The Character Trait Paragraph

Character Analysis Paragraph 1. Hook Sentences describing the character traits of the character you will discuss Sentences giving support/proof to the traits you say the character has. 4. Concluding Sentence

Hook: Which is better?  In the short story, “Eleven,” Sandra Cisneros introduces her main character, Mrs. Price.  This paragraph will be about the story “Eleven,” by Sandra Cisneros.  The short story is called “Eleven” by Sandra Cisneros.

Hook  In the short story, “Eleven,” Sandra Cisneros introduces the character, Mrs. Price.  This sentence correctly introduced the title of the story, the author and the subject. It does not provide a purpose of the paragraph or use the words “paragraph” like the other two sentences.

Which Sentences are Better?  Mrs. Price is a really strict and mean teacher. She doesn’t care about Rachel. She’s also got no empathy.  Or  In spite of Mrs. Price’s best efforts to clean up her class and learn the owner of the sweater, she humiliates and ridicules Rachel in front of the class. She shows a lack of empathy and understanding towards Rachel through her actions.

Sentences  Mrs. Price is a really strict and mean teacher. She doesn’t care about Rachel. She’s also got no empathy.  These sentences are too informal for academic writing because they use contractions. They also lack details and could be said about anyone. They don’t help the reader understand more about Mrs. Price’s personality.

The Better Sentence is…  In spite of Mrs. Price’s best efforts to clean up her class and learn the owner of the sweater, she humiliates and ridicules Rachel in front of the class. She shows a lack of empathy and understanding towards Rachel through her actions.  These sentences show a general understanding of Mrs. Price and explain the reasons behind her actions.

Textual Evidence/Proof  After Rachel tells Mrs. Price that sweater is not hers, Mrs. Price tells her that “Of course it’s yours” and “I remember you wearing it once.” Later in the story another girl remembers the sweater belongs to her. words events

Using Verbs to Connect  Use specific verbs to connect the traits of your character with the evidence/proof Proof/Evid ence Character Traits Connecting Verbs Demonstrates Proves Shows Example: Mrs. Price demonstrates she is harsh by making Rachel take the sweater. Connecting Verbadjective/trait evidence/actions

Concluding Sentence  This sentence restates the main idea of your paragraph  For example, if I have been writing about Mrs. Price, then I could have the following concluding sentence:  Through her actions and dialogue, Mrs. Price appears as both unemotional and tyrannical.