so it is with life: What we see when watching others, depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge...

“ we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.”

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The true man sees what the eye sees, and does not add to it something that is not there. He hears what the ears hear, and does not detect undertones or overtones. He is not busy with hidden meanings…

Here I come….. The stimuli Ticket waiting list, traffic jam, queues, ATM, tatkal Exam results, Job Family: Household chores, Illness to near/dear ones Academics: Time pressure, deadlines, ‘show results’ syndrome

Understanding the Root Cause What are your beliefs? Helpful or limiting? Readiness to change? Realistic vs. Unrealistic change Stress Audit- Routine or Specific? What reality do you create? Shoulds, Musts..

Arrival Patterns in IIT Life……. Selection of Guide Identifying Research Problem Zeroth DC / GTC Grades in Course Work Comprehensive Viva Hostel and Food First DC / GTC Data Collection Delays in Thesis Correction Scholarship stopped Journal / Conference Papers and deadlines Thesis Writing (IIT Format) Job!! (No job, Joining date) Synopsis Post-IIT Stress Data Analysis, Results Expectations of Guide Family and Financial Issues

Welcoming Stress with RED CARPET….. AdhyatmikaAdhibauthikaAdhideivika Multi-tasking Procrastination No Personal Hygiene Neglecting Health Swallowing more than you can chew Lack of order and planning in life Staying away from work until last minute No proper diet and exercise regime Improper Communication Not openly communicating with people who are stressors

Stress and My IIT Friends Workload given by Guide Differences in Expectation setting Fear to communicat e or discuss Family Issues (Separation, Marriage) Took to alcohol/smok ing – 8 years PhD Running around for data collection No Journal / Conf Paper

Striking a chord with this fellow… Knowledge is Power Well Organized is Well Done! Relationships are KEY Increase Inner Strength Benchmark Use Humor

TIPS n TRICKS! know your limits and thresholds of pain and knowledge – I Know that I Know Nothing – The Buddha Use TO-DO Lists, POST-IT Notes, Outlook Calendar See STRESS as a Challenge / Opportunity Be Realistic Lean to SAY NO! Take ONE STEP at a time Discuss with Friends Forgive and Forget Have a Personal Health Plan – Diet, Nutrition, Exercise, Yoga, Meditation, Sleep Feed Your Mind – Hobbies, Interests, Sports, Relaxation, Start something New

Pearls of Wisdom Meditation Detached witness Visualize and invoke peace Surrender Equanimity When we are angry, step back from the wave of anger and try to see and feel, “anger is happening in me, but I am not in it; I am untouched by it. I watch it raise, fall and pass away like waves at the surface of my being.” To find perfect composure in the midst of change is to experience ‘nirvana’, bliss. I treat both success and failure as one and the same…

Your Sun Diagram Feeling engaged

“To relieve tension, minutes of real calm, inner and outer, are more effective than all the remedies of the world”. SHAKE hands with STRESS Way forward……….