VERBAL MESSAGES

PRINCIPLES OF VERBAL MESSAGES Message meanings are in people: As you change, you change the meanings you created out of past messages.

Messages are denotative and connotative Denotation: Dictionary meaning Connotations: Emotional or subjective meaning Distinction between connotations and denotations Snarl: Highly negative Purr Words: Highly positive

Messages vary in abstraction Abstractions: a general concept derived from a class of objects; a part representation of some whole. Also the quality of being abstract. Example: Health may be a general concept Specific and concrete: wellness, disease, physical therapy, administration, or psychology.

MESSAGE MEANINGS VARY IN POLITENESS Politeness and Directness Politeness and Gender Politeness Outline

MESSAGES VARY IN ASSERTIVENESS Refers to a willingness to stand up for your rights but with respect for the rights of others. Assertive people speak their minds and welcome others to do so. Assertiveness is valued more by those cultures that stress cooperation and independence.

ASSERTIVE AND CULTURE Assertiveness is not always the most desirable response. Assertive in one culture may create problems in another culture. Assertiveness with an elder in many Asian and Hispanic cultures may be seen as insulting and disrespectful.

ASSERTIVENESS Suggestions for communicating assertiveness: Describe the problem. State how this problem affects you. Propose solutions that are workable. Confirm understanding.

MESSAGES ARE INFLUENCED BY CULTURE AND GENDER Cultural Influences The principle of cooperation The principle of peaceful relations The principle of self-denigration The principle of directness Cultural differences often create misunderstandings. Be aware of how cultures view direct and indirect speech.

Gender Influences: Women use more polite speech when seeking to gain another person’s compliance. seek agreement in conversation and in conflict situations more often than men do. What effective communication strategies do men use?

Disconfirmation and Confirmation Refers to the extent to which you acknowledge anther person. Disconfirmation: a communication pattern in which we ignore presence as well as that person’s communications. Rejection is not the same as disconfirmation. In rejection, you disagree with the person.

Disconfirmation and Confirmation Confirmation is the opposite of disconfirmation. In confirmation you not only acknowledge the presence of the other person but also indicate your acceptance of this person’s self-definition. Ableism: discrimination against people with disabilities.

RACIST SPEECH Puts down, minimizes, and marginalizes a person or group because of race. What is the difference between individual racism and institutional racism?

HETEROSEXIST SPEECH Definition: Refers to attitudes, behaviors, language that disparage gay men and lesbians. 1. Give one example of Institutional heterosexism. 2. What is normal or natural? Is there such a thing?

Avoid Heterosexist Speech Avoid offensive nonverbal mannerism that parody stereotypes. Avoid complimenting gay men and women by saying they “don’t look it.” Avoid making the assumption that gay or lesbians know what other gay or lesbians think. Avoid denying individual differences.

AGEIST SPEECH Refers to prejudice against older people and people of other age groups. For instance, saying that “all teenagers are selfish and undependable.” Linguistic ageism: calling someone a “little old lady” or “an agile 65-year-old.”

SEXIST SPEECH Involves prejudicial attitudes about men and women based on rigid beliefs about gender roles. Institutional sexism Sexist language

CULTURAL IDENIFIERS Race and Nationality Affectional Orientation Age Sex

PRINCIPLES for USING VERBAL MESSAGES EFFECTIVELY Extensionalize: avoid intensional orientation Intensional orientation Extentional orientation See the individual: Avoid allness Distinguish between facts and inferences: avoid fact-inference confusion

DISCRIMINATE AMONG: ABOID INDISCRIMINATION A form of stereotyping Focuses on differences Doesn’t respect the uniqueness of the individual or group

TALK ABOUT THE MIDDLE: AVOID POLARIZATION The tendency to look at the world and to describe it in terms of extremes—good or bad, positive or negative, healthy or sick, brilliant or stupid, rich or poor, and so on.

UPDATE MESSAGES: AVOID STATIC EVALUATION When you retain a judgment of a person, despite the inevitable changes in the person, you’re engaging in static evaluation.