FRIENDS The One About the Rugby Game Jokes => Premises

Characteristics of humor ► Truth ► Surprise ► Incongruity ► Exaggeration ► Hostility / tension ► Brevity

Joke 1 Phoebe: Oh, hey, hi. Could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 1 Some people watch news on television for no reason. They have no clue as to what’s going on in the world because they pay attention only to basic things like dresses, faces, or weather. Some people watch news on television for no reason. They have no clue as to what’s going on in the world because they pay attention only to basic things like dresses, faces, or weather.

Joke 2 Rachel:Joey:Rachel: Well, here’s another question for you. Do you know what that little silver knob on the toilet does? Sure, it flushes it. Oh, ok, good. Now since you know what it does, when you come over, would you mind actually using it?

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 2 It’s weird that for some grown up people knowing how to use public toilets doesn’t necessarily mean actually using them properly. It’s weird that for some grown up people knowing how to use public toilets doesn’t necessarily mean actually using them properly. It’s weird that such a simple and basic thing as the flushing knob in public restrooms can be ignored or forgotten by adults, especially after finishing number two. It’s weird that such a simple and basic thing as the flushing knob in public restrooms can be ignored or forgotten by adults, especially after finishing number two.

Joke 3 Phoebe:Chandler:Joey: What?! I thought you were crazy about her! I know. But you know all those little annoying things that she did before we fell in love, you know? Like her voice and her laugh and her personality. They’re all back! And she’s picked up, like, nine new ones! So what are you doing bringing her here? There’s people here!

Premise structure ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 3 It’s weird that men view their ex-girlfriends as wild repulsive animals. Once they fall out of love, men find their ex-girlfriends unbearable. It’s weird that men view their ex-girlfriends as wild repulsive animals. Once they fall out of love, men find their ex-girlfriends unbearable.

Joke 4 Devon: Ross’ GF: Ross: Ross: You’re welcome to play. Ross play rugby? I don’t think so. What’s so funny about that? Well, I mean, you’re American to start with. You don’t really have rugby here. Well, we didn’t have freedom here until 1776 either, so …

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 4 It’s hard enough to destroy negative stereotypes about one’s culture, but it’s even harder to come up with practices that create positive stereotypes about a culture, especially about competitive sports It’s hard enough to destroy negative stereotypes about one’s culture, but it’s even harder to come up with practices that create positive stereotypes about a culture, especially about competitive sports

Joke 5 Janice:Chandler: Oh, boy! I just love to sing. Yes, I know that you do. I think one of the reasons people are complaining though was because they paid to hear the actor -- sing “Old Man River.”

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 5 It’s hard to deal with people who hum or sing aloud in public places when it’s inappropriate. It’s hard to stop them from doing it and there’s no one to complain to about it. It’s hard to deal with people who hum or sing aloud in public places when it’s inappropriate. It’s hard to stop them from doing it and there’s no one to complain to about it.

Joke 6 Chandler:Janice:Chandler:Janice:Chandler:Janice: Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas. Oh, no! Where to? Ah, to Paris? No, no, not to London? Oh, to Rome? Vienna? Oh, oh, oh, Barcelona? Ok, could you just stop talking for a second? …. Yemen. When? I don’t know exactly. Well, I’ll just have to soak up every once of Chandler Being until that moment comes.

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 6 It’s hard to be a gentleman and dump a girlfriend who won’t take a hint that it’s over. You never know what else she may come up with to prove that she loves you. It’s hard to be a gentleman and dump a girlfriend who won’t take a hint that it’s over. You never know what else she may come up with to prove that she loves you.

Joke 7 Rachel:Monica:Rachel:Phoebe: You know, you also could have used lamps and then follow the light. Yeah, well, I’m using noise. Ok? <……………..> Something. I hear something. Where is it? It’s coming from Joey? Oh, my God! That’s so freaky. Turn him off.

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 7 Some people are curious about many things but they don’t know how to look for answers. They pay attention to the wrong things and then expect to understand how something works. Some people are curious about many things but they don’t know how to look for answers. They pay attention to the wrong things and then expect to understand how something works.

Joke 8 Joey:Chandler:Joey:Chandler:Joey: Hey, what’s going on? Oh, I’m packing, you know, I’m packing ‘cuz I’m moving to Yemen tomorrow. Thanks for telling me! I’m going to pretend-moving to Yemen. Ok? It’s the only way I can get rid of her. Oh, good one! And Yemen! That actually sounds like a real country.

