Mary Ellen Bates BatesInfo.com Shirley Alldredge Memorial Lecture Feb. 27, 2014 Joyful (No, really!) Negotiating.

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Presentation transcript:

Mary Ellen Bates BatesInfo.com Shirley Alldredge Memorial Lecture Feb. 27, 2014 Joyful (No, really!) Negotiating

Slide deck at BatesInfo.com/extras 2

Deadhead Negotiating

What is negotiation? 4 BatesInfo.com

Negotiation ≠ confrontation It’s not either/or Assertive ≠ aggressive Just show up! BatesInfo.com 5

5 Myths of Negotiation Negotiation is a power struggle Compromise is weakness You have to look out for #1 Never show your hand You have to be shrewd and cunning 6 BatesInfo.com

Who is running your life? 7

"You're the boss" Let the external world drive you “I had no choice” “He makes me so mad” “I can't / I wish / if only...” “My boss never lets me...” “People take advantage of me” 8 BatesInfo.com

"I'm the boss of me" Let the external world drive you Own your power to affect your world “I had no choice” “I didn't look at all the alternatives” “He makes me so mad” “I'm choosing to react angrily” 9 BatesInfo.com

"I'm the boss of me" “I can't / I wish / if only...” “What do I need to do to accomplish...?” “My boss never lets me...” “I haven't yet negotiated with my boss about...” “People take advantage of me” “Thanks for asking; I can’t do that right now.” 10 BatesInfo.com

Solve this mystery... You planned to attend the 2014 SLA conference. A travel freeze happens. You get there anyway! What happened? BatesInfo.com 11

Negotiate from abundance It’s never a zero-sum game There’s always a larger pie Shift from worst-case to best-case thinking BatesInfo.com 12

Focus on results you both want Interest-based rather than position- based discussion Aim for what's ideal, not what you'll settle for BatesInfo.com 13

Focus on now, not history Current situation, not what got you there Focus on the problem, not each other 14 BatesInfo.com

Ask more questions! Do you know everything you need to know about the situation? What else do you need to know? How could you add more value? 15 BatesInfo.com

Know when you have leverage When offered job or promotion “Hmmmm, the figure I was expecting was closer to $X. Could you walk me through how you arrived at $Y?” BatesInfo.com 16

“No” isn’t always “NO” “No" just means "give me a reason to say yes” What else can you offer? BatesInfo.com 17

What would you do? You want to learn how to create webinars. Your boss says “absolutely not”. What would you do? 18 BatesInfo.com

Be able to walk away Never invest more than you can leave on the table Listen to your gut Stop caring about the outcome BatesInfo.com 19

Check ego at the door Mad? Scared? Feeling like a victim? Deep breath. And another. Give up prior history with counterpart Take counterpart’s perspective Maybe they’re not ripping you off! BatesInfo.com 20

De-fuse negotiation anxiety Create situation to succeed “Can I have it for free?” doesn’t count How can you solve counterpart’s problem? BatesInfo.com 21

It's business, not personal...even when it’s personal! You are your own best advocate. BatesInfo.com 22

What would you do? A staff member says, “I’m going to quit! I’m working too many hours!” What would you do? 23 BatesInfo.com

Your assignment In the next week, negotiate something Did you survive the ordeal? 24 BatesInfo.com

25 BatesInfo.com

Mary Ellen Bates Web: BatesInfo.com LinkedIn: maryellenbates 26