VITAL SKILLS FOR DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRES MUTUAL EFFORT Communication Skills

2 categories Verbal Listening skills Writing skills Speaking skills Nonverbal Appearance Actions Body language Personal space

Communication is a 2 way street Sending Messages Receiving Messages

Verbal communication skills Listening - Requires effort - Majority of communication is listening - Types of Listeners: Active listeners, Passive listeners, Defensive listeners, Narrow listeners, Selective listeners - Requires good senders and receivers of messages

Methods of communication used in a typical school day

LEARN TO LISTEN D R I V E

How to be an Active Listener Ask questions to clarify the message Pay attention Be interested Be patient Keep the speaker in mind Stay focused Use reflection Listen to tone of voice

Bell Ringer – Dec. 17, 2010 On a piece of lined paper with your name on the top line and the date, respond to the following: (you have until 10:35 to complete and turn into the basket) 1. List 5 ways to be an active listener and discuss three advantages in relationships of active listening. Be sure to identify the type of relationship when discussing. 2. What does “It takes DRIVE to listen” mean?

Blockers to Communication: Most barriers are psychological not physiological Prejudices & Stereotypes Poor Listening skills Poor Speaking skills Lack of understanding cultural differences Preaching Coded Messages Gender Differences Blaming Diverting Ordering Ridiculing

Levels of Communication 1. Cliché conversation – no sharing 2. Sharing of information but not revealing own opinions, ideas, feelings 3. Sharing of information and your own ideas and opinions but not your feelings 4. Sharing of feelings and emotions with ideas and opinions 5. Peak communication of sharing feelings, emotions with the highest level of trust

Levels of Relationships Levels of Communication Correlate the levels of communication with the levels of Relationships

Develop Good Speaking Skills 1. Keep the listener in mind 2. Keep messages short and to the point 3. Be considerate of other’s feelings 4. Be open and honest 5. Respect the listener 6. Be positive 7. Check to be sure your message is being received accurately

Speaking Skills the way you speak – tone of voice, pronunciation, enunciation Speak clearly to express your thoughts, feelings, ideas to others

How to Start a Conversation 1. Ask questions – open ended questions – one that require more than a yes/no 2. Make a sincere compliment 3. Mention something you think you might have in common 4. Discuss more than one topic

How to make friends How to start a conversation Correlate: How to make friends with how to start a conversation

Tone of Voice Passive Aggressive Assertive

I-Messages Lets the other person know how you feel Lets the other person know what behavior is making them feel that way Lets you let them know what behavior you expect I feel >>>>>>>>>>>>>> when you>>>>>>>>>> I would like it if you>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Assignment Read pages Finish handouts from Dec. 17, 2010 With a partner, complete “The Art of Conversation” as you and your partner will role-play to the class one of the 5 situations.

Non – Verbal Communication Appearance Actions Personal Space Body Language  Posture  Hands  Arms  Handshake  Facial Expressions  Eye contact

Technology and Communication Complete handouts after reading in textbook:

Opening Communication Why open up communication? Learn about self Learn about others Able to express feelings and ideas Strengthens relationships Creates richer, more satisfying relationships

Communicate Positive Feelings Being positive is contagious Being positive opens communication Be the first to say hello Offer compliments (when deserved) Defend people who are the object of ridicule

Smile Look others in the eye and speak clearly Show concern for others Show that others are important

Handling Negative Feelings in a Positive Way

Communicating in the Workplace

Conflict & Conflict Resolution A struggle between 2 people or groups who have opposing view points Resolving the conflict is an important communication skill

Types of Conflict Intrapersonal Interpersonal Intergroup International

Causes of conflicts Possessions Environment Opinions Beliefs Ways of doing things Control/power

Fair Fighting or Conflict Resolution Like rules of a game or sport Identify the problem and focus on it Attack the problem not the person Listen to your opponent Demonstrate respect Take responsibility for your own actions

First Feelings Feelings of frustration, disappoint often turn to Anger  Learn to deal with it  The body produces chemicals that give us negative feelings when we are angry Buy some time and let your body chemistry get back to normal  Unmanaged anger fuels the conflict

Assignment Read Chapter 3 Topic 3 On page 95 there is a list of objectives, respond to each objective. Write the objective and then respond to it completely and thoroughly. On page 95, there are 7 terms, define each. Complete the handout on Conflict Resolution