Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t know my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Hey, you must have done 125 mph to stay up with me! Way to go!
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop I thought you had to be in relatively good condition to be a police officer.
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school, instead.
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Bad cop! No donut!
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Didn’t I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Wow, you look just like the picture on my girlfriend’s nightstand.
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Is it true that people become cops when they’re too dumb to work at McDonald’s?
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop I pay your salary!
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop So, uh, you on the take or what?
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Gee, Officer! That’s great! The last four cops only gave me a warning, too!
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars in sight - that’s how far they are ahead of me.
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop What do you mean, “Have you been drinking?” You’re the trained specialist!
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Well, when I bent down to pick up my crack vial, my gun fell off of my lap, and wedged between the brake and gas pedal.
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Is that a 9mm? That’s wimpy compared to this.44 Magnum!
Things You Should Never Say to a Cop Hey, do we get to do another one of those full body cavity searches?