Emotional Intelligence Downing, Skip (2011), On Course: Strategies for Creating Success in College and in Life. Emotional Self-awareness Emotional Self-awareness Emotional Self-Management Emotional Self-Management Social Awareness Social Awareness Relationship Management Relationship Management

Emotional Self-awareness Recognize own feelings and how they impact thoughts and behaviors. Recognize own feelings and how they impact thoughts and behaviors. Having self-confidence. Having self-confidence. Recognizing blind spots. Recognizing blind spots.

Emotional Self-Management Ability to handle change. Ability to handle change. Ability to resist impulsive thoughts and behaviors. Ability to resist impulsive thoughts and behaviors. Ability to take initiative. Ability to take initiative. Having stick-to-itiveness. Having stick-to-itiveness.

Social Awareness Having empathy. Having empathy. Having the ability to understand the emotional needs of others. Having the ability to understand the emotional needs of others. How you work in a group. How you work in a group.

Relationship Management Ability to develop and maintain relationships. Ability to develop and maintain relationships. Ability to communicate clearly and listen attentively. Ability to communicate clearly and listen attentively. Ability to inspire. Ability to inspire. Ability to mange conflict. Ability to mange conflict.

Know your emotions Build a vocabulary of feelings. Build a vocabulary of feelings. Be mindful of emotions as they are happening. Be mindful of emotions as they are happening. Understand what is causing your emotion. Understand what is causing your emotion. Recognize the difference between a feeling and resulting action. Recognize the difference between a feeling and resulting action.

Identifying Stress Feelings Overwhelmed Overwhelmed Angry Angry Depressed Depressed Anxious Anxious

Overwhelmed Life is complicated, you are spread too thin Life is complicated, you are spread too thin You may feel tightness in your jaw, back, neck, and/or lack sleep. You may feel tightness in your jaw, back, neck, and/or lack sleep.

Behaviors to ward of feeling overwhelmed Separate from external stressors. Separate from external stressors. Say “NO” Say “NO” Exercise Exercise Get enough sleep Get enough sleep List priorities and put in categories List priorities and put in categories A: Important and Urgent Tasks (delegate, if possible) A: Important and Urgent Tasks (delegate, if possible) B: Important and Not Urgent Tasks (delegate, if possible) B: Important and Not Urgent Tasks (delegate, if possible) C: All unimportant Task (omit from list) C: All unimportant Task (omit from list)

Thoughts to ward off feeling Overwhelmed Elevate: Will this problem really matter a year from now? Elevate: Will this problem really matter a year from now? Trust a positive outcome. Trust a positive outcome. Take a mental Vacation. Take a mental Vacation.

Anger and Resentment Ask this question, will I benefit from releasing my anger, or will it cost me dearly? Ask this question, will I benefit from releasing my anger, or will it cost me dearly?

Choose these behaviors to lessen anger and resentment Separate. Get alone time to regain your ability to make rational choices. Separate. Get alone time to regain your ability to make rational choices. Exercise. Exercise. Relax. Relax. Journal. Journal. Channel your anger into positive action. Channel your anger into positive action.

Shrinking anger and resentment by thinking… Reframe. Look at the problem from a different perspective. Reframe. Look at the problem from a different perspective. Distract yourself. Watch a funny movie, read an uplifting book. Distract yourself. Watch a funny movie, read an uplifting book. Identify the hurt. Identify the hurt. Forgive. Not necessarily because the person deserves forgiveness, but because letting go of the anger will help you to move on. Forgive. Not necessarily because the person deserves forgiveness, but because letting go of the anger will help you to move on.

Fear and Anxiety Gives our bodies a message that we are in danger. FLIGHT vs. FIGHT! Gives our bodies a message that we are in danger. FLIGHT vs. FIGHT! May feel shallow breathing, increased pulse rate, and butterflies in the stomach. May feel shallow breathing, increased pulse rate, and butterflies in the stomach.

Behaviors to lessen test anxiety. Prepare thoroughly. Confidence will decrease anxiety. Prepare thoroughly. Confidence will decrease anxiety. Relax. Relax. Breathe deeply. Breathe deeply.

Thoughts to debunk fear and anxiety Detach. Detach. Reframe. Reframe. Visualize SUCCESS! Visualize SUCCESS! Assume the best. Assume the best. Face the fear. FALSE EXPECTATION APPEARING REAL. Face the fear. FALSE EXPECTATION APPEARING REAL. Develop and repeat your affirmation. Develop and repeat your affirmation.

Sadness and depression Loss of something we care deeply for. Loss of something we care deeply for. May feel low energy, constant fatigue, and lack of positive will to perform meaningful tasks. May feel low energy, constant fatigue, and lack of positive will to perform meaningful tasks.

Positive Behaviors in Response to sadness and depression Do something toward your goals. Do something toward your goals. Exercise. Exercise. Listen to uplifting music. Listen to uplifting music. Laugh. Laugh. Breathe deeply. Breathe deeply. Help others in need. Help others in need. Journal. Journal. Socialize with friends and loved ones. Socialize with friends and loved ones.

Positive thoughts to ward off sadness and depression Dispute pessimistic beliefs. Dispute pessimistic beliefs. Distract yourself. Distract yourself. Focus on the positive: Identify your blessings. Focus on the positive: Identify your blessings. Find the opportunity in the problem. Find the opportunity in the problem. Remind your self, that “This too, shall pass.” Remind your self, that “This too, shall pass.” Identify others who may have more to be sad or depressed about. Identify others who may have more to be sad or depressed about.

Choose your attitude Do you manage your emotions, or do they manage you?

Creating Flow What are you doing when you feel the most happy to be alive- when you become so absorbed that time seems to disappear?

Believing in yourself Nurture yourself physically. Eat right. Eat right. Exercise. Exercise. Avoid habits that harm your body. Avoid habits that harm your body. Get enough sleep. Get enough sleep. Have regular check-ups. Have regular check-ups. Play. Play.

Believing in yourself Nurture yourself mentally Use positive self-talk. Use positive self-talk. Develop a positive affirmation. Develop a positive affirmation. Read uplifting books. Read uplifting books. Visualize your success. Visualize your success. Listen to uplifting music. Listen to uplifting music. Teach someone else. Teach someone else.

Believing in yourself Nurture yourself emotionally Treat yourself with compassion Treat yourself with compassion Feel your feelings Feel your feelings Share your feeling with a friend Share your feeling with a friend Write about your feelings in your journal Write about your feelings in your journal See an uplifting and inspiring movie See an uplifting and inspiring movie Spend time with loved ones Spend time with loved ones Listen to inspiring music Listen to inspiring music Do something special for yourself Do something special for yourself Remind yourself, that strong feelings will pass. Remind yourself, that strong feelings will pass. Mistakes do not define who you are- there are growth opportunities. Mistakes do not define who you are- there are growth opportunities.