Managing Conflict: Personalities & Problems Northern Employee Assistance Services (315)

The Nature of Conflict Conflict is inevitable. It is the natural result of competing ideas or options. Change cycles out of conflict. Without change there is no growth.

Benefits  Stimulates creativity & motivation  Increased knowledge & skills  Enhanced problem identification  Increased group cohesiveness  Contributes to goal attainment

Unresolved Conflict Unresolved Conflict  Decreases productivity  Erodes trust and morale  Impairs communication  Paralyzes the decision making process

Basics of Conflict Basics of Conflict Internal: objectives competing for primacy Interpersonal: feeling threatened about the loss of needs Inter-group: between members of a group

During Conflict: What can you really hear? Verbal Non verbal

Assertiveness is directly communicating your needs or beliefs, while at the same time respecting the other’s rights or position.

Assertiveness Technique Summarize the facts & use reflective listening Indicate your feelings or needs Indicate your feelings or needs within the situation State your position, reasons, and possible benefits to the other party

Active & Reflective Listening Dr. Larry Nadig, Tips on Effective Listening The active process of checking understanding Paraphrase and reflect back to the speaker: Feelings Thoughts and beliefs Account the facts Needs or wants Expectations

Dealing with Difficult Personalities Colleen Kettenhofen, Dealing with Difficult People 101 Considerations  Observe behavior patterns  Detach from any personal offense  Strive for consistent and level responses

Difficult Personalities Colleen Kettenhofen, Dealing with Difficult People 101 Chronic Negativity Sarcastic or Gossip Hostile All Knowing

Chronic Negativity: generally occurs out of neediness Acknowledge Direct about facts or needs Tactful in explanation of issue Share optimism Necessary boundaries

Sarcastic or Gossip: connected to low self esteem and boredom Challenge the information State facts or needs Tactful about explanation the issue Necessary boundaries

Hostile: based in unchecked anger and resentment Let the individual vent Isolate the person, with a witness if possible Wait to approach Use assertive plan for discussion Necessary boundaries

All Knowing: may have insecurities or need to control Acquire the necessary information Give opportunity for their perspective State facts Share own perception Distinguish understanding from agreement

Speak to be Understood Dealing with People You Can’t Stand, Brinkman & Kirshner State your positive intent Monitor your tone Tell your truth Presume good intentions Pygmalion effect “Appreciate” criticism

De-escalating a Situation Fast! De-escalating a Situation Fast! Use calm tone and neutral language Distract by asking for more information Acknowledge Re state the problem situation Brainstorm for options Choose a solution & take action *Most perceived conflict is based on non-verbal communication*

Maintaining Collaboration  Encourage equal participation and establish expectations  Listen actively and acknowledge  Focus the problem or behavior (not the person)  Differentiate fact from opinion  Step away to gain the following: greater perspective, more information, or safety when needed

Accountability… We all make choices Manage how the behavior of others affects you Manage how the behavior of others affects you Be conscious of own area of control Be conscious of own area of control Recognize your contributions Recognize your contributions Examine the risks and efforts necessary for change Examine the risks and efforts necessary for change Get assistance when needed Get assistance when needed Accept that some conflict will not be resolved Accept that some conflict will not be resolved