Weekly Nugget #3 October 13, 2011 Tips for Rapport Building Amanda Kilgore - MI Coordinator

 Building rapport simply puts you on the same level as your client  You can build rapport in many ways:  Mirroring their actions (nonverbals)  Words  Talking LIKE them  very stylistic (i.e. tone, rate of speech, etc. )

 Sensory Preference  Visual/auditory/kinesthetic (VAK)  VAK determines how information is processed  Most individuals learn either visually (see), aurally (hear) or kinesthetically (feel)  Pay attention to certain words that people in each VAK category use   Builds Rapport

 Learn best when info is in front of them  E.g. charts, videos, pictures, demonstrations  How do things look?  Words often used by visuals people: Analyze Focus Idea Imagine Inspect Look Obvious Perception Picture See Show Sketchy Spot View Watch

 Learn best by listening  E.g. listening to speakers  How do things sound?  Words often used by auditory people: Announce Discuss Gossip Hear Listen Mention Remark Rumor Picture Sound Speak Talk Tell Utter Voice

 Learn best with hands-on experience  E.g. learn to type on keyboard by using physically using keyboard and learning from mistakes  How to things feel?  Words often used by kinesthetic people: Active Affected Bearable Emotional Feel Foundation Grasp Intuition Pressure Rush Sensitive Stress Tension Tied Unsettled

 When you are with your client and you hear them use particular words like “support, tension, tied...”, you respond to them with other words from the kinesthetic category  Makes client feel that similarities are present between you and her/him  establishes rapport due to points of relation

 3 important elements in face to face communication  1. Words (7%)  2. Tone of voice (38%)  3. Body language (55%)  Albert Mehrabian 1971  Body language 55% of the communication   Fastest way to build rapport

 Notice if client mirrors you  Mirroring  move/gesture in same way  Mirroring is an individual’s way of expressing similarities  Similarities create a common ground  Much like team spirit… Think of a sporting event where everyone around you is rooting for the same team  sense of connectedness

 Similarities build points of connectedness  Humans look for points of relation and resemblance when communicating (“we share this in common….”  Subconscious behavior  You mirror without having to think about it…much like moving hair out of your face  Creates empathy

 Examples of mirroring:  Mirror hand gestures  Leaning forward/away  Head/arm movements  BE SUBTLE  Could destroy rapport if obvious  Delay about 2-4 seconds before you mirror  Do NOT copy every move  could be annoying/appear fake and could reduce your credibility

 Use same volume  will ease the client  Quiet, soft-spoken person  do not be a loud speaker  Use same pace  will ease the client  Slow talker  do not increase pace and talk 90 mph  Make eye contact  One tactic could be noticing eye color (just do not STARE!!)  Firm handshake

 Make client feel comfortable  Try to establish trust  Be personable  If you get nervous when speaking with client and you stutter or lose train of thought just collect yourself and continue…if you appear to be uncomfortable there is a good chance that they will become uncomfortable  Get on their level  Try to identify with them (find points of relation)  Similarities can also help YOU construct the conversation

 Use their language  Important for the client to UNDERSTAND and COMPREHEND what you are saying (e.g. try to use simple terminology)  Adjust conversation by noticing cues  If something is making your client uncomfortable (e.g. you notice them avoiding eye contact, sighing or even crossing arms) do not be persistent with your tactics  be dynamic and willing to change!  MI is patient centered  adjust to them