Pets: Loss & Grief Dr. Millie Cordaro, LPC-I Texas State University Department of Psychology
Pet Ownership According to the 2009/2010 National Pet Owners Survey, 62% of U.S. households own a pet, which equates to 71.4 millions homes Total Number of Pets Owned in the U.S. (millions) Bird 15.0 Cat 93.6 Dog 77.5 * Ownership statistics are gathered from APPA’s 2009/2010 National Pet Owners Survey
Spending Estimated 2010 Sales within the U.S. Market For 2010, it estimated that $47.7 billion will be spent on our pets in the U.S. Breakdown: Food $18.28 billion Supplies/OTC Medicine $11.01 billion Vet Care $12.79 billion Live animal purchases $2.21 billion Pet Services: grooming & boarding $3.45 billion * Ownership statistics are gathered from APPA’s 2009/2010 National Pet Owners Survey
Subjective Well-being Pets contribute to physical and emotional health Pets provide sense of being needed
Subjective Well-being Pets provide emotional attachment bond When experiencing emotional distress, dog owners more likely to turn to their dogs for support
Family Pets are perceived by pet owners as part of the family Pets can act as surrogate friends & family
Breaking of the Bond The death or loss of a pet has a marked effect on emotional well-being People can experience a grief response to the loss of a pet similar to the loss of a significant person
Breaking of the Bond The deeper the attachment, the more intense the grief reaction
Breaking of the Bond In order to get past our grief, we must go through it
Grief Cycle DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptance Not everyone goes through every stage or in sequential order
Grief Process Denial: – numbness & disbelief – Mind’s way of processing facts
Grief Process Anger: – typical grief reaction – Underneath anger is hurt.
Grief Process Bargaining: – Wanting to do anything to spare the loss of your pet – Feeling of guilt common – Hindsight bias
Grief Process Depression: – Normal and appropriate grief reaction. – Along with feelings of emptiness, grief occurs at deeper levels. – We may..
Grief Process Acceptance: – Confused with being “OK” about the situation. – Accepting new reality – Redistribute emotional energy
Grief Reactions Preoccupation with thoughts or memories about the pet Diminished ability to concentrate on other tasks
Grief Reactions Anticipatory grief occurs prior to the loss of a pet Grief triggers
Individual Differences People living alone or who have limited social contact Age and personality of owner
Disenfranchised Grief Grief hidden, unrecognized or underestimated There is a lack of social recognition
Disenfranchised Grief Grief reactions and rituals for mourning deceased pets tend to be discouraged
Disenfranchised Grief Friends and family may unintentionally appear insensitive to pet loss- related grief May keep people from fully grieving the loss when a pet dies
Disenfranchised Grief When people feel that there grief is unworthy of public acknowledgement, the grief process stagnates
Disenfranchised Grief Grief experienced within social context Fear ridicule for openly expressing grief Underlying invisibility or stigma
Disenfranchised Grief Should grief surrounding the loss of a pet be undervalued? Need to tease apart pet loss as a disenfranchised grief
Support for the Grieving Acknowledge the grief – Cry when you need to – Seek out empathic family or friends – Frame picture to be kept next to urn or grave stone – Write down all memories or eulogy in a journal. Select a time/date to read eulogy aloud once urn/ grave prepared. – Send a card or donate money to organization in pets name. Make sure griever is sent notice that money donated in pet’s name. – National Pet Memorial Day is second Sunday in September
Support for the Grieving If you need additional support Toll Free Hotlines – PetFriends, Inc. 24-hour service ( PETS) – Iowa State University ( ) Support Groups – Human Society of Austin and Travis County ( ext. 226) – Furry Angels In Heaven Pet Loss Support Group (Pflugerville, ) Counseling – Pet loss counselor – Counselors specializing in grief/ loss
Questions? Millie Cordaro, Ph.D., LPC-I