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 8 It’s hard to talk to people who think of themselves as knowledgeable but know very little, even basic things from school, like natural phenomena or geography: they make you acknowledge that they are smart, knowledgeable and funny. It’s hard to talk to people who think of themselves as knowledgeable but know very little, even basic things from school, like natural phenomena or geography: they make you acknowledge that they are smart, knowledgeable and funny.

Joke 9 Joey:Ross:Rachel:Ross: Man, look at this. I can’t believe you said you’d play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is! I can handle it, all right. Please, Ross. You got hurt playing badminton with my dad. That’s because your mom’s dog kept looking at me.

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 9 It’s hard to talk to people who claim that they can do many things, that they are brave or smart, even if you show them evidence of the opposite because they always have an excuse for their weaknesses. It’s hard to talk to people who claim that they can do many things, that they are brave or smart, even if you show them evidence of the opposite because they always have an excuse for their weaknesses.

Joke 10 Rachel:Monica:Rachel:Monica:Rachel: What are these? Electrical plans for the building. Ok, ok, ok. Should I be scared? I know that switch’s got to do something, OK? So I went down to City Hall and I got these. All I had to do is pay $25 and wait in the line for three hours. Wow! If only more people knew!

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 10 Order-freaks or goal-oriented people can be really scary, especially when it involves their ego and desire for recognition or control of the situation. Thank God most people are lazy and don’t want to know everything. Order-freaks or goal-oriented people can be really scary, especially when it involves their ego and desire for recognition or control of the situation. Thank God most people are lazy and don’t want to know everything.

Joke 11 Chandler: Airport clerk: Janice:Chandler: All right, you know what, she’s going to think that I’m handing you a credit card, but what I’m really going to do is hand you a library card. Ah, sir, ticket to Yemen is $2,100 and we don’t take library cards. What’s the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay? American Express?

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 11 You may need a lot of money to get yourself out of the situation when your girlfriend still passionately loves you but you already had enough of her love or you’re simply tired of her passion. You may need a lot of money to get yourself out of the situation when your girlfriend still passionately loves you but you already had enough of her love or you’re simply tired of her passion.

Joke 12 Ross’ GF: Ross: Ross Ross: Ross: Ross: Ross: No, that’s not what I was saying. I just might know a few things that could help you inflict some pain. I like that. Yeah? Listen closely. Devon has got a weak ankle. Hah? One swift kick and he’ll back off. All right: bad ankle. God it! All right? And that big bloke with the beard? He’s got a trick hip. Ha, ha! Yeah? And, and David over there, I heard that he doesn’t wear a cup. Really? I could use that. Trick hip. No cup. Ok! Ok! And Liam. Liam’s got bad knees. You hit him right and he’ll go down like a lamp! But Liam’s on my team. I don’t care. Just go get him!

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 12 It’s weird that some women take out all their anger and pain of their past relationship on their current boyfriends, making them pay for all bad things that their ex-boyfriends did to them. It’s weird that some women take out all their anger and pain of their past relationship on their current boyfriends, making them pay for all bad things that their ex-boyfriends did to them.

Joke 13 Ross: Ross’ GF: Ross: Ross: I hurt three huge men. I gave a guy a bloody nose. I mean I’m not proud of it … But I really am, I mean. And that’s all because of you. Yeah. Wonderful, amazing you. I think you’ve got concussion. No, no. I’m serious. Thank you. You’re welcome. <…………………….> I’m sorry. Did that hurt you? It’s worth the pain. <……………………..> You know what? It’s not.

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 13 It’s stupid how hard some people try to win other people’s heart and affection. They don’t seem to know that it may get really painful to bear the consequences of their wishes and dreams that have come true. It’s stupid how hard some people try to win other people’s heart and affection. They don’t seem to know that it may get really painful to bear the consequences of their wishes and dreams that have come true.

Joke 14 Janice:Chandler: Oh, well. I’ll write you every day. 15 Yemen Road. Yemen. Right. Ok. Good-bye. Good-bye.

Premise ► Topic: content, problem, what ► Attitude: weird or stupid or scary or hard ► Answer to question WHY is something weird or stupid or hard or scary ► No “I” or “my”, No Simple Past. It must be insightful, true and not funny. ► From general to specific

Premise for joke 14 No good comes out of Love. Love and affection makes people look like fools. They are ready to believe any nonsense or blatant jokes when their boyfriends or girlfriends want to dump them gently. No good comes out of Love. Love and affection makes people look like fools. They are ready to believe any nonsense or blatant jokes when their boyfriends or girlfriends want to dump them gently.