© 2010 Thomson South-Western Instructor Only Version CHAPTER 2 PlanningBusinessMessages

Chapter 2, Slide 2 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Basics of business writing  Business messages are different from college essays, term papers, and messages to friends.  Conciseness and clarity count. ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/ZSOLT NUYLASZI

Chapter 2, Slide 3 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e  Purposeful  Persuasive  Economical  Audience oriented The best business writing is Following a process can make you a better writer or speaker.

Chapter 2, Slide 4 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e The Writing Process

Chapter 1, Slide 5 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 5 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Approximately how much time should be spent at each stage?

Chapter 2, Slide 6 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Analyzing Your Purpose and Channel Identify your purpose.  Why are you writing?  What do you hope to achieve?

Chapter 2, Slide 7 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Select the best channel. Fax Letter Memo Report Telephone Voice mail Meeting Conversation Web site

Chapter 2, Slide 8 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e  How important is the message?  How fast do you need feedback?  Is a permanent record essential?  What is the cost of the channel?  How much formality do you desire?  How confidential or sensitive is the message? Select the best channel.

Chapter 2, Slide 9 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Profiling the Audience Primary Audience  Who is the primary reader?  What are my personal and professional relationships with that person?  What does the person know about the subject?  What kind of response should I expect?

Chapter 2, Slide 10 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Profiling the Audience Secondary Audience  Who else might see or hear this message?  Are they different from the primary audience?  How must I reshape the message for the secondary audience?

Chapter 1, Slide 11 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 11 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Adapting to Task and Audience

Chapter 2, Slide 12 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Spotlight Audience Benefits Focus your statements on the audience, not the sender. We are promoting a new hospitalization plan that we believe has many outstanding benefits. You will enjoy total peace of mind with our affordable hospitalization plan that meets all your needs. Try this: Instead of this:

Chapter 1, Slide 13 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 13 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Create a Message That Suits Your Audience Spotlight Audience Benefits Cultivate A “You” View Adapting to Task and Audience

Chapter 2, Slide 14 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Develop a “You” View Emphasize second-person pronouns (you/your) instead of first-person pronouns (I/we, us, our) Before we can allow you to purchase items on this new account, we must wait two weeks to verify your credit. You may begin making purchases on your new account in two weeks. Try this: Instead of this:

Chapter 2, Slide 15 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Quick Check These are better: You can now purchase HP computers at discounted prices. We are now offering HP computers at discounted prices. Revise these sentences: We are pleased to announce that you have been approved to enroll in our leadership training program. Congratulations! You have been selected to enter our leadership training program! Develop a “You” View

Chapter 1, Slide 16 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 16 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Create a Message That Suits Your Audience Spotlight Audience Benefits Cultivate A “You” View Sound Conversational Adapting to Task and Audience

Chapter 2, Slide 17 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Conversational Language The undersigned takes pleasure in... I’m happy to... Try this: Instead of this: It may be of some concern to you to learn that your check has been received and your account has been credited for $250. We’ve credited your account for $250.

Chapter 1, Slide 18 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 18 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Create a Message That Suits Your Audience Spotlight Audience Benefits Cultivate A “You” View Sound Conversational Employ Positive Language

Chapter 2, Slide 19 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Positive Language Employees may not use the First Street entrance during remodeling. Employees may use the Market Street entrance during remodeling. Try this: Instead of this: We cannot fill your order until we receive an exact model number. We can fill your order once we receive an exact model number.

Chapter 2, Slide 20 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Quick Check These are better: You will be paid promptly once the job is completed satisfactorily. We must withhold payment until you complete the job satisfactorily. Revise these sentences: If you fail to follow each requirement, you will not receive your $50 rebate. By following each requirement, you will receive your $50 rebate. State Ideas Positively

Chapter 2, Slide 21 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e UnprofessionalConversationalFormal Found in Some comic strips and songs, some commercials, some conversations, some IM and messages Business messages, novels, most newspapers, and most magazines Scientific writing, legal documents, scholarly books, formal essays, proclamations Levels of Language Use

Chapter 2, Slide 22 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e UnprofessionalConversationalFormal Characterized by Incorrect grammar, unpredictable sentence structure, inappropriate punctuation, slang, vulgarisms Correct grammar and punctuation, conversational tone, simple sentence structure, familiar words Correct grammar, serious tone, complex sentence structure, polysyllabic words Levels of Language Use

Chapter 2, Slide 23 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Levels of Language Use UnprofessionalConversationalFormal Examples wasted nab bad-mouth dough, bread stewed, plastered I ain’t humongous tight ruined catch criticize money intoxicated, drunk I’m not enormous frugal annihilated apprehend disparage currency inebriated I am not prodigious penurious

Chapter 2, Slide 24 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Quick Check You have 15 financial plans from which to choose. I have 15 different financial plans to offer my investors. We want all newly hired employees to use our carpooling program for at least three months. As a newly hired employee, you won’t have to drive to work for the first three months because you can carpool. Revise to create reader benefits.

Chapter 2, Slide 25 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e The undersigned takes great pleasure in welcoming you to our staff. Revise the following to sound conversational.

Chapter 2, Slide 26 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e I’m happy to welcome you to our staff. The undersigned takes great pleasure in welcoming you to our staff. Revise the following to sound conversational.

Chapter 2, Slide 27 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e I’m happy to welcome you to our staff. The undersigned takes great pleasure in welcoming you to our staff. Per your request, we are sending under separate cover your May invoice. Revise the following to sound conversational.

