You Decide – 4 D’s of Drinking, Driving, Date Rape Drugs, and Dating Violence Sponsored by the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence

Today’s Presenters Kim Wells – Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence Erik Yamada – Bloomington Police Department School Resource Officer

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions What Are Some Of Them? Who to ask What to wear What to drive

Even Bigger Decisions? Drinking? Driving? Intimacy?

Living With Decisions There are always consequences – good and bad!

Fatal Vision Goggles Field sobriety test Pass the basketball

Drinking And Driving

What Is Zero Tolerance?

Zero Tolerance Consequences  Fines  Dealing with parents  Attorney Fees  Car Insurance  Someone could get hurt - lawsuits  Someone might die - jail

Alcohol Mixed With Drugs Question: What affect will mixing drugs and alcohol have on you? The effects of any drugs you take will increase severely if you have been drinking alcohol

Date Rape Drugs What are the names of some of common date rape drugs? Ketamine – Special K Rohypnol – Roofies GHB – Liquid G They are colorless, odorless, and tasteless!

About Date Rape Drugs Date rape drugs are normally slipped into a drink. They cause a loss of memory and greatly enhance the effect of alcohol causing even more loss of motor control. They leave you with no decision making skills.

How Can You Protect Yourself? Don’t leave your beverage unattended Don’t take a beverage from anyone that you don’t know and trust Be careful with everyone-even someone you know may try to slip you a date rape drug Don’t accept a drink in an open container Use the “buddy system”

How Can You Protect Yourself? (Continued) Don’t let anyone add anything to “make your drink taste better” Continue “checking in” with your friends Make sure that your friends are sticking to their original plans that you talked about Keep your plans even if a friend doesn’t

What If You Think You Took Something? Seek medical attention Contact law enforcement Trust your instincts – if you think something is wrong, get help!

What If You Gave Somebody Something? It’s serious business!

Why Would Someone Put Something In Your Drink Without Telling You? Is it for fun? - Or - Is it for control?

Dating Violence Survey Says: One in every four teens have experienced abuse in a dating relationship

What If Someone Said Stop studying so much – school isn’t as important as I am, is it? I don’t like you spending so much time on track practice – you’re not going to be an Olympic athlete anyway I don’t want anyone else looking at you, so stop wearing those clothes I can’t stand being away from you I can’t trust you to be away from me

What’s Dating Violence? A pattern of abusive or violent behavior Probably by someone you love and trust Anyone can be abused – or be an abuser It doesn’t have to be physical violence to be abusive

What’s Abusive? Slapping? Choking? Keeping someone in a room when they want to leave? “Hey – you are getting kinda fat – are you gonna eat that?” Forcing sex? Throwing a drink on someone? Pinching?

Kinds of Physical Abuse Slapping Pushing Punching Shoving Spitting Rough wrestling Smashing an object Physically detaining

Kinds of Emotional/Verbal Abuse Insults Humiliation Threats of physical harm Slamming doors Degrading remarks Isolation from loved ones Name calling

Sexual Abuse You say “no” and your wishes are not respected You are under the influence of drugs or alcohol and unable to say “no” You are sleeping You are called sexually derogatory names FORCING SOMEONE TO HAVE SEX IS NOT ONLY ABUSIVE – IT IS AGAINST THE LAW!

Cycle Of Violence Tension, Explosion, Apologies

Stage One; Tension Tension

Stage Two: Explosion Tension, Explosion

Stage Three: Apologies Tension, Explosion, Apologies

What Next? Tension, Explosion, Apologies.. ?

What Are Some Signs Of Unhealthy Relationships? Emotional abuse Controlling partner Jealousy Abuses drugs or alcohol Physical violence Unwanted sexual touching Threat to self or you Cycle of violence Increased isolation

What Are Some Signs Of Healthy Relationships? Friendship Privacy Differences o.k No pressure Equal sharing of power and control You can be you!

How Do You Help a Victim of Abuse? Listen and believe Don’t judge them or their actions Help them realize the abuse is not their fault Help them devise a safety plan Urge them to talk to someone and seek help from an expert

What If You Think You Might Be Abusive? The good news: Abuse is a learned behavior and can eventually be unlearned Seeking help shows you want to change Help is available in your community – talk to a professional The bad news: If you don’t get help you may end up in jail – domestic abuse is a crime

Where Can You Get Help? Countering Domestic Violence: 24 hour hotline Rape Crisis Center Avert Options Program

You Decide!