Divorce Recovery Lesson 10 Contentment

I’ll Cry If I Can’t Be With You –To what degree are you struggling with discontent? Attached is a list of twenty statements representing various elements of discontent. Take a few minutes to read the statements and assess your level of contentment.

What Do You Covet? Covetousness is the opposite of contentment. The New Testament likens covetousness to idolatry. Eph. 5:5 says, “For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.” Col. 3:5 says, “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth; fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” It is covetousness or our sinful desire to have more than what God has seen fit to give us that makes us discontent.

Guard Our Desires Jesus gives us a warning in Luke 12:15, “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.” Jesus is saying we need to be on guard against our sinful desires. Our God who is good, sovereign, and wise knows better than we do what we need to glorify and enjoy Him now and forever

God Knows He knows what will make us happy. He knows how much of a good thing we can handle. He knows how much will tempt us to sin. We don’t know these things although we often think we do.

Where Are You? How discontent are you? What are you coveting? What do you think you need to make you happy? What is it that keeps you from being content right now? Learning to be content in whatever state or condition God has placed you, is a must if you are going to learn how to fall out of love biblically. The covetous desires of your heart, if not identified and removed, will seriously impede the healing process

What is Contentment? Things Permanent –Contentment is realizing that true satisfaction can come only from building my life around those things that cannot be taken away or destroyed. –Read Matt. 6: –Security and contentment are related to building one’s life around things that endure for eternity rather than things that last for the moment. –The more you build your life around temporal things the more insecure and discontent you will be.

Delight –Contentment is delighting in God more than in anything else. –Read Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desire of your heart.” –God gives us the ability to delight ourselves in virtually anything a person, a vocation, a hobby, a home, a car, travel, or anything on which we set out heart. –It is wrong to delight in these things if you seek your happiness more in them than you do in the Lord?

Enough –Contentment is realizing that God has already provided everything I need to glorify and enjoy Him. –God has already given you everything you need to be truly happy. –The minimum requirements for your contentment, according to I Timothy 6:8 are food and clothing. –Do you have much more than these?

What Do You Have? –If you are a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit to comfort and assist you. –You have the Word of God to teach, convict, correct, and instruct you in righteousness. –You have your brothers and sisters in your local church to encourage you along life’s difficult journey. –You have the promises of God to give you hope. –And you have the assurance of spending all eternity with Christ in heavenly bliss.

Need and Desire –Many things we believe to be needs are not identified as needs in the Bible. –You would be more accurate if you were to substitute the word desire for the word need as it appears in most material. –Jesus told Martha, “You are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, to sit at the feet of Christ and hear His words,” (Luke 10:41-42). –So what are you waiting for to be happy? “I would be happy if only _________________.” God will provide in His time, whatever is necessary for your long-term happiness. “And my god shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus,” (Phil. 4:19).

Attitude –Contentment is being able to adjust the level of my desire to the condition and purpose chosen for me by God. –Read, Phil. 4: –Paul learned an important element of contentment, which is the ability to regulate his level of desire to the circumstances into which God chose to place him from day to day.

Pain and Desire –You are probably wishing the feelings for you ex-spouse would go away. –You are probably wanting the pain to diminish. –There may be a dozen other things you desire right now that were once yours before the breakup.

Do You Need To Be In Love? –Contentment is willingly submitting to and delighting in God’s wise and loving disposal in every condition of life. –Read Job 1:20-22, “Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshipped. And he said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed by the name of the Lord.’ In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.” –Job did not blame his situation on any of the immediate causes, the Sabeans, the fire that fell from heaven, or the Chaldeans, or the great wind that came from across the wilderness, or the devil himself. –He saw God as the One who controls all circumstances.

God Is Not Surprised The breakup of your relationship did not take God by surprise His infinite wisdom and love, was providentially at work in the circumstances of your breakup. The sooner you submit to His sovereign will the sooner you will be able to overcome discontentment and much of the misery that comes with it.

Attachments Contentment is knowing how to use the things of this world without being engrossed in them.

Interpretation Contentment involves putting the best possible interpretation on God’s dealings with you. In 1 Corinthians 13, we read that love “believes all things.” That means that you believe the best about others.

It Isn’t Easy Learning to be content isn’t easy. It is easier than being discontent. You will spare yourself a great deal of misery. You will find it easier to recover from the breakup as you become increasingly more content with your present circumstances.