Chapter 2, Slide 28 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e I’m happy to welcome you to our staff. The undersigned takes great pleasure in welcoming you to our staff. Per your request, we are sending under separate cover your May invoice. As you requested, we are sending your May invoice separately. Revise the following to sound conversational.

Chapter 2, Slide 29 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Hidden Messages Some words and phrases convey a negative and unpleasant tone. They may imply a hidden message that the writer does not intend. Think twice before using the following negative expressions.

Chapter 1, Slide 30 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 30 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Hidden Meaning You are careless But I don’t believe you You are careless It’s probably untrue I am right You are not smart You are at fault You are inefficient, stupid and careless Negative Language You overlooked You state that You failed to You claim that You are wrong You do not understand Your delay You forgot to

Chapter 1, Slide 31 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 31 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Create a Message That Suits Your Audience Spotlight Audience Benefits Cultivate A “You” View Sound Conversational Employ Positive Language Use Inclusive Language

Chapter 2, Slide 32 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Inclusive Language Have you called a salesman? Have you called a salesperson? Try this: Instead of this: Every executive has his own office.  All executives have their own offices.  Every executive has an office.  All executives have offices.  Every executive has his or her own office. This alternative is wordy and calls attention to itself

Chapter 2, Slide 33 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e These are better: Positive and Inclusive Language No tenant may move in until May 1. Revise these sentences:

Chapter 2, Slide 34 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e These are better: Tenants may move in on May 1. Positive and Inclusive Language No tenant may move in until May 1. Revise these sentences:

Chapter 2, Slide 35 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e These are better: Tenants may move in on May 1. Positive and Inclusive Language No tenant may move in until May 1. Revise these sentences: Because you failed to include your credit information, we cannot ship your order.

Chapter 2, Slide 36 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e These are better: Tenants may move in on May 1. As soon as we receive your credit information, we can ship your order. Positive and Inclusive Language No tenant may move in until May 1. Revise these sentences: Because you failed to include your credit information, we cannot ship your order.

Chapter 2, Slide 37 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e These are better: Tenants may move in on May 1. As soon as we receive your credit information, we can ship your order. Positive and Inclusive Language No tenant may move in until May 1. Revise these sentences: Because you failed to include your credit information, we cannot ship your order. Marcello Luna is the new Mexican accountant.

Chapter 2, Slide 38 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Quick Check These are better: Tenants may move in on May 1. As soon as we receive your credit information, we can ship your order. Positive and Inclusive Language Marcello Luna is the new accountant. No tenant may move in until May 1. Revise these sentences: Because you failed to include your credit information, we cannot ship your order. Marcello Luna is the new Mexican accountant.

Chapter 1, Slide 39 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 39 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Create a Message That Suits Your Audience Spotlight Audience Benefits Cultivate A “You” View Sound Conversational Use Positive Language Use Inclusive Language Adopt Plain Language Draw on Familiar Words

Chapter 2, Slide 40 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Plain Language Avoid federalese, bureaucratese, and inflated language. Federalese: Each person to whom the request is herein addressed is henceforth solicited to submit, or to have his or her department representative submit, to the Department of Labor official described above, a comment on whether the proposed plan, in his or her considered view, meets the requirements of the 2003 law. Simple Translation: You may wish to comment on whether the proposed plan meets the requirements of the 2003 law.

Chapter 2, Slide 41 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Familiar Words encountermeet extrapolateproject obligatoryrequired terminateend Avoid long, difficult, and unfamiliar words. Use short, simple, and common words whenever possible. Less familiar wordsSimple alternatives

Chapter 1, Slide 42 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 42 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Choose Courteous Language Choose Courteous Language Use Inclusive Language Use Inclusive Language Use Positive Language Use Positive Language Sound Conversational Sound Conversational Cultivate A “You” View Cultivate A “You” View Spotlight Audience Benefits Spotlight Audience Benefits Create a Message That Suits Your Audience Create a Message That Suits Your Audience Draw on Familiar Words Draw on Familiar Words Adopt Plain Language Adopt Plain Language

Chapter 2, Slide 43 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Try this: Will you please complete this research by June 1. You must complete this research by June 1. Instead of this: I am sick and tired of being the only one who removes jammed paper from the copier! Let me show you how to remove jammed paper so that you can complete your copying. Courteous Language Avoid sounding demanding, preachy, or rude.

Chapter 2, Slide 44 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Quick Check You may have difficulty ending the contract. OR: It may be difficult to end the contract. You may encounter difficulty in terminating the contract. As stipulated, we extrapolated the budget figures for two years. As required, we projected the budget figures for two years. Revise the following using simple language

Chapter 2, Slide 45 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Will you utilize workbooks during the obligatory training period? Revise the following using simple language

Chapter 2, Slide 46 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Will you use workbooks during the required training period? Will you utilize workbooks during the obligatory training period? Revise the following using simple language

Chapter 2, Slide 47 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Will you use workbooks during the required training period? Will you utilize workbooks during the obligatory training period? We anticipate that a majority of the alternative will be sufficiently fundamental to meet our requirements. Revise the following using simple language

Chapter 2, Slide 48 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Will you use workbooks during the required training period? Will you utilize workbooks during the obligatory training period? We anticipate that a majority of the alternative will be sufficiently fundamental to meet our requirements. We expect that most of the choices will be sufficiently basic to meet our needs. Revise the following using simple language

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