Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating Chapter Summary What are emotions Types of emotions Influence of emotional expression Guidelines for expressing emotions Managing difficult emotions 1

Emotions What are Emotions? Physiological Factors Nonverbal Reactions Strong emotions are coupled with strong physical changes Raise in blood pressure and heart rate can occur Nonverbal Reactions Blushing, sweating, and fidgeting are nonverbal signs of emotion Sometimes nonverbal reactions can cause negative emotions 2

Emotions What are Emotions? Cognitive Interpretations Emotions react on a cognitive level but activity is ambiguous If you were to measure someone experiencing a strong emotion it would be difficult to ascertain if it was fear or joy. Verbal Expression Though not as effective as nonverbal communication sometimes words are required to communicate emotion Make sure the message is understood accurately 3

Influences on Emotional Expression Primary and Mixed Emotions Personality There is a clear relationship between personality and emotions Extroverted individuals seem upbeat and optimistic Neurotic individuals report more negative emotion Personality doesn’t have to govern communication satisfaction Culture Individualist Culture vs. Collectivist Culture What does, “I love you,” really mean? 4

Influences on Emotional Expression Primary and Mixed Emotions Gender Biological sex is the best predictor of the ability to detect and intemperate emotional expression Research suggests that there is some truth to the unexpressive male Women are 10-15% more accurate in remembering emotion People in close relationships are more likely to recognize the emotional cues of their mates than those not in a relationship 5

Influences on Emotional Expression Primary and Mixed Emotions Social Convention Unwritten rules of communication discourage the direct expression of most emotions How many genuine emotions do you experience in public? Social rules even discourage too much positive emotion Boys can kiss their mother but should shake their father’s hand 6

Influences on Emotional Expression Primary and Mixed Emotions Fear of Self-disclosure Feelings are rarely shared publicly for fear of ridicule Those whose presenting self says one thing have a difficult if not impossible time expressing the opposite Emotion Cognition Emotions are transferred from one person to another Emotions can be infectious Crying, laughing, etc. 7

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions Recognize your feelings Identifying your emotions is the first step to managing them Distinguishing emotion is vital to your emotional intelligence Expand your emotional vocabulary Good or Bad vs. Terrible or Great Emotionally counterfeit statements When you say, “I feel like going to a show,” or I feel we’ve been seeing to much of each other,” is any feeling taking place? 8

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions Share Multiple Feelings Rarely are you experiencing just one emotion We usually communicate one emotion and often it tends to be the most negative Consider when and where to express your feelings Choose an appropriate time to express your feelings That time is not always the moment you experience them Waiting is not always a bad idea 9

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions Accept responsibility for your feelings Your language should reflect the accurate emotion “I’m feeling angry” vs. “you’re making me angry” Be mindful of the communication channel Choose the right channel Face to face, e-mail, internet, etc Understand the limitations of the channel Remember, communication is irreversible 10

Managing Difficult Emotions ABC News Video Click on box to play video 11

Managing Difficult Emotions Debilitative Emotions Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions Facilitative Contribute to effective functioning Debilitative Detract from effective functioning Intensity Some intensity in emotion may be constructive While too much emotion will make the situation worse 12

Managing Difficult Emotions Debilitative Emotions Debilitative emotions break down into two categories Anxiousness Duration Most debilitative emotions involve communication Most, but all debilitative emotions lead to conflict Some debilitative emotions take longer to recover from 13

Managing Difficult Emotions Source of Debilitative Emotions Physiology Your genetic makeup plays a significant role The amygdala Hijacking the brain and sometimes the senses Emotional Memory Some emotional events lock themselves in your memory These events can trigger adverse reactions 14

Managing Difficult Emotions Debilitative Emotions Self Talk The similarities between the physical and emotional Look at emotions in the following example Event Feeling Bee Sting Physical Pain Meeting Strangers Nervous Feelings Taking Tests Heavy Anxiety Can you come up with some others? 15

Managing Difficult Emotions Irrationality and Emotions The Fallacy of Perfection Communicators should be able to handle every situation The Fallacy of Approval You need the approval of every person The Fallacy of Shoulds Inability to distinguish between what is and what should be The Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations If something bad can happen it will 16

Managing Difficult Emotions Irrationality and Emotions The Fallacy of Overgeneralization Making decisions with little information The Causation Irrational belief that emotions are caused by others The Fallacy of Helplessness Satisfaction in life is determined by forces beyond your control 17

Managing Difficult Emotions Minimize Debilitative Emotions Monitor your emotional reactions Recognize when you’re feeling these emotions Change your behavior to counteract Note the activating event Try to identify exactly what triggered the emotion Keep in mind it can be more than one event Record your self-talk Monitor your inner monologue Keep a journal or recording of you thoughts 18

Managing Difficult Emotions Minimize Debilitative Emotions Dispute your irrational beliefs Use the list of irrational fallacies on page 144-149 to discover which internal thinking could be classified as irrational Are your beliefs rational? Why or why not? What can you do differently? 19

Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating Chapter Summary What are emotions Types of emotions Influence of emotional expression Guidelines for expressing emotions Managing difficult emotions 20