Coaching & Facilitation: Bonding & Rapport

Learning Objectives  Understand the components of bonding and rapport  Use the TAB process, including personal vision, to bond with members  Understand the relationship between bonding, member retention and referrals  Learn the coaching and facilitation skills that contribute to bonding  Practice bonding and rapport-building techniques

Why Bonding?  So why bonding?  Retention  Satisfaction  Referrals

Emotional Needs of Members  Q: As a TAB facilitator-coach, what business are you in?  A: The business of helping people achieve more – personally and professionally.  You can only do that if you have a strong relationship with your members.

Keys to Bonding  Authenticity and genuine interest in helping members grow and change  Deep interest in personal and professional interests  Personal and professional goals  Key motivators  Personal/emotional impacts – baggage  A little bit of psychology  A lot of hard work  Patience

Getting to Know Your Members  Member’s personal vision is vital  Enables emotional connection  Ensures you can serve as a guide to achieving that vision  Personal vision is gateway to bonding  Opens doors to other things they care about  Ask questions about elements of their personal vision  Make an effort to record and remember:  Birthdays  Kids’ names  Hobbies / Interests

Bonding – Bright Idea  Tips for Getting to Know Your Members  Schedule a coaching session out of their office – and yours  Ask what they like to do and schedule something that relates  Plan a board social once or twice annually  Host happy hours for everyone on your board and in your network – forge alliances between your contacts  Become the “connecting point” for members  Out of the office – and out of the ordinary – enhances creativity and builds connectivity

The Business of People  All business decisions have emotional roots  Bonding requires recognizing the concerns, anxieties, challenges, lack of experience, fear of the unknown, and so on  To solve business problems, you must also understand the emotional roots or issues at their core  Coaching requires different approaches, more emotive appeal

Bonding is Built on Trust  People do business with people they:  Know  Like  Trust  People keep doing business with people they:  Know  Like  Trust

Avoid (Dis)Trust Issues  Don’t omit something relevant  Don’t stretch or distort the truth  Don’t mislead  Don’t manipulate  Ditch any hidden agendas  DO be authentic  Do be honest and if you don’t have a solution – or their choices are between a rock and a hard place – be truthful

Trust Must Be Mutual  Set member expectations – trust cuts both ways  Members must represent facts accurately  Members must be truthful about their situations and challenges  Members must respect differing opinions

Creating a Safe Haven  Create a place members feel safe expressing concerns, weaknesses, issues  Non-threatening  Non-judgmental  Constructive guidance – acknowledge positives  What kind of environment will make your member feel comfortable discussing deep and challenging issues?  Ask & Participate: What strategies could you use to create this safe haven?

Role Play – Creating Trust and Safety  Role play the conversations you will have with members to define expectations and create a foundation of trust  Situation: First coaching session – You want to ensure you are beginning the bonding process. What do you do? How would you manage?

The Power of Empathy  Do I appear mistake-proof, regret-proof?  Do my members truly believe I “get it” and can relate?  Strategies:  Be who you are – show your human side  Use empathic language  Relate their situations to one you have experienced

Share Your Feelings  Being open about your struggles, fears, dreams will connect you to your members  Not all about you – it is a way of relating  Remember the business of relationships  Ask & Participate: What techniques would you use to create that personal connection, to be open about your situation with members?

Role Play –Empathy & Personal Issues  The Situation: A member is not acting on the advice of the board. The member is facing a significant change in their business. Many of their customers will be moving their business with this member – a contract manufacturer of electronics components – overseas within the next 12 to 18 months. The member must begin building new markets but has been paralyzed for the past six months, despite the board’s strong advice to move forward. The board is frustrated and this is affecting board dynamics.  The Challenge: The member is in the process of beginning divorce negotiations but has not shared this information with anyone outside of their immediate family. Even employees don’t know. But everyone senses “something” is going on.  The Coach’s Challenge:? How can you identify the underlying emotional issue that is contributing to the paralysis? How can the facilitator-coach avoid transferring the board’s frustration to the member while creating an environment that the member can feel safe to discuss this very personal issue.

Coaching in the Face of Adversity  What happens if a member fails or experiences a great setback?  Ask & Participate: How would you handle that?  Situation: A member’s business has failed. They must declare bankruptcy, but there is a possibility they will emerge from bankruptcy and be operational again. As the coach, you knew they were struggling, you are not surprised by this news, but you know it is difficult for them to articulate.  Role Play: The board member must alert you of this news. They don’t want to do so. Walk through a brief dialogue where you ask them about their business and get them to tell you where they are in their business. How would you speak to your board member who has just announced his intent to formally file for bankruptcy?

Power of Inspiration  Great coaches…  Inspire  Motivate  Lead  Facilitate a broader vision  You will know you have become a great coach when…  Members come to you for more than just business advice  You become the first point of contact for any business decision  They are referring you to others  They call you a trusted advisor

Coaching is Not Commanding  Great coaching requires effective advising and motivating  Can’t order your members to do what you want!  Coaching is contrary to many skills that made us successful pre-TAB  Coaching is not commanding  You are not your member’s boss

Motivating a Member Exercise  Situation: A member has been coming to board meetings unprepared. They are not completing their monthly forms. They are not achieving the goals they have set. The board has advised them but has not yet been successful.  Role Play: How would you motivate this member to fulfill his or her commitment – to themselves and the board?  Discussion

Maintaining Member Bonds  Reward and recognize progress  Highlight success or progress at a board meeting  Identify “easy wins” early on in the coaching relationship so you can point to success milestones  Host a social outing for your board and members to signal success or the reaching of a milestone  Recognize accomplishments with small tokens of appreciation  TAB merchandise, gift cards, something meaningful to your member  What else could you do?

Bonding Beyond  Coaches role is also to facilitate bonds between members  More bonded members are, more loyal they are to you and the board  Encourage board members to build bonds  BRIGHT IDEA: Every month, pair up two board members. They must meet for lunch or coffee outside of the board meeting to get to know each other.

Conclusion and Summary  Questions?  Ask & Participate:  Did you hear anything today that really clicked?  What are your top takeaways from this session?  How will you apply what you’ve learned today in your TAB business?